<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Wend Their Ways Together by jesterlady</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266249">Wend Their Ways Together</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady'>jesterlady</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Drinking, Canon Het Relationship, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Magic, My First Fanfic, POV Multiple, Romance, Season/Series 04, Spells &amp; Enchantments, What-If</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:55:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>51,109</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesterlady/pseuds/jesterlady</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Willow had never been able to break her Will Be Done spell?  This is an extremely happy way of rewriting BTVS S4.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Daniel "Oz" Osbourne/Willow Rosenberg, Spike/Buffy Summers, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Banner by xevildeadgirlx on LJ</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://imgur.com/l2fMo04"></a><br/>  </p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy landed a kick at the back of her opponent’s neck, snapping it.  As he dropped to the floor, she glanced around, taking in the situation.  Spike had his back to the doors of the crypt, straining to hold the demons from bursting in. </p>
<p>“Man, he’s hot,” she whispered, eyes glazing over.  “Okay, focus, Buffy.  Demons to fight.” </p>
<p>She looked backward and saw Xander and Anya desperately trying to kill their demon.  Grabbing a knife from her pocket, Buffy did a front hand spring, landing her in a direct position to stick it in the demon’s back just as it was about to break Xander’s arm.  A bang from behind her made her look up as Spike flew across the crypt to land on his back when the doors flew open and three Fyarl demons burst in.</p>
<p>“Honey!” Buffy cried, rushing over to help Spike up as Anya ran to slam shut the doors and Xander brought his axe down hard on one of the Fyarl’s necks.  </p>
<p>There must have been some silver in the blade because the demon dropped like a stone and didn’t move.  The other two demons set on him and Xander shouted frantically for some help.  Buffy heard him somewhat hazily, slightly reluctant to pull away from her impromptu makeout session with Spike.  </p>
<p>“Buffy, a little help here!” Xander cried out again.  </p>
<p>She slowly removed herself from Spike’s lips and rushed to Xander’s aid.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Spike had gotten up to help Anya hold the doors when he suddenly saw a Fyarl knock Buffy down and hold her neck in its large, very strong, very capable of snapping through bone, hands.  A rage rushed over Spike.  How dare the stupid, brainless, killing git lay a hand on his fiancée!  Knowing that it was going to hurt more than anything, he charged the Fyarl and started to wail on him.  After the first punch, Spike threw up his hand to his head, expecting pain, but there wasn’t any.  He looked up in astonishment and some trepidation, but punched again, allowing Buffy to roll her way to freedom.</p>
<p>“I can hit a demon!” Spike exclaimed in growing excitement.  </p>
<p>He shifted to game face automatically and now there was just feeling the excitement of the fight, relief from his uselessness, the glory of the kill, the delight in protecting the woman he loved.  All these feelings rolled together as he promptly kicked the Fyarl’s butts, snapping their necks and relishing the crunch.</p>
<p>“That’s right, the Big Bad is back!” he crowed over the dead carcasses.  </p>
<p>Spike glanced around and saw that Xander and Anya were effectively strangling a demon on their own while Buffy was battling two vamps and two demons on the other side of the crypt.  Spike ran to her side and dusted one of the vamps with a stick he snatched off the floor on his way.  </p>
<p>Even as Spike battled the other demons, rolling with the punches and masterfully taking them down, he watched Buffy fight, marveling yet again at how beautiful and powerful she was.  Her grace as she moved was enough to mesmerize anyone.  It had always amazed him, even before their sudden engagement, how well she fought.  </p>
<p>Spike had been battling Slayers for years, he’d killed two of them and he knew them better than they knew themselves.  Even her.  He knew her so well, every step of her dance.  He’d watched her for so long but he’d always been one step off of her in their dance; too slow or too fast to beat her.  Yet, he preferred it that way.  As he’d told that other Slayer twenty-five years before, he didn’t want the dance to end.  </p>
<p>Spike didn’t want to be the one who cut off her light and ushered in the next Slayer, and not only because he now loved her with every fiber of his being and she was the sun of his existence.  Consistently she’d been the center of his world; she’d just had a different focus before now.  Spike’s non-existent breath caught in his throat as he dropped his demon, turned, and watched her execute a move that resulted in the decapitation of both her opponents at once.  </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Buffy’s eyes moved to Spike and she sighed with longing as she looked at him.  Even as she was filled with a kind of terror at the thought of him being able to kill, even demons, a thrill shot through her at how well he’d fought for her.  The relief she saw in him because she was safe was enough.  Buffy threw her arms around him and Spike held her tightly, possessively.  Xander and Anya groaned in unison behind the entwined pair and they turned wearing twin, impish looks.</p>
<p>“I think we’ve exhausted the demon supply, temporarily at least,” said Buffy, moving her mind onto something other than Spike.  “Anya, can you get a hold of your elevator guy now?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” said Anya, wearing a look of exasperation.  “I told you before.  I am telling you again.  I can.”</p>
<p>“Then do it, sweetie,” said Xander, obviously trying to be encouraging in the midst of his impatience.</p>
<p>Anya knelt in the circle she’d drawn and repeated the summoning spell.  A demon appeared before them with arms held impressively over his head.  He smiled pleasantly at them all before looking at Anya.	</p>
<p>“My dear Anyanka.  How nice of you to call.  Is there something you wanted?”</p>
<p>“What did you do with Xander’s witch?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Anyanka, you know our rules.  What does this have to do with you?”</p>
<p>“Personally only because if Xander doesn’t get Willow back, then he’ll sulk and not have sex with me.”  </p>
<p>Xander blushed, but Buffy and Spike were too busy nuzzling each other to pay too much attention though a slight grin on Spike’s face showed his vampire hearing was in fine form.  Finally, Buffy came to her senses and pushed Spike away.</p>
<p>“Honey, stop.  Now, you goaty, beardy, elevating guy.  Where’s Willow?”</p>
<p>“In Arashmaharr.”</p>
<p>“You made her a vengeance demon!” Anya shrieked in disbelief.</p>
<p>“Unhappily no.  She did not wish for the elevation.  All I could do was give her my token in hope for the future.”</p>
<p>“Then why is she still in Arashma-place?” asked Xander anxiously.</p>
<p>“Because she hasn’t found her way back, presumably,” the demon replied congenially.</p>
<p>“Portal her back!” demanded Anya angrily.</p>
<p>“I fear it is not my concern any longer,” D’Hoffryn answered smoothly.  “But don’t worry, she’ll find her way back.  That one has power.”  	</p>
<p>Then he bowed courteously and vanished in a burst of blue shocks, leaving four distressed individuals behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Giles had been doing some thinking before the others made it back to his apartment.  Xander explained what had happened in the crypt while Buffy and Spike made a big deal out of dressing each other’s wounds and cooing at how brave the other was.  Even without being able to see, Giles wanted to throw up.  As Xander reached the end of his ‘worry about Willow/tirade against Willow for doing the magic spell’ speech, Giles decided to let them all know what was going on in his mind.  Everyone more or less approved of his solution, though they all wished it didn’t have to be so temporary.</p><p>“But,” he reminded them, “the only one who can break Willow’s spell is Willow.  All we can do is try to negate the effects until she gets back.”  </p><p>They arranged to meet back there the next morning to do the necessary work.  Buffy was still wearing her worried face though.</p><p>“Xander, you can’t go home.  The demons are going to be coming for you.  You should stay here.  And you can help Giles, since he can’t see.”</p><p>“Buffy, I’m sure the demons can get at Xander wherever he is.  I know that Spike, with his new found respect for me, can get me whatever I need,” Giles said sarcastically.  </p><p>“Well, um, actually, uh,” she stammered, “I was thinking Spike should come to my dorm room with me.”  All heads, including Spike’s, shot to her in shock.  She blushed and stammered even more.  “Well, you know, that second Fyarl really cut up his head and he shouldn’t be sleeping on a couch or in the bathtub and since Willow’s gone, there’ll be an extra bed, and since Xander won’t be there, there’s no sense in him being alone at his place and-” running out of lame excuses, she ended defiantly- “and he’s my fiancée and I want him there.”</p><p>“You know, I think the Slayer is right,” said Spike, as if being drawn into an exciting, new world.  “My head feels awful bad.  Bloody agony, really.  Don’t suppose that’s a good sign.  No, after all, it’s best to listen to the Slayer.  She’s got the whole Chosen One wisdom thing going on.”  He was fooling no one, but even Giles could tell that Buffy was delighted with Spike’s blathering, despite the good show she was putting on at being annoyed and he kept on.  “You know, I bet some magic would help here.  Keep little Xander safe for the night.  We could do a barrier spell or a privacy spell, so the two of them could shag and Rupes here wouldn’t even have to know about it.”</p><p>“Shut up, Spike!” hissed Xander.  “All you care about is your own precious shag time, which you in no way deserve and would in no way get if Buffy were herself, so unless you want a beating from someone whom you can’t hit, you’d better just shut up.”</p><p>“Xander!” interrupted Buffy, “I know this is hard on you with Willow gone and all, but you have to accept Spike.  I know it’ll take time, but you have to.  Spike was just trying to help.”  </p><p>Spike flashed an impertinent and unrepentant grin at Xander behind her back.</p><p>“Yes, he was being very helpful,” said Anya.  “I like the privacy spell idea, let’s do that.”</p><p>“Anya, the reason we’re not doing the spell is the same reason we’re not doing any of the spells that’ll actually help us right now.  The magic shop is closed and we don’t have any of the ingredients we need,” explained Giles wearily.</p><p>“Oh, we don’t need that stuff for a basic warding off spell for demons, and I can do the privacy spell myself.  Something I learned back in my demon days; you see there was this one-”</p><p>“Explain how we do it,” interrupted Buffy impatiently.</p><p>“Well, all you need to do the ward spell is someone who fights demons, someone with magic ability, a demon, and the Lithos Sphere.  Giles has one right there.”  </p><p>So between Giles, Anya, Buffy, and a most reluctant Spike, they set up a warding spell against demons for the night.  Spike and Buffy then left, after a plea from Giles for them to be careful.</p><p>“Buffy, I know this feels normal to you.  But try to remember it isn’t real, and don’t do anything rash.”</p><p>“Oh hell, he’s already playing the heavy father bit,” muttered Spike.  </p><p>Buffy shoved him in the ribs and tenderly took Giles’ hand.</p><p>“Giles, you know I’ll be careful.  Spike loves me and he can’t hurt me because of the chip anyway.  I know this is supposed to be a spell, but I think it backfired somehow and didn’t affect the two of us.  Probably because of our Slayer and vampire-ness.  But I know you worry, so please just rest those eyes and the two of us will be back bright and early in the morning ready to help.”</p><p>“Oh yeah, I’ll be back bright in the morning, especially since I’ll probably be on bloody fire,” grumbled Spike.  </p><p>Buffy giggled and took his proffered arm and they left Anya preparing her privacy spell, a very red Xander, and Giles, looking as if death had come for him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Spike and Buffy burst through her dorm room door, almost falling over in their kissing haste.  But then, like magic, they slowed to a halt and just stood there holding onto each other like time was stilled.  Spike stirred first and whispered into her ear.</p><p>“What have you done to me, Slayer?”</p><p>“Nothing that you haven’t done to me, too,” she whispered back.</p><p>“You know, three hours ago we were fighting, luv.”</p><p>“I wanted to dust you so bad.”</p><p>“I wanted to drain you drier than the Sahara.”</p><p>“Do you think it’s true?  Do you think we only stopped because of Willow’s spell?  Do you think we really still hate each other?”  Buffy spoke all of this reluctantly.</p><p>“You look at it logically, pet, that’s how it looks it works out.  But I’ve never thought with logic.  I’ll tell you something that I’ve always been ashamed of to prove it.”</p><p>“What is it?”  Buffy put her hand to his cheek and led him over to her bed.  </p><p>He sat with his back against the headboard and she curled up on his chest while he played with her hair.</p><p>“I bloody love your hair, Buffy.  It’s like sunshine, the sunshine that I never get to see; it’s all wound up in your hair.”</p><p>“That’s what you’re ashamed of?” she asked teasingly.  “Well, I never thought you hated me that much as to be so ashamed that you like my hair.”</p><p>“That’s not it, luv.  I just couldn’t help myself for a moment.  It’s so beautiful.”  Spike was quiet for a moment which she thought was unusual considering he normally never shut up.  “Do you remember the night we met?” he said finally.</p><p>“Well, yeah, you told me you were going to kill me.  A girl normally doesn’t forget that.  Well, I have it said to me so often that it’s kind of not a-” she broke off, seeing his smile.  </p><p>“Did you know I watched you?” he asked.</p><p>“You watched me kill that vamp and then applauded me.  You mean that?” she replied.</p><p>“No, I watched you dance.  I’ve always had a thing for putting Slayers and dancing together.”  Spike accompanied his remark with a feather light kiss that sent shivers up her spine.</p><p>“Why’d you watch me dance?”</p><p>“Well, I was sizing you up, pet.  I track down Slayers and I watch them before I kill them.  I want to know my opponent and it’s pretty predatory and I always like to do that.”  </p><p>“I would say eww, but don’t want to ruin the mood.  So, what does all this mean?” she asked, smiling.</p><p>“It’s just, it’s never happened to me like that.  You see, every time I meet a Slayer, I get a rush, a delight of the hunt so to speak.  And I can hardly wait to start dancing with them, with the Slayer part of them.  I didn’t care about their lives or who else they knew; I didn’t care if the fight lasted hours or if we danced forever.  I just wanted to enjoy killing the Slayer.”  Buffy shuddered at this and looked across the room.  “I’m sorry, luv.  Too much for you?”  His tone still carried hints of taunting which got her back up.</p><p>“No, it’s okay.  I am just sick of loving vampires and having to forget about what they’ve done and how much our true natures are to kill each other.”  </p><p>He chuckled under his breath and stiffened up at the same time.</p><p>“Could we not talk about Mr. Broods A Lot right now?  Does everything in your life always have to go back to him?”</p><p>“That’s not fair, Spike.  I don’t love Angel, I love you.  Even if it is a spell, I love you.  I was including you in my prior statement.”</p><p>“Oh, sure, include me in the part about how you want to kill me.”</p><p>“Don’t say such a thing.  I could never kill you now.  And I won’t let anyone else either.”</p><p>“Brilliant.  One hundred and twenty years of ravaging the world, doing what I like, and now I have to be protected and bloody well coddled by the Slayer to make sure that boy of yours doesn’t stake me.”</p><p>“Spike,” Buffy said calmly and coldly, “stop it.  All that matters right now is us.  Not Angel, not Xander, not Drusilla.  So stop being all affronted and continue with what you were telling me.”</p><p>“Right, right, luv.  I’m sorry.  I just get so bloody angry when I think how Angel takes away everything of mine.  How you could be thinking about being with him when you’re with me.”</p><p>“No,” Buffy said firmly.  </p><p>Spike looked relieved and continued his story.</p><p>“I never before cared about who the Slayer was.  I did that night.  I wanted to know how you felt about the whelp, what the things were you talked about with Red, how you looked in the sunshine, about your family, where you were born.  I still wanted to kill you, but I wanted to know you first.  And that is a bloody weird thing for a vampire to want to do.  It scared me.  I hoped fervently that the moon or Miss Edith wouldn’t tell Dru about it.  I never wanted anybody to know that a Master vampire could possibly feel anything other than hate for a Slayer.  Made me feel weak.”</p><p>“That’s the strongest thing I’ve ever heard of,” said Buffy in shock as if astonished that her arch enemy could have felt that way.  </p><p>Spike laughed a little bitterly.</p><p>“Well, thanks for saying it, pet, but, anyway, the point is that - suppose I have to have a point to all this?  I thought so - the point is that we’ve never had a normal vamp/slayer relationship.  There’s hate there, yeah, but there’s something else, too.  I can smell it even without feeling it.  I liked killing those Slayers, but I was rather indifferent to them personally.  I know it’s the same for you.  I know you like killing vampires.  But you don’t really care about the vampire part of it.  You want to kill vamps, but not any particular one.  Am I right?”</p><p>“I’ve wanted to kill particular vamps,” retorted Buffy hotly.  </p><p>“Because they’d done something, because they’d hurt you or your mates.  But I bet you never just took a look at a vamp and said, ‘I want to kill that one.  Life will never be worthwhile unless I get that one.  He’ll be interesting, he’ll be fun, he’ll be a challenge.’ ”  </p><p>She smiled at his imitation of her voice and admitted, </p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Well, that’s how unlife became for me when I met you.  I didn’t come to Sunnydale for you.  I came for Drusilla, to kill Angel, but it was all pointless unless I could be fighting you.  I don’t know if this is a spell and I would love you outside of it, but I do know, luv, that I wouldn’t be indifferent to you.  I know how worthy you are.  I like being evil, I like being bad.  There is such a thing as too much good, believe me, I know it.  But I love you right now and so, no more evil for poor Spike.”</p><p>“Thank you,” said Buffy.  “It’s hard for me to believe that I’m hearing you say that.  Still, I think you’re right.  If we two can put our natures on hold to fight together to stop an apocalypse, even with selfish motives, then we can love each other, with or without a spell and we can be married.”</p><p>“All right, we’ll do that then.”</p><p>“And, Spike?”  </p><p>“Yeah, luv?”  </p><p>Buffy was a little ashamed of herself as she said it and Spike must have understood because he looked ashamed for hearing it.</p><p>“I know what you mean when you said that you only wanted to be fighting me.  I feel that way, too.”</p><p>“Thanks, pet.”  </p><p>They lay there a little longer, each processing the overwhelming new information they had about the other, until Buffy jumped up. </p><p>“We need to get working on our wedding again.  We need to pick a date.  We need-” she changed her tone at Spike’s pout.  “Oh, were you thinking we could do another fun thing right now?”</p><p>“Can’t help what you bring out in me, Slayer.  Bloodlust and just ordinary ol’ lust too.”</p><p>“You’re a pig, Spike.”</p><p>“No, see, I don’t think pigs ever feel bloodlust.”</p><p>“Arguing with you leads to the bad, Spike.  You’re so annoying, so just kiss me already.”  </p><p>Spike had a forced smile on his face at her words but pulled her into his arms.  The exploration of each other’s mouths was about to move to new and exciting places when suddenly Spike pulled away.</p><p>“Buffy luv, can we talk for a minute?”</p><p>“Yup, what’s up?”  Buffy used her perky cheerleader voice because she thought something might be wrong.</p><p>“I want to do something right,” Spike answered cryptically, looking shocked that the words had come out of his mouth.</p><p>“Okay, what does that mean?” she asked, a little skeptically out of her long experience with vampires and the fact that they weren’t ever supposed to want to do something right.</p><p>“All right, you know how you human lot says vamps are pretty much animals?  Well, you’re not right, but you’re not wrong there.  No conscience, no ideas about right or wrong, well, plenty of ideas about wrong.  A normal vamp would think nothing of shagging you all night and to hang with any consequences.”  Spike spoke slowly as if getting himself used to what he was saying, even though he obviously meant every word.</p><p>“Consequences?  Spike, you’re a vamp.”</p><p>“Not the type I’m thinking of, pet.”  Spike hesitated over the next part, like he wasn't quite sure even an engagement with Buffy merited this depth of intimate sharing.  But he swallowed and shouldered on.  “Now, me as a man, not quite the same as me the demon.  I was a proper Victorian gentleman, much as it pains me to admit it.  No gentleman would ever sleep with his lady before they were married.  It wasn’t right.  I want to be right with you, Buffy.”  </p><p>She felt confused and then horror crossed her face as old wounds ripped open.  All reserve she might have kept at knowing she was with Spike was swept away under the tide of humiliation she felt.</p><p>“It’s me, isn’t it?  Something’s not right with me.  It’s like you were saying about me and Parker, you were right, well, not right to say it, but it’s true.  I’m too grabby, I make them take me, and then when I wake up they’re gone.  Too possessive, yeah, that’s me.  Possessive and needy Buffy.”  </p><p>By now she was babbling to herself having retreated to the other side of the room.  	</p><p>Spike followed in an instant, the look on his face saying he was enjoying the moment and then a look of consternation crossed his face.</p><p>“No!  Buffy, that has nothing to do with it.”  </p><p>She continued to retreat and ramble.  Spike cursed under his breath before shaking her shoulders violently.  When that didn’t work he slapped her face, all the while grimacing with pain from the chip.  That got her attention and the Slayer in her rose to the fore and punched him in the nose.  His hand flew to it and he half yelped/half chuckled.</p><p>“I knew that’d get you.  Always go for the nose, huh, luv?”</p><p>“Spike.”  Buffy came back to herself.  “I’m sorry…I think.”</p><p>“Will you let me explain?”  Spike looked like he was cursing himself for having said anything as well as for wanting to make it right.</p><p>“Okay, I’m listening.”  Buffy sat down and folded her arms defensively.</p><p>“I was a complete git to talk about you like that with Parker.  I was just trying to get you mad.  As for possessive and needy, that’s rot.  Parker’s the most asinine tosser I ever heard of not to want to wake up beside you.  I’ll cut Peaches a break by admitting it’s not exactly his fault that he didn’t.  Slayer, believe me when I say that’s all I want, to always wake up beside you.”  </p><p>Both Slayer and vampire seemed a bit startled at this proclamation so feeling declared.  They were silent for a moment before Buffy asked,</p><p>“So why won’t you?”  </p><p>Spike hesitated as if making a huge life decision.</p><p>“Because I don’t want to take advantage of you, making you think the only reason I’m playing white hat is cause you bribe me to in the sack every night.  Because some leftover Victorian ethic in me wants our first time to be on the wedding night.  Because I want to cherish you, luv, without feeling like it’s just something to sate my appetite.  I want to do this for you, but I want to do this for me, to prove to myself that I’m not just an animal, just a demon, but that I can make my own decisions about what’s right and hold to them.  I don’t want to be the man I was, you’ll never know how glad I am that Dru Sired me, but I want to be able to act like a man on my own.  Does that make sense to you?”  </p><p>Buffy looked deep into the blue wells of emotion that were his eyes and somehow found there what she sought, so she nodded.</p><p>“Don’t you ever scare me like that again!  Or I swear you’ll be dust before you can even blink!”  </p><p>Spike laughed.</p><p>“That’s my girl.  You always hit the hardest when you’re down.  As delicious as it was, I didn’t actually mean to scare or hurt you.  I know it’s partially my fault that you have those little insecurities.”</p><p>“What insecurities?” Buffy inquired hotly.  </p><p>Spike just chuckled and continued.</p><p>“Sorry about that then.  Don’t want my girl weakening on me.”  Buffy started to splutter, but Spike took hold of her chin and told her.  “And before you even ask, you are so beautiful and desirable that if I could breathe, I wouldn’t be able to.”</p><p>“Silver-tongued beast,” Buffy snapped, very relieved anyway.</p><p>“Golden-haired goddess,” he shot right back.  “Which is why, I hope you won’t take this the wrong way when I say, I don’t think that I should sleep over here in case the temptation to worship my goddess becomes too great.”</p><p>“If you insist.  Shall I walk the little vampire back to Giles’?”</p><p>“Shut your mouth, vixen.  On second thought, I think I’ll do it for you.”  </p><p>Spike claimed her mouth in a searing kiss that not only left her mouth shut, but her brain shut down as well.  He must have done it on purpose.</p><p>“Okay, I’m starting to get the temptation thing,” she gasped when he finally pulled away.</p><p>“I think it’s too late for me to go back to Giles’ tonight, but I promise to behave myself.  You were right earlier; we should work on the wedding.”</p><p>“Cruel, mean vampire.  Hey, I have a wedding date in mind.  Tomorrow work for you?”</p><p>“Slow down, luv.  Wouldn’t want to get me all worked up again.  I promise as soon as we can get it planned, it’ll happen.”</p><p>“Whatever my mortal enemy says.”</p><p>“And don’t you forget it, Slayer.”</p><p>They spent the rest of the night alternating between fighting over the wedding plans and making out, finally falling asleep wrapped in papers and each other’s arms.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Up bright and early the next morning, Buffy and Spike (true to his word, on fire), arrived at Giles’ apartment, ready for spell action.</p><p>“We saw quite a few demon corpses around here,” said Buffy cheerfully.  “Guess the warding spell worked.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, I’m glad it doesn’t work now.  I don’t fancy dying so young again,” said Spike.</p><p>“You’re older than all of us,” said Xander.</p><p>“I’m also the most attractive.”  Spike smirked at him.</p><p>“Hey!”  Buffy smacked him in the ribs.</p><p>“Excepting you, of course, luv,” he whispered dutifully into her ear.</p><p>“Nice recovery, honey.”  She rolled her eyes and sat down on the couch where Anya was arranging all of their supplies.</p><p>“How was your night?” Buffy asked, trying to be polite.  </p><p>It was always hard to talk to Anya.  You never quite knew what she would say in return.</p><p>“Very nice.  Xander and I had lots of sex.  Did you have lots of sex with your spell-controlled hormones?”</p><p>“No,” Buffy replied in a stifled voice, “but thanks for asking.”</p><p>“Anytime.  I like to hear about other people’s lives.”  Anya said this as if it were a speech she’d rehearsed, but she smiled as if she meant it.  </p><p>Buffy had to ask.</p><p>“Did Xander put you up to asking that?”</p><p>“Well, yes.  But I agreed.  So, therefore, I invested in your lives for my own interest,” Anya answered in a proud tone.  </p><p>Buffy blinked in surprise.  Did Anya actually care about anyone other than Xander?  If she did then it meant a major rearranging of Buffy’s opinion of her and a possible need to consider Anya’s opinions as valid.</p><p>The male counterparts of the group joined them by the couch as they started to work their magic.  The most urgent issue was Xander’s demon-magnetism, so they took care of that first.  But before they got started, Spike voiced a thought.</p><p>“Does this mean that I won’t be able to see the whelp either?  I’m a demon and I’m not keen on the thought of him playing little pranks on me for fun.”  </p><p>A slow grin spread over Xander’s face.  Unfortunately for him, Anya stepped in with a suggestion.  Holding her hand in front of her mouth, she pondered for a moment and then spoke with an unnatural grin.	</p><p>“We can work the spell so that it excludes Spike.  Actually, it will be quite humorous.  I am looking forward to it.”</p><p>“Why?” asked Xander and Spike simultaneously with apprehensive faces.  </p><p>As she explained, they shook their heads and backed away to opposite sides of the room.  Buffy and Giles laughed at them and seemed delighted with the idea.  After much coercion the two of them reluctantly left the room and reappeared a short time later having switched clothing.  The two girls laughed so hard they had to sit down and Giles, unable to see, lamented the unfairness of not being able to savor the delight of the sight.  </p><p>Spike looked ridiculous in Xander’s pink vest and white shirt over a rather loud pair of pants that reminded one of a clown, all too big for him.  The effect was even more ludicrous because of his bleached hair.  Xander moved awkwardly because Spike’s black t-shirt and jeans were too small for him.  The black duster barely fit, but it did give him a certain amount of presence.  Anya thought so anyway, judging from her actions as she nuzzled his earlobes and whispered suggestions into them that the rest could hear and desperately wished they couldn’t.</p><p>“Bloody brilliant,” growled Spike.  “The little git gets off on my clothing while I’m stuck looking like a reject from Loserville.”</p><p>“It’s okay, honey,” choked Buffy, trying not to laugh, “I still think you look sexy.”  </p><p>Spike shot her a glance that did not look as if it would encourage marital bliss before sitting grouchily on the couch. </p><p>“Can we just do the sodding spell already?   I think I’m beginning to lose my devilish charm and good looks.”</p><p>“All right, but you won’t like being Xander’s anchor during the spell,” Anya warned.  She quickly put them in the center of the room and blew incense in a circle around them and repeated some Latin of some sort.  “Now, join hands,” she instructed.</p><p>“What!” they squawked.</p><p>“Don’t you know what being an anchor means?”  </p><p>Spike and Xander reluctantly joined hands and stood there looking uncomfortable, unable to meet the other’s gaze.  As Anya chanted and Buffy waved the incense around, a green light began to glow around Spike and Xander and as it grew brighter, Anya’s voice grew louder, until finally she shouted,</p><p>“So mote it be!”  </p><p>Anya slammed shut the spell book from which she’d been reading.  </p><p>The light flashed brightly and disappeared.  Instantly, Spike and Xander dropped hands and bolted for the bathroom, almost falling over each other in their haste.  Sniggering, Buffy held up the Polaroid she’d taken of the two before the end of the spell and stuffed it into her pocket for future blackmail use.  Anya laughed so hard she fell on the couch.</p><p>“The funniest thing is they didn’t actually have to wear each other’s clothes.  I’ve been studying human forms of humor and decided to try my hand at it.  I think I did rather well.”  </p><p>Buffy looked at her in astonishment.  Anya had played a practical joke for fun?  She just kept getting weirder.  Just then their two hapless fellows came back into the room, clothed in their proper attire.</p><p>“Can you see him, Spike?” asked Giles.</p><p>“Why, yes I can, Rupes.  How about you?”</p><p>“Wanker,” was Giles’ reply.</p><p>“Git,” rejoined Spike.</p><p>“Is that a British thing?” asked Xander, still avoiding Spike’s eyes.</p><p>“Yes, and do you know what another British thing is, Xander?” replied Giles, “smashing vases over people’s heads, very accidentally, of course, because I can’t see!”</p><p>“Giles, calm down,” said Buffy.  “We’re going to do you right now.  Xander, help Anya set up the spell.”  </p><p>***</p><p>Xander and Anya found the spell they’d decided on in their mini-research party the night before.  It was designed to temporarily give sight to the blind.  It only lasted twenty-four hours, so they would have to repeat it every day, but it was the best they could come up with.  Buffy and Spike mixed up motherwort, sage, and feverfew, along with some mud from the planter outside, in the kitchen.  They had difficulty, judging from the laughter and squeals that emanated from the room and confirmed by the mud on Buffy’s face as they came back in.  </p><p>Giles listened to all of this with a frown on his face.  It delighted him that Buffy was so giddy and yet so focused.  Spike seemed to bring out the best in her (apart from the smacking noises Giles was hearing), and that gave joy to the father’s love he had for her.  She’d been too depressed and complacent since Angel left, afraid to get close to anyone, and Parker had just made that worse.  Giles knew that this engagement was false and based on lies and magic.  He also knew that in real life Buffy and Spike could never give each other what they were now.  Plus, Spike!  He was just evil.  No soul, no remorse.  Just a chip.  A serial killer in prison.  </p><p>A sudden burst of laughter broke into Giles’ thoughts, making him smile.  In spite of all the sense of wrongness that kept shouting at him, Giles couldn’t help but feel that this spell should last forever if it would only keep Buffy this happy.  Except for his eyesight, of course, that had to change.</p><p>“We’re ready, Giles,” called Buffy.  “Let’s get you into the chair and apply your new daily eye shadow.”</p><p>“Oh, brilliant,” said Giles as he felt his way into the indicated chair.  “The retired librarian is reduced to wearing makeup au natural.”</p><p>“Don’t be so hard on yourself, mate,” encouraged Spike.  “Think of happier things, why, you’re going to be my father-in-law.  Buck up.”</p><p>“Yes, life is as a red rose once more.”  </p><p>Giles shuddered as the cold mud was smeared on his eyes and a warm stick of incense was placed in his hands.  He felt Xander’s hand on one shoulder and Spike’s on the other, while Buffy sat cross legged at his feet.  Anya read the incantation and a mist leaked out of Giles’ eyes, taking the mud along with it and evaporated in the air.</p><p>“Wonderful.  I don’t have to wash it off.  Remarkably clean spell,” said Giles as he opened his eyes and rejoiced in the sight of Buffy looking up at him.</p><p>“Okay, time for the lovebirds.  Let’s see if we can’t get the two of you at each other’s throats again,” said Xander.  </p><p>Buffy turned away and walked to the other side of the room with tightly clenched hands.  Spike immediately followed and took her in his arms.  The evident concern in him for her struck each of the other three as if they’d never seen him before.</p><p>“Maybe we shouldn’t try to-” Giles began, but Xander broke in.</p><p>“Giles, even if they are – whatever - we can’t leave Buffy under a spell.  She’s living a lie.”</p><p>“You’re right,” admitted Giles.  “Which is an astonishing fact, in and of itself.”</p><p>“Hey!”  </p><p>***</p><p>They called Spike and Buffy back over and prepared them for the spell.  It was a spell that was designed to break any previous love spell that had been put on them.</p><p>“One last snog for old time’s sake?” asked Spike.</p><p>“Please,” said Buffy.  </p><p>The others turned away to give them some privacy.  </p><p>Spike gazed into her eyes as he cupped her chin.</p><p>“Buffy luv, listen to me.  I’m turning into a complete prat as I say this, but no matter what happens, I will still love you.  I don’t believe magic can completely make that up.  I believe in love.  I always have, demon or human.  And I believe that I love you.”</p><p>“Spike, I love you, too,” Buffy said slowly, realizing it as she said it.  “And I want to marry you.”  </p><p>Both started as they heard her words even though the engagement had already been agreed upon.  Suddenly, it seemed real now that it might not last.  They kissed emotionally, growing in urgency toward the end as if trying to memorize how it felt before it was gone forever.  Finally, Buffy and Spike turned; ready to face the gallows, but desperately clutching hands.  </p><p>Anya spoke the words, Xander waved the incense, and Giles translated for Anya.  A cloud appeared at their feet rising slowly up their bodies, hovered around their hearts and heads, before finally rising above them and dissipating.  Everyone expected Spike and Buffy to jump apart in disgust, but if anything, they moved closer.</p><p>“Do you feel any different?” asked Giles.</p><p>“Well, all of a sudden I can’t believe I ever had a crush on Ford.  What a stupid git,” answered Buffy.</p><p>“Watch it, pet, I’m starting to influence you.”  </p><p>“I’m okay with that.  I’m just glad I don’t hate you.”  Buffy still had to get used to saying things like that as she was sure he did, too.</p><p>“Not half so glad as I, luv.”</p><p>“Now, aren’t you ashamed of all that love talk you gave me just now, trying to cheer me up?” teased Buffy.</p><p>“I meant every bloody word of it,” Spike retorted, in earnest but in some shame as well.  </p><p>The whole loving the Slayer thing was so unnatural, she knew.</p><p>“This is bad, Giles,” Xander said, sounding panicked.</p><p>“Xander, we just have to try a different spell.  These two are immune or resistant to this one for some reason.  Now, I have here a general reversal spell that will reverse any spell put on them in the past year.”</p><p>“Yeah, let’s try that.”  </p><p>Buffy and Spike seemed less worried this time.  It was a simple spell and Giles knew it, so it took very little time.  He spoke a few words.</p><p>“Backward to forward, new to old, back to front.  Be as you were.”  </p><p>He thrust his hand at them and both felt something hit them.  The only noticeable change was that Spike’s hair began to darken until all the bleach was gone and the darker mass sprang up and curled all over his head.  Everyone looked at him pointedly and he looked sheepishly at Buffy before speaking defensively.</p><p>“What?  So, I bleach my hair with magic instead of the normal, painful way!  It’s a lot easier.”  </p><p>Xander started to laugh and fell on the couch in his mirth,</p><p>“I’m hurt, Spike.  For a second there I thought you were a natural blonde!”</p><p>“Laugh it up, whelp,” said Spike hotly.  “At least it didn’t break the other spell; the one that I’m beginning to think doesn’t exist.”</p><p>“Exactly,” said Buffy, holding his hand, although her mouth was twitching.  But none of that stopped her from thinking that he was gorgeous even without the bleach.</p><p>“I have one other spell,” said Giles.  “This is a truth-spell.  It will make you unable to lie, even if you believe what you’re saying is true and it isn’t.  Such as something a spell would make you believe.”  </p><p>He had them hold left hands, sitting on the floor, with their right hands held up in the air as he spoke the words over them.  This time nobody was surprised when they opened their eyes, looking at each other with milky white pupils and said,</p><p>“I love you.”  </p><p>There was a silence.</p><p>“I think they love each other,” said Anya.  “And now, I’m going to look for a spell for Xander to get Willow back so he won’t sulk.”</p><p>“Yes, I believe getting Willow home is top priority.  She’ll be able to break this spell when she gets here and save us the trouble.  We’ll just have to put up with them until then,” said Giles.</p><p>“Giles, we’ll help with the getting Willow home stuff, but Spike and I have to go tell my mother that we’re getting married.”</p><p>“Yes, get it over with,” Giles agreed reluctantly, apparently wise to the fact he couldn’t stop them.</p><p>“Okay, get into full research mode and we’ll be back soon to help,” Buffy promised.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy gave in to Spike’s insistence that she let him bleach his hair again before they saw Joyce.  She decided to let him know later how much she liked his hair, with or without the bleach.  The spell took all of two seconds (probably from practice,) and then they were on their way, using the sewers to get as close to her house as possible before having to resort to the thick tarp he had over one shoulder.</p><p>“I’ve had all I can stand of magic for one day,” Spike said, in an irritated tone.  “I feel dizzy.”</p><p>“Yes, but of course we had to stop and do magic for your hair, which I thought you didn’t trust, by the way?”</p><p>“Well, I didn’t want to give your mum the news looking like a ponce and simple spells like that aren’t an issue.”</p><p>“Ah, I think you just didn’t want to look like a ponce.”</p><p>“Well, who would?” he retorted.  </p><p>This led to an interesting conversation on the subject of ponces and if they could help looking as they did.  It was interrupted only by the quick dusting of two vamps and the disarming of a demon.  As they neared their destination, Buffy suddenly hit her hand to her head.</p><p>“Why didn’t we just drive your car?  It would have been so much quicker.”</p><p>“I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself.  Oh well, we’re here.  Open the door before me, okay, sweetness?”</p><p>“Sure, honey.”</p><p>“We sound like an old married couple already,” moaned Spike.  “Just what I need to wreck my fragile reputation.”</p><p>“You’ll live, darling,” teased Buffy.  “Well, actually, you won’t, cause you aren’t now, cause you’re dead.  Oh!  You get what I mean,” she spluttered to a halt, seeing his laughter at her teasing turning on her.</p><p>They made a run for the door and Spike idly smacked out the flames on his jacket.</p><p>“Hi, Mom.”  Buffy kissed Joyce on the cheek.</p><p>“Hey, honey.  Well, hello, Spike.   I haven’t seen you in ages.  How are you?”</p><p>“I’m fine and good.  How about you then?”</p><p>“Well, thank you.  The gallery’s booming, Buffy seems chipper, and nobody’s tried to kidnap me in a while.”</p><p>“I could arrange for that last bit if you wanted,” Spike offered with a grin on his face.</p><p>“I’ll let you know.”  Joyce smiled back.  “Can I get you something?  I have some hot chocolate and those little marshmallows you like.”</p><p>“That sounds lovely, thanks.”</p><p>“Buffy?”</p><p>“No, that’s okay, Mom.  I’m not depressed enough for chocolate.”  </p><p>The three of them settled into the living room.  </p><p>As Joyce gave Spike his cocoa, she asked,</p><p>“Now, what are the two of you up to?  Another apocalypse?”</p><p>“No, something much better.  Mom, we’re getting married!”  </p><p>Joyce started at this, but then looked at their faces and joined hands before calmly picking up her tea and replying.</p><p>“Well, it’s about time you noticed him.”  </p><p>Both of them looked at her, startled.</p><p>“What do you mean, Mom?”</p><p>“Well, I always thought Spike was perfect for you, (don’t get a big head now, William), I just never thought you’d see it.”</p><p>“Joyce, the last time I saw you, I was crying my eyes out over Drusilla.”</p><p>“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t see you were the right one for Buffy.”</p><p>“Well, that’s a bloody load off my mind,” Spike muttered.  </p><p>Buffy looked at him in surprise.  He avoided her glance, as if not wanting her to see that the vampire had been afraid of not obtaining parental consent.  She was started to be really good at reading him and smiled before admitting her own fear on the subject.</p><p>“And mine.  I am so glad you’re happy about it, Mom.  No one else is.  They think we’re under a spell, even though they tried three times to break it and didn’t get any results.”  Buffy paused.  “There is something else.  You do know he’s a vampire, right?”</p><p>“Yes, I know.”</p><p>“And you’re okay with that?”</p><p>“I can see it will make things considerably harder for you, but I have a feeling it will be okay, so long as you understand that going into it.”</p><p>“But you didn’t feel that way about - I’m sorry, Spike, I have to say his name - Angel.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t.  I knew you weren’t thinking about these serious things with him, you were just a girl thinking about her boyfriend.  Plus, I just don’t like him.”</p><p>“I knew there was a reason I liked you, Joyce,” said Spike.  “Doesn’t it just make you want to put a railroad spike through your head the way he moans on about his guilt and the right bleeding thing to do?”</p><p>“Spike!” said Buffy.  She turned to Joyce.  “One other thing, Mom.  Spike’s still basically evil.  He doesn’t have a soul, he loves me and that’s why he’s turning good.  Well, that and the chip in his head.”</p><p>“Spike’s not evil,” said Joyce firmly.</p><p>“Hey, I am so evil!” cried Spike.</p><p>“How come you’re willing to turn your back on everything that’s natural to you?” Joyce asked.</p><p>“Cause Buffy doesn’t like it and I love Buffy.”</p><p>“Well, I won’t say anything more just now and I know I’m new to the whole supernatural world, but I’ve a theory about you, Spike.  And I am sure it’s true.”</p><p>“I bloody well hope not,” grumbled Spike.  “It’s bad enough I’m stuck with the Scoobies, I couldn’t stand being all noble, too.”</p><p>“Well, right now I will just say congratulations.  But I don’t want either of you to think I approve of your getting married.  It’s bad judgment on both your parts and I think that’s probably where the spell is coming in.  So, I won’t try to stop it.  I love the two of you together, but neither of you is ready for marriage, especially not so suddenly.  But I will offer you two things: money and help planning.”</p><p>“Best mother-in-law ever, pet,” Spike informed her. </p><p>*****</p><p>Willow had been desperately trying to find her way home.  She’d traveled all over the dimension of Arashmaharr and met all sorts of demons, most of them quite nice and none who tried to hurt her.  There seemed to be some sort of unspoken rule concerning D’Hoffryn’s protégés.  She finally discovered a door that would lead her back to her own dimension.  </p><p>Unfortunately, it was accessible only every three months, which was six months in her dimension’s time.  It would also require a great deal of strength and power.  She wasn’t sure she had enough, but she knew she had to try.  Her first concern, however, was letting everyone know she was okay and finding out how they all were.  Thinking hard, she managed to open a portal into Giles’ apartment that allowed her to see and speak to the others.</p><p>***</p><p>In the apartment, Giles, Anya, and Xander were stuck.  They couldn’t find any way to get Willow back.  Even Anya, with her extensive knowledge of that dimension, could only come up with the plan that Willow had also devised.  They were sitting there, discouraged, when Willow’s portal suddenly opened.</p><p>“Will, are you okay?”  Xander jumped to his feet.</p><p>“I’m fine, Xan.  Don’t worry.”  Willow explained her plan and Anya confirmed its validity.</p><p>“I wish you didn’t have to be there so long alone, Willow,” said Giles.</p><p>“Try the Rashan-Bartuk Hotel,” said Anya helpfully.  “They serve human food and won’t charge you anything you don’t mind giving up.  It’s very convenient.”</p><p>“Thank you, Anya.  Is everything there okay?  Have you been able to do anything about my spell?  Is Buffy okay?”</p><p>“We’re fine, Will.  I’m invisible to demons and Giles can see.  Buffy is…happy.”</p><p>“Did you break the spell?” Willow asked.</p><p>“No, we tried, three times.  It just won’t break.  Buffy and Captain Peroxide are still making with the smoochies.”</p><p>“Try this.  It’s what I would do to break my own spell, maybe it will work through you.”  Willow told them the words and Giles wrote them down.  “I’m so sorry, you guys.  I never meant for this to happen.  I’m drowning in the guilt over here.”</p><p>“It’s okay, Will.  We understand, just get home,” Xander replied.</p><p>“I’ll do my best.  The portal’s breaking up.  I will call again to see if you guys are okay and let you know how it’s going here.  I love you all.”</p><p>“We love you, Will.”  </p><p>The portal flashed and blanked out, leaving the three of them relieved and scared for Willow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy and Spike, brimming over with joviality, (despite a huge fight over the invitations on the way), arrived at Giles.’  They found the others feeling useless.</p><p>“What’s up with everyone’s bad-moody faces?  Did you finally accept Spike and I are forever?”</p><p>“Buffy, you’re not…forever.”  Giles said the term as if it were a bad word.</p><p>“Well, yeah, she isn’t.  But I’m unliving proof that I will go on forever, mate.”</p><p>“I was referring to your relationship, Spike.  I am well aware of your immortality.  But, I cheerfully predict that you’ll kill each other before you’ve been married a month.”</p><p>“Giiiles!” whined Buffy, “it’s time for being the supportive father figure, not the heavy-handed one.”</p><p>“I apologize, Buffy.  I will try to work on my gag reflexes.  It’s going to take forever for me to get used to this.  I suggest we update you on Willow’s status.”</p><p>“Did you find a way to get her back?” Buffy asked eagerly.</p><p>“Well, yes.  Unfortunately, it’s going to take a long time,” Giles said.</p><p>“How long?” Spike asked.</p><p>“Six months,” replied Anya.</p><p>“But then she’ll miss my wedding.”</p><p>“Buffy, I hardly think that should be your primary reason for alarm.”</p><p>“Okay, you’re right.  Sorry.  It’s just, for some reason, the wedding seems like the most important thing in the world, like if it doesn’t happen, life is meaningless.”</p><p>“Makes sense to me, you’re under a spell,” said Xander.</p><p>“Xander, shut up.  Giles, are you sure we can’t get Willow back sooner?  How do you know she’s okay?”</p><p>“Willow opened a portal from Arashmaharr,” explained Anya.  “There are entryways, but they can only be accessed at certain times.  They like to be able to know when someone is coming or going there.  But we got to talk to her and we know she’s okay.  She’s going to call us again later.”</p><p>“She also left another spell for us to try on you two.  We’re going to try to break her spell by proxy.  So, if you will just stand there in the center?” Giles requested.  </p><p>Buffy and Spike sighed and once more moved into position.</p><p>“Okay, Giles, one more time.  Let’s do this.”</p><p>“Let the healing power begin,<br/>Let Willow’s will be safe again.<br/>As these words of peace are spoken,<br/>Let this harmful spell be broken.”  </p><p>As Giles finished speaking, there was a loud lightning flash, but Buffy and Spike stayed undisturbed, holding hands in the center of the room. </p><p>“I think it didn’t work,” said Anya.</p><p>“Giles and I don’t seem to be any different and Buffy and Spike are clearly still on the other side of the rainbow.”</p><p>“Well, he’s right, you know,” Spike whispered in Buffy’s ear.  “Bloody stupid, the two of us together; still, rainbow’s not so bad, I’m holding the pot of gold.”</p><p>“That was just lame enough to be sweet,” she whispered back.  “Oh!  I have to go to school.  I’m late.”</p><p>“While you’re there, Buffy, it would probably be advisable for you to inform them of Willow’s prolonged absence,” Giles advised.</p><p>“Right, poor Will.  Having to miss classes, dealing with Oz break up-age, being stuck in a demon dimension.  Just not her month.”</p><p>“And, Buffy, don’t forget.  We are still working to find out about those Commandos you met.  It is imperative we not let our concern for Willow blind us to a potential threat.”</p><p>“Check.  Watch out for Commando guys.”  </p><p>Buffy gave Spike a hurried kiss goodbye and ran out the door.  Giles and Xander moved in on Spike and used her absence as an opportunity to give him the ‘you hurt her and we’ll stake you’ speech. “</p><p>*****</p><p>Buffy used Slayer speed to get to school just in time for her psych class, though there was a stern reprimand from Professor Walsh.  She slipped into a seat next to an unassuming blonde girl and let her mind wander during the lecture.  </p><p>Buffy noticed Riley looking at her at odd intervals and very casually leaned her chin into her left hand so her ring was obvious.  She doodled wedding plans on her notebook and stole glances at her classmate’s paper.  The blonde girl kept meticulous notes, but was also drawing magnificent sketches and listing what looked like the ingredients of a spell on the side of her notebook.  Buffy was very curious as to the nature of the girl and as soon as class was ended, introduced herself.</p><p>“Hi, I’m Buffy Summers.”  </p><p>The girl looked startled, but smiled a shy smile in return.	</p><p>“I-I’m Tara MaClay.”</p><p>“I know this is a big class, but I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”</p><p>“I’m rather n-new to Sunnydale.”  Tara gathered up her books and avoided Buffy’s eyes, apparently in extreme shy-ness.</p><p>“And what drew you to the town that boasts a club with annual extermination parties as its biggest attraction?”  </p><p>Tara smiled.  She seemed cautious, but willing to open up.</p><p>“L-let’s just say I had trouble with expressing myself where I used to live.”</p><p>“So you came to the Hellmouth to express and grow and have the freedom to be a witch?”  Tara looked shocked, but Buffy gestured to her notebook.  “I saw a spell.”</p><p>“A-are you a w-witch?  Your p-power doesn’t feel like it.”</p><p>“No, my power isn’t witchy in the slightest, but my best friend is a witch.  She’s stuck in a demon dimension just now or I’d introduce you.”  </p><p>Tara nodded and looked as if she wasn’t quite brave enough to ask her next question.  </p><p>“Go ahead and ask.  After everything I‘ve seen over the past few years, nothing can shock me,” Buffy said.</p><p>“You’re rather o-open about the H-hellmouth.  I-I mean, isn’t that something we shouldn’t really be talking about?  W-who are you?”</p><p>“I’m still Buffy.  Completely human.  I always want to keep up on the mystical anything that’s new in SunnyD.  I don’t want to make it seem like I’m trying to interrogate you.  Just want to be friendly.”  Tara looked slightly relieved, but her guard was still up.  Buffy tried again.  There was something about this girl that screamed ‘Power!’ and there were definite good-vibes as well.  “How about we get lunch in the cafeteria and have one of those good old-fashioned, girl-gab fests that, as Spike would say, ‘involve no bloody sense whatever and chiefly result in new ways of making mankind more of their lapdog.’ ”  </p><p>Tara smiled and silently acquiesced, asking shyly as they moved toward the cafeteria. </p><p>“W-who’s Spike?”</p><p>“My fiancée!  Look, I’m getting married.”  Buffy continued the now familiar, excited spiel as she and Tara walked toward the cafeteria for lunch.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That lunch in the cafeteria was the first of many meals that Buffy and Tara would share together, alone and with the others.  Tara was quickly acclimated into the Scoobies, each of them finding reassurance in her steadiness and discovering with delight the rich springs of humor that were hidden in her, ready to spring up without warning.  Tara provided a steady rock of quirks that had been missing from their group since Oz left.  Everyone trusted her implicitly and as time went on and her magic aided them more, their lives often fell into her hands when Buffy and Spike weren’t around.  </p><p>Between Buffy and Tara had sprung up a very natural friendship that went deeper than Buffy ever would have imagined that day they had met.  The two of them spent hours together, doing homework or girly stuff, but especially planning out the wedding.  One of those days was a shopping trip which proved to be a big part in developing their friendship.  Starting off innocently enough, the pair entered the shoe store.  Buffy’s eyes wandered greedily over the racks and shelves and the store simply stuffed to the brim with shoes.  Glowing, shining, affordable shoes!  </p><p>Effortlessly multi-tasking, Buffy tried on shoes and regaled Tara with stories of Spike’s antics.</p><p>“So then you won’t believe who knocked the cop out: Spike.  And what does he do but say, ‘Hello cutie’ as if we weren’t mortal enemies.  Then he sits down and starts explaining the inner workings of a demon’s mind.  As if I wanted to know the intimate details to the motivations of a sadistic freak like Angelus-” Buffy’s voice trailed off as she saw the tears in Tara’s eyes and the shame flooding her face.  “Oh no, I just said something bad, didn’t I?  I walked all over a painful memory.  I’m sorry, Tara.”</p><p>“N-no, no.  I mean, you d-didn’t.  I’m not- you’re fine.  I don’t wanna- wanna i-impose.”</p><p>“Say no more,” Buffy assured her.  “I’m all about imposition.  Is that a word?  Anyway, I know the perfect cure for my big mouth; sticking lots of food into it.  Come on, I’ll buy you lunch, or rather, my mom will buy you lunch, and we can talk.”  Buffy led the protesting Tara to a quiet café in the mall and they ordered some lunch.  “So, tell me what I said,” Buffy asked after they’d ordered.</p><p>“It’s just, I- I-I don’t know how to say without making your job harder and causing you to h-hate me.”</p><p>“Tara, are you totally wacky?  Unless you’re planning on killing me, which isn’t an unusual occurrence by the way, I don’t need to fight you.  And remember, I am marrying a serial-killing, torture-loving, murderous, tried-to-kill-me-I-don’t-know-how-many-times vampire - who’s really cute,” Buffy added as an afterthought.  “Anyway, I can handle anything you throw at me.”</p><p>“Well, i-it’s just, I’m a- I have a- my family is-” Tara stopped and took a breath.  “I’m part demon.  A-all the women in my family are.  It fully develops on our t-twentieth birthday.  Mine’s next year.  I-I didn’t want anyone to know, because I was ashamed and I-I’ve only just made a life here, I d-didn’t want to l-lose it.”  </p><p>Buffy made an ‘oh’ face and swallowed hard.</p><p>“Tara, we don’t want to lose you either.  Do you know what a godsend you’ve been these past months?  I’d have gone out of my mind with no girl but Anya to talk to.  Admittedly, not so much anymore.  But do you know how many times your magic has saved somebody’s life on patrol?  If there’s one thing I’ve learned being the Slayer, it’s that being a demon is not what makes you bad.  It’s your actions and choices.  And if that doesn’t convince you, do you want me to repeat everything I just said about marrying a soulless demon?  Maybe there is some cause for concern, but, hey, we’ve got a year to worry about it.  Ooh, I bet we can even get a ‘dear lord’ and a glasses polishing from Giles about it.”  </p><p>Tara smiled in relief and started to eat as fast as she could as if to avoid showing anymore of her emotions.</p><p>Buffy smiled back even as she felt the opposite on the inside.  She did mean what she said, she did.  But she felt squeamish about Tara’s revelation all the same.  Being the Slayer meant she had to make hard decisions about who was evil and who was not.  Mistakes about that often meant someone’s life.  Her Slayer senses were screaming at her 24/7 as it was for loving a vampire and one without a soul at that.  Buffy knew the only reason that she was even starting to realize that all demons weren’t bad and all humans weren’t good was because of Spike.  </p><p>True, the process had started back with Oz and his wolfing out and then Faith’s rogue Slayer issues, even Anya to some extent; but it was only because now she truly wanted a demon to be good that she actually believed it.  Buffy flinched at the truth of her motives, just as she was ashamed that even now, she was starting to regard Tara in a different light.  This brought to light the most painful thought of all.  If all demons were bad, Spike would eventually turn on her.</p><p>Buffy made sure Tara remained blissfully unaware of Buffy’s mixed feelings and she strove to repress them until that night when she and Spike met for patrolling.  Over the past few months she had become closer to Spike than she’d ever dreamed possible, and she knew that if anyone could help her sort out her muddled thoughts, it would be Spike.  </p><p>*****</p><p>When she found Spike in the cemetery, Buffy jumped on him and stayed there for a long time.  Spike was startled, but obviously didn’t mind her current position really and stroked her hair.  Finally, she loosened her hold, but didn’t let go.</p><p>“Luv, what’s up?  If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were vulnerable.”</p><p>“Spike, I’m bad.  I’m a bad Slayer, a bad person, a bad judge, and a total hypocrite.  I have no right to say anything against you when I’m just as bad, though not all happy with the murdering - there I go again.  I kill demons, maybe some don’t deserve it, and I’m-I’m a bad friend.”</p><p>“Whoa, hold on there, pet.  Let’s establish some facts here.  I will readily concede that not all demons need killing, from your point of view.  But they aren’t the ones you kill.  Them, more often than not, attack you, not the other way around.  The peaceful demons don’t go anywhere where they might meet the Slayer’s gentle touch.  As far as I know, you haven’t killed anyone who didn’t deserve it, again from your point of view.”</p><p>“But I tried to kill you.”</p><p>“And, to quote a popular phrase of yours, duh much?  Hello, I tried to kill you, Slayer!”  </p><p>Buffy visibly calmed down a bit and started using rational thought.</p><p>“Oh yeah.  Okay, I get that.  I do.”</p><p>“What’s gotten you so riled up, kitten?”</p><p>“Oh, Tara told me something today that got me all inner-contemplative.  I realized that my black and white view of the world is changing, but only from selfish motives and Buffy and the Slayer aren’t too happy with each other.  One wants all demons to be good; one wants them all to be bad.”  </p><p>Spike raised a scarred eyebrow; as though surprised and honored that Buffy would come to him of all people with these worries, and thought a moment.</p><p>“All right, so you’re not perfect.  Being the Slayer means that life ain’t gonna be easy, pet.  You’ll have to make a lot of hard choices.  And, yeah, you’ll probably go through grief, maybe kill someone who deserved it that you loved.  Hell, you already have.  But then you’ll heal and be stronger.  The only way to get through this life is to live in it.  Rest assured, luv, I will block any pain that I can out of your life.  And, Slayer…” he leaned in close, looking right into her eyes, getting straight to the truth of her fear, “...I will never cause any of it, leastways, not the kind you’re talking about.”</p><p>It amazed Buffy that Spike knew what she was really afraid of, though she was sincere about her doubts of her own morality.</p><p>“I’m sorry for doubting you, Spike,” Buffy mumbled, unused to apologizing to vampires, even ones she was engaged to.  </p><p>Spike was probably just as unused to receiving such apologies.</p><p>“You of all people should know how many reasons I’ve given you to doubt me.  No blame here, pet.”  They were quiet for a while, resting on a tombstone together and staking a few vamps.  “Now, what’s the witch got to do with your being so spooked?”</p><p>“Well, she told me today that she’s part demon, though not fully developed and it scared me.  I just wish I didn’t have to have friends where I’m worried about if they’re good or not.  And that got me thinking and then, the poor girl, she was so frightened to tell me.”  </p><p>Spike listened to all this with a look of incredulity on his face.</p><p>“Bollocks.”</p><p>“What!”</p><p>“If Tara’s a demon, then I’d hate to think about what I really am.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Girl’s not a demon.  She is an extremely talented witch, but nothing else.  I could smell it if she was.  I could sense it.  Whoever fed her that folderol didn’t know what the bloody hell they were talking about.”</p><p>“But she said all her family, all the women were, it doesn’t fully happen till they’re twenty.”  </p><p>Recognition dawned in Spike’s eyes as she said that, but he only shook his head and chuckled.</p><p>“My, my, what a piece of work.  Makes me wish I had them around a few times in the last hundred years or so.”</p><p>“What are you going on about?  Spike, I’m beginning to get the old urges to put something wooden through your heart.”</p><p>“Keep your knickers on, Slayer.  I think this is something I should talk to the witch about first.  I promise you’ll know, but she might not believe me at first tell.”</p><p>“Fine,” Buffy grumbled.  “But remember, I get first rights in all other Spike-related issues.”</p><p>“Believe me, luv,” he said suggestively, “Spike wants you to have exclusive rights in everything regarding him.”  </p><p>Buffy flushed and pressed a little closer to him.	</p><p>“Everything?” she murmured.</p><p>“Well, you can start here and work your way down the list,” he offered, brushing her lips with his.</p><p>“Ooh, Spike-lips, lips of Spike.  And all mine.  Suddenly being Buffy doesn’t sound so bad.”</p><p>***</p><p>The next morning as everyone gathered at Giles,’ Spike drew Tara into the kitchen away from the others.</p><p>“Slayer told me about yesterday.”</p><p>“S-she did?”  Tara blushed.</p><p>“Yeah, and do you know what I told her?  It’s rot.  You’re no more a demon than Xander is.”</p><p>“B-but I am, I-I have to be.”</p><p>“Cause your dad told you so?”</p><p>“All the women-”</p><p>“What all the women in your family are is being held down and kept in line by a lie.  The males in your family made it up to control you.  I’ve seen it before.”</p><p>“But, I-I’ve seen-”</p><p>“Illusions, hallucinations, and the power of suggestion, pet.  No more.”</p><p>“T-this isn’t real?  I-I’m not-” Tara started to cry.  “I’m sorry, b-but you-you have to be wrong.”</p><p>“Well, ducks, I’ve got two things here that will prove you wrong and me right.  One, I’m a vampire.  I can sense other demons.  I don’t sense anything demonic in you.  Two, can I punch your face?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Can I punch your face?  Chip in my head, won’t let me hurt humans.  Ring any bells?”</p><p>“Oh, o-okay.  J-just, not my nose.”</p><p>“Certainly.  I’m very attached to not being hit in the nose myself.”  	</p><p>Spike threw as gentle a punch as he could, while still setting off the chip, at her jaw.  Tara cried out in pain a second before he did as he grabbed his head in agony.</p><p>“S-spike, I-I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Don’t be sorry.  Do you believe me?”</p><p>“I-I think I have to.”  </p><p>Joy spread over her face as Tara realized her freedom.</p><p>“Good, glad some birds have sense.  Now shall we go regale the Scoobies with our tale of adventure and excitement?”</p><p>“Yes, please.”  </p><p>Together they headed back to the living room and proceeded to thrill everyone with the story. </p><p>***</p><p>Buffy listened to all of it with relief, not just for Tara’s sake, but because she’d realized that after Spike’s talk with her last night, she wouldn’t have minded even if Tara was part demon.  Buffy’d grown so close to Tara that unless Tara was actually evil, it didn’t matter if she was demon, witch, or part porcupine.  She belonged.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Often Anya would join Buffy and Tara in their girly-time.  Over these months, as her grasp of human customs and thought patterns improved, Buffy found her less and less of an irritation and more and more of a valued group member and, even, friend.  Her extensive knowledge of demons and their cultures made her a vital asset to the Scoobies, who quite often, </p><p>“Couldn’t make out their right hand from their left,” as Spike continually reminded them.  </p><p>It was still difficult for Buffy to be around Anya for long periods of time; but once, after a particularly tense time between the two, when Xander had been caught in the middle and his consequently strained nerves caused everyone else to feel stressed; Spike had taken it upon himself to bridge the gap and bring things to a more desired conclusion.  </p><p>A whispered conversation with Buffy, bringing home certain Spike-perceived truths that always left an impression, brought Buffy to a place where she could see Anya’s point of view.  </p><p>When questioned about his motives, Spike simply smirked.</p><p>“I like the truth, pet.  Demon-girl has it in spades and once more, always lets it out.  That’s the kind of woman who can earn my respect.”  All of this was followed up with the kind of embrace that insured no jealous feelings would emerge.  “Besides, luv, don’t you think arguing over what color the place settings will be is a little superfluous?”</p><p>“It’s your wedding, too.  You should care.”  Buffy was a little put out.</p><p>“I care about the wedding.  Just not what color it is.”  </p><p>She smiled at that and no storm clouds would destroy that afternoon. </p><p>Tara had immediately gained favor with Spike, who worked very hard at overcoming her reserve.  Like most shy people, naturally gregarious people caused her to retreat within and let them dominate the conversation.  Since Spike was overwhelmingly outgoing, at first she hardly said two words to him.  It was gradual, but his instant like of her was returned, culminating in his casually nicknaming her Glinda and her delight in having received a nickname, marking her as one of the group.  </p><p>To say that Spike and Xander had been using this time to form a lasting friendship would be stretching the truth.  Most of this was due to Spike’s inability to resist baiting Xander and Xander’s inability to let go of the notion that once the spell was broken, Spike would go back to trying to kill them all.  Though neither would admit it, even to themselves, they really did like each other and without meaning to, bonded over several things.  One being that they were the only guys around and some things just needed another guy to understand.</p><p>*****</p><p>One night after a particularly tiring patrol, a trip to the Bronze was proposed and appreciated by all, especially Tara who had never been before.  Giles, not unexpectedly, excused himself from the: </p><p>“Unbearable screeching, blinding lights, and nauseating spectacle of hormonally-challenged teenagers rubbing up against each other.”  </p><p>Spike was old enough to agree with him and young enough to enjoy a night out with his girl, even with her friends along, and the horrible American beer.  </p><p>They found a table for five and Anya quickly dragged Xander out to dance.  Spike had his beer and smirked at the two girls too young to have any.  The music changed to a beat slow enough that Spike would dance to it and Buffy, in her turn, dragged him to dance as Anya and Xander returned to the table.  Things continued the same, sometimes all five dancing, sometimes all five talking.  </p><p>After a while Spike started to get bored and there were only two acceptable options open to him.  One was to sweep Buffy away somewhere and kiss her senseless.  True, this was the option he particularly liked, but somehow didn’t think was appropriate especially considering his resolution of chastity.  Keeping that resolution was almost, but not quite, as horrifying to the vampire as the other, which was to ask Xander to play pool with him.</p><p>“Pool.  Harris.  You up for it?”  </p><p>Obviously startled, Xander turned from Anya’s questing lips and blunt questions to answer Spike.</p><p>“Ah, sure.  Not planning on killing me on the way, are you?” </p><p>“Only if you ask stupid questions.  So yeah, that’s probably on tonight’s menu.”</p><p>“Be good, Spike,” Buffy warned him.</p><p>“And don’t feel bad when he beats you, honey,” Anya called out after them.  </p><p>Together they weaved their way to an empty pool table and began to play.</p><p>“So...Spike, you know any good doctors?” asked Xander.</p><p>“What?  Do you and Demon-Girl need an OB-GYN already?  Or is this a ‘do you know any good doctors who will take out your chip and leave us all vulnerable to the Big Bad and his evil deeds’ question?”</p><p>“Okay, the last one,” Xander admitted.</p><p>“Right then.  Listen up, whelp.  I’ll only say this once, or probably three thousand more times cause you won’t believe me when I say it now.  One, no, I don’t know any doctors to get it out.  Two, you better bloody well believe that I want it out.  Three, you have my word that I will not attempt to remove it without first talking to the Slayer.  Four, you asked a stupid question and I can’t kill you; now I’m upset.”  </p><p>Though Spike’s tone was rather menacing and he did look annoyed, he hoped Xander knew he appreciated Xander’s concern for Buffy.</p><p>Both men now being satisfied that their required hostility was out of the way, they could settle into their favored occupation: non-required hostility.</p><p>“So, Xander, did I notice you limping after that vamp I ended up staking threw you against the mausoleum?  You sure you should be out and about?”</p><p>“I wasn’t the only one being saved tonight, pal.  Didn’t I notice Buffy mutilating a vamp who about broke your back with a torn up tombstone?  I would suggest you see a doctor, but then I don’t really care.”  </p><p>Spike rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Yes, but you’re forgetting one bloody thing there, mate.  Vamp healing; only a bruise now.  Sides, don’t you think a doctor might get a bit curious as to why his patient has no pulse?”</p><p>“Oh yeah, that’s right.  The Evil Undead.  I almost didn’t forget I was playing pool with a corpse!”</p><p>“Tchah.  Step lightly there, Harris.  Wouldn’t want to have to tell the Slayer the horrible things you’re saying.  Dare say it wouldn’t make her happy to have her man slighted like that.”</p><p>“Right, hiding behind your girl.  Cause why?  Oh yeah, Dead Guy’s not dangerous anymore.  Couldn’t even flick me if he wanted.”</p><p>“You’re one to talk about hiding behind your bird. Wasn’t that Anya you were using as a shield earlier on patrol?  That girl’s got more courage in her pinky than you do in your whole bloody body.”</p><p>“Dangerous words, Spike.  Too bad you can’t back them up with a little action.”</p><p>“Do you know how much you sound like a cheesy movie hero?”</p><p>“Well, yeah.  It makes me feel manly, a lot more manly than you’ll ever be anyway.”  </p><p>The two looked at each other and cracked up laughing just as Spike shoved the eight ball in the corner pocket, winning the game.</p><p>“You’re not all bad, Harris.  Still, you tell anyone I said that and I will have to hurt you, chip or no chip.”</p><p>“Yeah, like I want anybody knowing about this conversation either,” grumbled Xander, looking let down over the game he’d just lost, regardless of the fact he must have known it would happen before it started.</p><p>*****</p><p>Another thing Spike and Xander bonded over was Xander’s new found love of soccer, or, as Spike blatantly told him,</p><p>“It’s football, you bloody moron!”  </p><p>It was just further proof that all animosity vanishes when one's team is ahead.  Perhaps vanishing so much that Spike had even nicely asked Xander to be his best man and Xander had very cordially accepted.  Still, there were many fights, but nothing Buffy couldn’t handle by reminding them that they had once held hands.</p><p>*****</p><p>Giles and Spike had come to a definite understanding, both wary of the other and both giving a grudging respect to the other English man.</p><p>One night, Buffy and Spike came back to Giles’ rather late after patrolling.  Buffy gave a quick report to Giles and then had a rather prolonged goodbye with Spike.  He closed the door behind her and headed toward his bed, the couch, which he saw Giles had occupied in his absence.</p><p>“Fancy a cuddle before bedtime, Watcher?” he inquired dryly.  “Or were you planning on reading me a story to help me sleep?”</p><p>“Vastly amusing, I’m sure.  Listen, Spike, I know it is late, or midday in your case, but I feel we must have a serious discussion.” </p><p>Spike sighed heavily before flopping himself down on the couch with a grace <br/>that belied his careless movement.</p><p>“All right, but if I’m going to have to sit here and listen to you cripe at me all night, I need some serious stabilizing inducements and the good stuff, Rupert.  Not the bloody American crap you keep in the fridge.”  </p><p>Giles stared at him, obviously nonplussed.</p><p>“How did you know I kept any?”</p><p>“Did it ever occur to you that I could just smell it?  I know where it is, I know how much there is, and you’ll notice I kindly refrained from taking any, but here I am almost nicely asking for it.”  </p><p>Giles gave him a look that was not polite or reserved, but nonetheless got two bottles of his private English beer and set one before Spike.</p><p>“Now...” Spike settled himself comfortably “...what’s this all about then?  I hope it’s not a reiteration of the ‘hurt her, get staked’ speech, I’ve had enough of that one.  And it better not be a spiel about how I’m a vampire and can’t really love without a soul, and Peaches is the only one who can and blah blah, bollocks to that.  We can love, you know, quite well, if not wisely.”</p><p>“Spike, if you would cease your never ending prattle and shut that unholy mouth of yours, I might be able to tell you why I, emphasis on the I, wanted to speak to you.”</p><p>“Fire away, mate.  I’m all in a bother of anticipation.”</p><p>“I did not intend to repeat myself on the matter of staking you nor to lecture you on the behavior habits of vampires, which being one, you know far more about, I have to admit.  I don’t even wish to speak to you as a Watcher regarding his Slayer, but as a father regarding his daughter.  I realize Buffy is not my child, but the feelings I have for her are as genuine as any I would feel for my own daughter.  Buffy is a grown woman now and capable of making her own decisions and I’m very proud of her.  The way that she has bounced back from her apathy after Angel’s departure has convinced me to give you a chance, so to speak.</p><p>So listen good, Spike.  You want her, she wants you, I won’t stand in the way despite the numerous misgivings anyone with sense would have in this situation.  I will treat you as I would any man who would fall for Buffy, with pity and contempt.  Pity because I believe no man could help it, and contempt that any man would think himself worthy of my girl.  She is the strongest and most courageous person I know and I respect her enough to let her stand on her own decisions.  But I’m watching you, Spike.</p><p>And a word of advice: if you want us to treat you with anything other than disgust, like a man; then act like one.  I know you’re acting off your nature and over a hundred year’s worth of habit, but if you’ve managed to overcome as much as you have, then you can do that much more; on survival instincts, if nothing else.  And I do believe that was the longest I’ve ever seen you keep your mouth shut.”</p><p>“Only cause yours was open the whole time,” Spike replied absently.  </p><p>He was thinking.  Everything Giles said made sense and Spike respected him for his words; but underneath it all was a new awareness of just how unique Buffy was to have earned the love, a most special love, of all these people, of this man.  Spike knew Buffy had deep sadness over the loss of her father, but- </p><p>“Now she truly has a father,” he said the words out loud before he thought.  </p><p>Giles looked surprised, but pleased.</p><p>“Thank you, Spike.  Now have we come to an understanding?”</p><p>“Sure thing, Rupes.  For the record, I know I’m not her equal and I am honoring her to the best of my ability.  So, can I go to bed now, Dad?”  </p><p>The ending came out hurriedly as if Spike was anxious to reestablish his reputation as a snarky sinner and proud of it.</p><p>“One more thing, Spike.  How do you intend to contribute to your marriage financially?  And how, technically, will you be able to do that, being dead?  I’d just like to know your thoughts.”  </p><p>Spike looked startled as if such a thing had never occurred to him before.  </p><p>“Well, I don’t know.  I have papers so I look legit.  Update them every time it’s necessary.  I guess that means I could get a job.  Ugh, being a white hat is horrible.”  </p><p>Giles smiled grimly,</p><p>“Yes, I feel your pain most acutely.  Just be thinking about money and job options.”</p><p>“Great, bloody, buggering hell.  Just what I needed.”  A light began to dawn in Spike’s eyes.  “Wait a sec, I think I know what to do.  And it’s not illegal, so stop looking at me like that.”</p><p>“What is it, if it’s something we all would approve of?”  Giles was clearly skeptical.</p><p>“Not now, I’ve got to suss this out in my mind.  Just be assured I’m taking care of it, yeah?”</p><p>“Very well, for now.”</p><p>“So, we done now?”</p><p>“I believe we are done here.”  </p><p>***</p><p>Giles rolled his eyes as Spike blew him a kiss and downed the rest of Giles’ beer.  Giles climbed the stairs to his loft and got into bed, smiling as the sounds of purring, emanating from Spike, rose through the flat.</p><p>‘Nice to know I have a great purring vampire sleeping on my couch.  Oh, the look on his face if I told him!  Stupid prat would never get over it,’ were Giles’ last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.</p><p>To tell the truth, Giles, (apart from the reassuring purring), was quite relieved to have someone around who understood his ways, even if mocked about them at every turn.  </p><p>But most of the reason why Giles came to regard Spike as anything other than a necessary evil was that Giles believed in a Higher Purpose for the vampire.  The idea had come into Giles’ head the first time he’d accompanied Buffy and Spike on patrol.  The pair were magnificent, truly awesome to watch in their grace, power, and synchronicity.  It was almost as if they anticipated each other’s moves.  To be fair, most of the precognition seemed to come from Spike, which seemed in keeping with his track record of hunting down Slayers, learning their styles, and then killing them.  He must’ve watched her a long time and suddenly Giles knew why Buffy hadn’t been able to kill Spike before.  He knew her too well.  </p><p>Giles found himself wondering if Spike really did know her so well, why wasn’t she dead?  Unless he hadn’t really wanted to kill her?  That was when the thought that this engagement might not be entirely due to magic occurred to him, but it was also when he decided that the chip had been sent to Spike in order to set him down a road he never would’ve considered otherwise.  From that point on, Giles did his best to set his memories aside and focus on Spike’s behavior from now, which apart from the constant inappropriate and rude remarks, was faultless.  </p><p>Which, Giles knew, was simply because, whether he liked it or not, Spike was rapidly becoming fond of all of them, including Willow, whom he only got to see occasionally, via the portal.</p><p>***</p><p>Willow called about once a week, always cheerful and contrite, but interested in her surroundings despite her longing to come home.  She was rather reluctant to miss the wedding, especially considering the circumstances.  But then again, it seemed greedy to put her needs ahead of Buffy’s, when it was Willow’s selfishness that had brought them both into this fix.  To Willow’s mind, it was twisted logic, but logic she felt compelled to obey at Buffy’s request.  </p><p>By chance, it would seem, Willow was having a quiet chat with Buffy and Tara, when one of the huge things that this space of time brought about happened, which was the return of Oz.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy was totally shocked when the knock on the door turned out to be the redheaded werewolf.</p><p>“Oz!  Come in!  When did you get back?”  She gave him a quick hug before ushering him in.</p><p>“Pretty much now.”</p><p>“Um, well, I know you probably want to see Willow, and she’s here, just not here here.”  Oz seemed to accept this the way he accepted all unusual news, without surprise, and waiting for her sure-to-be forthcoming explanation.  “She’s stuck in a demon dimension and won’t be able to get back until a couple of months from now, but she’s totally okay and she’s opened a portal to talk to us.”</p><p>“Sounds like there’s a story there.  Guess I’ll hear more later.  But, is she really doing okay?”</p><p>“I will be as soon as you get over here and talk to me, Oz,” Willow called from inside the room.  He crossed the room to where Willow’s image hung inside a glowing, silver circle floating three feet off the ground.  “Oz, what are you doing back here?  Not that I’m not glad to see you, I really wish I was actually there.  But, I’m not glad to see you either.  You just left and didn’t leave me anywhere to reach you.  And you’re the reason I’m stuck here, though I guess that’s pretty much my fault, not yours and, and, and I wish I was there.”  </p><p>Oz looked at Willow and Buffy could tell how glad he was to see Willow and watch her do her nervous ramble thing.  </p><p>“I think Tara and I will be outside,” said Buffy, pulling a willing Tara out toward the door.  </p><p>Though Tara had developed considerably in her self-confidence and was completely privy to the whole Willow/Oz saga, new meetings and private talks obviously made her nervous.  Buffy and Tara closed the door behind them and sat down on the fountain to soak up some sun.  </p><p>After a while, Buffy remembered that she had wanted to ask Tara a special request.</p><p>“Tara, now that we’ve finally settled it that Willow won’t be at the wedding, though she’ll be there with the portal, I want you to be my maid-of-honor.”</p><p>“Buffy!  T-that’s so special; you don’t even know me that well.  I mean, s-shouldn’t you ask Anya?”</p><p>“Tara!  Anya and I have come a long way, but she is so not being my maid-of-honor.  That job is reserved for someone I can talk to for more than twenty minutes at a time.  I want you to have it.  Anya will be my bridesmaid, Miss Perfection, so don’t worry, she’s not left out.  To be honest, I’m really not that close with anyone else.”</p><p>“I’m h-honored.  Thank you, Buffy.  I-I mean you just met me and all.”</p><p>“Don’t say another word, please.  So, what do you say we go dress-shopping as soon as we find out Oz’s fate?”  </p><p>Tara laughed and agreed.  A little while later the door opened and Oz stepped out, a pleased look on his face.  Anyone else would have been grinning.  They could see that things were okay between the witch and the werewolf once more.</p><p>“So, how goes it, Oz?” Buffy asked.</p><p>“I’m on my way to enroll back in school.  That help?”</p><p>“Most definitely.  Is Willow still in there?”  </p><p>“No, portal broke up, but she said she’d talk to you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Okay, Tara and I are going dress-shopping.  I’m getting married.  Did she tell you?”</p><p>“Yeah, I heard that Spike succumbed to the Dark side of the Force.  His point of view, anyway.”</p><p>“Did Willow really say Spike did it out of his own free will?  She’s come a long way.”  </p><p>“Is a long way,” Oz replied.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Oz.  I know it’s hard that she isn’t here right now.  I mean, she’s not even going to be at the wedding.  Can you believe that?”</p><p>“I wanted to take her out tonight and show her the moon,” Oz said.</p><p>“I-isn’t tonight the night after the full moon?” asked Tara hesitantly.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s the part where I get to come back.  I can keep from wolfing out now, uh, blonde girl.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Tara, this is Oz.  Oz, this is Tara.  She’s a witch and goes to school with us and is now an official Scooby.”</p><p>“It’s n-nice to meet you.  I’ve heard a lot about you.”</p><p>“I’m remembered.  Good to know.”</p><p>“Oz, that is so great about the wolf cure thing.  I guess it justifies the whole leaving and breaking her heart thing and the other wolf thing.”</p><p>“Buffy: sure to bring up the bad memories.”  </p><p>Oz seemed properly chastised and Buffy considered her best friend chastisement duties fulfilled.</p><p>“Sorry, we’ll just leave the memories alone.  Ooh, chance for new memories!  We’re having a Scooby meeting here at seven to discuss the latest Commando threat.  Wanna come?”</p><p>“Sure.  I’m going to talk to Devon about a place to stay, but then, I’m ready to resume Scooby-duty.”</p><p>“Okay, see you then.”</p><p>*****</p><p>Not very promptly at seven, Buffy, Spike, Giles, Tara, Oz, Anya, and Xander were gathered in Giles’ living room to discuss the other huge happening of the time.  Buffy, from a comfortable perch atop Spike’s lap, related her findings of the night before, backtracking a little for Oz’s benefit.</p><p>“Okay, so we know that for a while now there have been Commando like guys sneaking around campus at night, using pretty stiff technology to capture demons.  Capture, not kill, which looks shady from the get go.  Then a couple of months ago, Spike was captured by these guys and woke up in an underground lab.  After escaping, he found that he was unable to feed or hurt any humans.  They’d put a chip in his brain.  Being desperate and rather pathetic, Spike came to us for help and told us about the Commandos, very reluctantly, I might add.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, pathetic, is it?  Well, not so pathetic that I’d tell you information so you’d stake me after I wasn’t any more use.”</p><p>“Still not of use.  I would gladly stake the Resident Evil Undead over there.”  Despite the menace of the words, Xander’s tone was without malice.</p><p>“Getting off-topic, Xan,” said Buffy firmly.  “Now, so far that’s all we knew.  But last night Spike and I split up on patrol.  I was in the cemetery closest to the campus when I was practically knocked over by three vamps apparently fleeing for their lives, which, by the way, irks me to no end.  Hello, I am the Slayer!  It’s my job to handle demons and even then, I’m not so cruel as to try and experiment on them, though if Spike were willing, I could think of some…” Buffy’s voice trailed off as she remembered where she was.  Her face turned bright red and so did everyone else’s except Spike.</p><p>“Okay, officially disgusted.  And who’s off-topic, very, very off-topic?” asked Xander.</p><p>“Um, well, the point is that the government is overstepping its bounds.  So, these vamps practically run over me, I slay one and there’s this bright taser-gun flash and a vamp goes down.  I knock the other one and dust it, and this guy pushes me out of the way and tries to do something to the tasered one.  I didn’t see what cause I staked the vamp and trapped the guy and guess who it is, Riley!”  Buffy’s impressive tones obviously left no impression on her audience and she remembered that nobody but Willow had ever really met him.  “He’s at school with us; we sorta had a thing, like a picnic thing.  But that was so pre-Spike.”  </p><p>Spike stiffened, but said nothing.</p><p>“Oh, Teutonic-guy.”  Understanding had dawned on Xander.</p><p>“The big news is that we know the Commandos now.  They’re actually called the Initiative and my psych professor is the head of it.”</p><p>“But, Buffy, what makes you think he’ll tell you anything?  I applaud your efforts, it is good that we know who they are, but secret government programs are hardly likely to reveal their secrets to a freshman, Slayer or no, assuming they know what that is.”</p><p>“Giles, I had a pretty long talk with Riley.  I mean, he wasn’t exactly forthcoming, but he let a lot spill before he realized it.  He said that he would work on if I could get entrance to scope out their operation.  Do some stealthy Slayer sneakage on them.  That way we have an in to see if they’re up to something evil.”</p><p>“Why don’t we just send 'the Big Bad' in there and see if they stake him?  If they don’t, we’ll know they’re evil.”  Xander smiled at his idea.</p><p>“Hardly helpful advice,” said Spike.  “You’re conveniently forgetting they’re the ones who shoved this bloody chip up my brain in the first place.  Don’t think they want me dead, just tortured.”</p><p>“Hey, they sound great.  Let’s join them.”</p><p>“Honey,” interrupted Anya, “I know that you miss your Army days when you were useful, but joining the evil, ex-demon hunters is not going to help our relationship or earn you any orgasms.”</p><p>“G-getting back to s-some semblance of a point,” said Tara.  “A-as much as I-I enjoy little s-spats between S-Spike and Xander, I-I'm anxious to find out more about the government d-demon-hunters.  T-They give me the c-creeps.”</p><p>“Yeah, I wanna get back to the guys who experiment on my kind.  I figure they won’t be too keen on werewolves.”</p><p>“That is what I was coming to,” said Buffy.  “No one can be alone at night, especially not on patrol.  Oz and Spike are the ones they’ll look for first, especially Spike cause they know about him and aren’t too happy about his not being with them anymore.  But this applies to me and Tara and Anya.  Even Giles.  I know we’re all strictly human, but I don’t know these guy’s views on magic or ex-demon being, so we have to be careful.  Oz, do you have someplace to stay yet?”</p><p>“No, Devon didn’t have room till tomorrow.”</p><p>“Maybe, Giles, he could stay here?  Or with you, Xander?”</p><p>“Hey!”  Anya obviously wasn’t thrilled with that aspect.  </p><p>Xander blushed.</p><p>“We kind of had romantic plans.”</p><p>“We were going to light candles and have sex near them,” stated Anya proudly.</p><p>“Well, we wouldn’t want to cut into that seven and a half minutes,” said Spike sarcastically.</p><p>“Hey!” cried Xander and Anya together.</p><p>“Spike!  Not helping.”  Buffy gave him a Slayer death glare and then turned to Giles.</p><p>“Do you think Oz could stay here?”</p><p>“Of course, Buffy.  He could sleep on the couch, I’m sure Spike would love to resume sleeping in the bathtub.”</p><p>“Oi, I’m not sleeping there.”</p><p>“I’ll take Spike with me tonight, Giles.  And don’t argue, Spike, I won’t let you worship me.  In fact, I’m planning other goddessy commands for you, like actual helping with the wedding!”  </p><p>Spike closed his mouth and looked properly chastised, though he did smirk wickedly at Xander when Buffy turned away, probably thinking she couldn't see.  She rolled her eyes and Xander turned the proper shade of green.</p><p>***</p><p>“Keep the couch warm for me, Shorty,” Spike called to Oz.</p><p>“Must be hard to leave it, so I’ll do my best; see that it doesn’t get lonely for you.”</p><p>“You know, come to think of it, I’m not too sure I want to leave my couch under your tender mercies.  Not too happy with you, Dog Boy, over the whole Gem of Amarra business.”</p><p>“I like crossbows.”  Oz shrugged.  </p><p>Spike laughed and stuck out his hand.  Oz shook it and was initiated into the small group of people that Spike actually liked.</p><p>“Just don’t point them at me and we’ll playact at getting along, yeah?”</p><p>“Right,” agreed Oz, suddenly willing to let go of the past, which was hard, considering the whole kidnapping Willow and trying to turn her deal.</p><p>“Ready to go, Goldilocks?”  Spike turned to Buffy.</p><p>“Lead the way, Big Bad Papa Bear.”</p><p>“It’s a good thing you tagged on the Big Bad part, Slayer or I might have had to bite you.”</p><p>“Please don’t try, I’m not really in the mood for nursing one of your 'Big Bad' migraines.”  </p><p>Their bickering faded into the night as Giles closed the door after them.</p><p>“So, Spike,” said Oz.</p><p>“Spike,” said Giles.</p><p>“She looks happy.”</p><p>“She is.”</p><p>“I’m sensing misgivings.”</p><p>“It’s rather complicated, Oz.  I’m trying to give it a chance; I suggest you do the same before your head explodes trying to deny it.”</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind.”</p><p>“Suffice it to say, until Willow gets back we won’t know anything for certain.”  </p><p>Oz nodded and then went to the couch, aching for the day when she would get back.</p><p>*****</p><p>The next afternoon Buffy was alone at Giles' apartment.  He’d gone out shopping for necessities and Wheatabix.</p><p>Oz was registering for classes and she’d left a protesting Spike at her dorm telling him to sleep during the day like a normal vampire.  For a while, she tried doing her homework but ended up finalizing some last minute wedding stuff.  It was next week and, as always, unexpected Slayage had put a crimp in her planning.</p><p>Behind her came two sharp cracks and a blaze of silver light as Willow’s figure materialized in the portal.  Buffy looked up unstartled, they’d all gotten used to Willow’s sudden entrances by now.</p><p>“Hey, Wills.  How ya doing?”</p><p>“Okay, not parades and cotton candy, but okay.  As exciting and demony as Arashmaharr is, I’m so ready to be home and sleep in my own bed.  Or has Spike been sleeping in it and I will never want to touch it again in my life?”</p><p>“None of that.  I get enough of it from Xander and Giles.  I don’t get it, why is everybody jumping all over me?  Giles dated a Romany gypsy whose people cursed my ex-boyfriend with eternal agony, Xander is dating a thousand year old ex-vengeance demon, you’re dating a werewolf.  All I'm doing is marrying a vampire.  Looks like we’re all freaks.  Speaking of which, spill about your little talk yesterday with Mr. Non-giving Out of Exclusive Information.”</p><p>“He knew you’d drag it out of me anyhow, I'm sure.”  Willow laughed.  “I need someone to talk to actually, and it needs to be you.  So, fasten the best friend helmet on and guide me through the relationship crash course.”</p><p>“Best friend helmet: check.  Shoot.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know where to start.  I’m so happy Oz came back to me.  And that’s all he’s been working for, to come back to me.”</p><p>“But how’d he stop with the wolf thing?  Impossible as far as I knew.”</p><p>“Believe it or not, in Tibet.  He went to these monk guys and they taught him all these meditation mantras and gave him smelly herbs.  He can even change when he wants and control the wolf slightly when he’s changed.  Use its strength and scenting, but without the whole 'no reason and trying to kill your girlfriend' part.”</p><p>“Okay, the Slayer in me is going, ‘yay team, vital asset added.’  The Buffy in me is just happy for you both.”</p><p>“Not as happy as I am; it’s almost like the pain went poof just like I wanted it to.  And he said the only reason why he didn’t let me know where he was is because it was part of the treatment.  The monks told him the only way to restrain the wolf was to cut off its supply of the things that bring it out in him.  Like being afraid of hurting me or anger or other werewolves.  So he couldn’t think about me or us here or talk to us, or it would have distracted him.  He said-” Willow looked down at her hands “-he said it was the hardest thing he’s ever done.”</p><p>“Wow, Oz can be sweet.  Who knew?  Oh, wait, everyone.  The guy is perfect for you, Will.  Now I don’t want to bring up past uglies or anything, but what about the Veruca deal?”</p><p>“Oh, so over that.”  Buffy shot Willow a look.  “Okay, so I’m not happy about it.   But I know the only reason he was attracted to her was because she was like him, but he doesn’t like that part of himself.  And he loves me, more than anything.  I also know the only reason he did anything with her was to keep her from hurting anyone.  Besides, the whole Xander thing kind of keeps my righteous anger from speaking up too much.”  </p><p>Buffy smiled.</p><p>“So it sounds like all’s well in Willow-land.”</p><p>“Well, with Oz, yeah, but he did have some worries about me that he brought up.  I’ve been dealing with those all night.”</p><p>“What kind of worries?”</p><p>“Magic worries.  He thinks I’m heading into dangerous redheaded-witch-eating shark infested waters.  And he’s right.  The whole 'my will be done' spell showed me that; that and the banishment to a hell dimension.  Kind of puts it into perspective for me, you know?  He was sort of worried about me before my attempted cursing of him and now with this, he told me I have to get a handle on it.  Even if I had to go out and find it, like he did.”</p><p>“I hate to say it, Will, but I agree.  This last spell worried all of us.”</p><p>“I know.  And don’t worry, there will be many cookies a’ baking when I get back.  But I’ve been thinking and I talked with Oz and I realized something about myself.  I depend on magic to get me out of sticky jams, ones I get myself into.  I know I’m not that adept yet, but already I’m way less of a person because of it.  Can you believe I even use magic to do my homework?”</p><p>“Willow!  That’s serious.  You would never let anyone else even touch your homework.  It’s that bad?”  </p><p>Willow grimaced.</p><p>“That bad.  I just like being in control, you know?  Knowing I have the power, I’m gonna win cause I got all this magic on my side.  Like I’m not geeky, shy Willow, the Slayer’s sidekick.”  Buffy started to protest, but Willow went on.  “But I’ve come to the conclusion that I just grab raw power wherever I can find it, no matter what kind.  I don’t know how to use it and it keeps hurting you guys.”</p><p>“We know you never meant to hurt us.”</p><p>“That’s the problem.  Who care about my intent?  I can’t use my inability to let you all make your own decisions risk your lives just cause I feel like I’m failing.  That’s why I’m trying really hard to be okay about Spike.”</p><p>“Well, thanks for that anyway.”</p><p>“So new and improved me is coming home to work hard at learning stuff, not how to do spells, but what magic really is and what it should be used for.  Oz is gonna teach me some meditation stuff and Giles and Tara are going to work with me on building up my power properly and restraint and how to be a good witch, I guess.  Looks like I’m going to Hogwarts.  You think Giles would be mad at me if I called him Dumbledore?”</p><p>“I don’t know.  He might need a break.  Spike has taken to calling him Dad lately and I don’t think poor Giles can take it much longer.”  </p><p>Willow giggled.</p><p>“I can’t wait to come home and witness it all first hand.”</p><p>“Me too.  Can’t wait for you, I mean.  I’m already here.”</p><p>“Caught that, Buff.”</p><p>“You’ll be at the wedding, right?  You know the time and all?  Open the portal in my back yard, not here?”</p><p>“I got it all down, Buffy.  I’m All-Efficiency Willow, just waiting to prove I can and will show up on time at the right place.  Oops, portal’s getting weak.  Gotta go.  Love you.”</p><p>“Love you, too, Will.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day of the wedding dawned dark and cloudy and really all, though there was some denial, were relieved that the ceremony would not feature a spontaneously combusting groom.  Said groom was pacing up and down in Buffy’s basement, running his fingers through his hair.  Sitting on the stairs, watching Spike with something between a frown and a grin on his face, was Xander.</p><p>“Could you sit down for a minute?  You’re making me nervous.”  </p><p>Spike glared at Xander before coming to a stop and fumbling through the pockets of his duster lying on the banister.</p><p>“I’ve bloody well got to do something.  It’s not fair.  I can get ready in twenty minutes and then have to spend the rest of the sodding day in the basement while she takes her sweet time about it.”  </p><p>Spike found his cigarettes and lit up, relieved to have something to do with his hands.</p><p>“Uh-uh, no cigarettes, Bleach boy.  Buffy said no.”</p><p>“Oh and life is all about what she wants, innit?” Spike inquired sarcastically, but still stomped the cigarette out.  </p><p>Oz came down the steps looking a tad uncomfortable in his groomsman suit.</p><p>“You should see it up there.  Be glad Buffy incarcerated you down here.  Less noise.”</p><p>***</p><p>Upstairs in Buffy’s room, she was standing in front of the mirror while Tara fastened her dress and Anya messed with her makeup.  Joyce bustled in and out of the room, taking care of last minute details and trying not to hug Buffy.</p><p>***</p><p>The backyard was decorated with flowers and chairs set up to face an arch where the ceremony would take place.  It was to be a small wedding, but a lot of the guests had arrived.  A few of Joyce’s friends, the survivors of the Class of 99’, some relatives and college buddies, plus a couple of demon friends of Spike’s, who, to their credit, tried their best to look human and stay in the background.  Food was being set up on long tables to the side and Oz and Devon had directed the set up of a mini stage where Dingoes Ate My Baby would play for the reception.</p><p>Giles had been given the task of keeping the guests happy until it was time to start.  He wandered amid the myriad of differences, using his best British manner to conciliate any human/demon interactions.  Finally, Anya came down to tell him it was time for him to get Buffy.  He thankfully went into the house and Anya turned to the crowd of people and yelled over their conversations.</p><p>“Hey!  All of you, people and not people.  It’s time.  So sit down, be quiet, and no fighting anything that appears unusual to you.”  </p><p>The guests all found seats and waited while Devon started some music.  Willow’s portal opened up right by the arch and she wasn’t looking her best.  One set of human clothing had been mixed with some rather interesting demon fashions, but she managed to excite some interest in Oz anyway, who looked adoringly at her as he took his place beside Anya to come down the center aisle.</p><p>“You do know I wish you were Xander, right?” Anya made sure as they waited.</p><p>“Yes.  I’m strangely indifferent to the fact, though.  Weird, huh?”  	</p><p>Anya rolled her eyes.</p><p>*****</p><p>Inside, Buffy nervously opened the door to her room and stepped out to where Giles was waiting.</p><p>“Well, how do I look?”  </p><p>She twirled around and Giles looked at her with fatherly pride and smiled his appreciation.</p><p>“Buffy, why, you look lovely.  Very beautiful.”  </p><p>She smiled at him and gave him a hug.</p><p>“Thank you, Giles, for doing this for me.”</p><p>“Of course, Buffy; it’s my honor.”  </p><p>Sentiments done, she hopped a little in place.</p><p>“This waiting thing is so not my gig.  I don’t suppose there is something I can kill instead?”  She looked up hopefully.</p><p>“That’s exactly what Spike said, only with more ‘bloody hells’ and agitated pacing.”</p><p>“That’s my Spike for you.  Lover of violence and poster child for ADD.”  She laughed.  “So, is all ready out there?”</p><p>“Yes, everyone is just getting to their seats and then we’ll begin.”  Giles hesitated.  “I don’t wish to pry, Buffy, but I notice Angel isn’t among the guests.”  </p><p>Buffy shuffled her feet uncomfortably before answering.</p><p>“Yeah, I really didn’t wanna deal with the scenes that would rise from that happening.  I’d like to keep my groom simply undead rather than all the way dead.  Angel and Spike: not mixy things.  Besides, I promised Xander.  Even though I’m sure he would love to see Angel’s face when I marry Spike, Xander doesn’t want to see Cordelia.  I don’t particularly want to either and I definitely don’t want to see Angel.  I want this day to be perfect for me and Spike.  None of the demon carnage that normally fills my time at social events.”</p><p>“I understand.”  Giles smiled his assurance at her, knowing he himself wasn’t too fond of seeing Angel at anytime.  “Still, he’ll have to find out someday.”</p><p>“Oh, he will.  I promised Spike as soon as we take care of this Initiative stuff, we’ll drive down there and break - or in Spike’s case, flaunt - the news.”  </p><p>Tara called up the stairs to them to come down.  Buffy took Giles’ arm and they walked to the back door.  </p><p>***</p><p>At the arch, Spike watched impatiently as first Anya and Oz came down the aisle and then Tara.  Both girls looked beautiful in silvery, blue dresses that flowed in simple, straight lines.  </p><p>Spike turned to Xander and smirked at him. </p><p>“If you don’t close your mouth, mate, something might nest in there.”  	</p><p>But as Buffy came out the door, it was all he could do to not assume the same open-mouthed expression.  Only his vampire instincts kept his reputation intact; if it wasn’t shot to hell by now from the fact he was marrying the Slayer and all.  </p><p>Buffy’s dress was simple, strapless, and high-waisted.  It swung around her as elegantly as any southern belle’s and her hair was pinned so he thought it looked like a cloud of golden sunshine hanging in ringlets down her back.  She looked vulnerable and tiny walking down that aisle, but he knew the truth.  She was power and vitality and courage and she was his.</p><p>Giles placed her hand in Spike’s and then sat down by Joyce in the front row.  </p><p>The minister stepped forward.</p><p>“If any of you here know of any just reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.”  </p><p>Buffy and Spike’s heads swiveled as one to glare at the Scoobies, daring them to say anything.  They remained properly hushed and the minister continued.  </p><p>Buffy and Spike had chosen to say the traditional vows as a testament to the fact that it would be the only thing traditional about them.  Then the minister called for the rings.  Tara handed Buffy Spike’s ring, a plain white gold band.  Xander gave Spike Buffy’s ring, a vivid contrast to the skull and bones engagement ring.  It was also white gold with diamond chips sprinkled on the band and a slightly raised flower shaped diamond in the center.  Spike grinned because Buffy was still unsure as to how he had procured it.</p><p>“As testified by these rings and your love for each other, in the presence of these witnesses and by the power invested in me by the state of California, I now pronounce you husband and wife.  You may kiss the bride.”  Spike cupped her cheek in his hand before bringing his lips to hers, gently and lovingly, but promising her with his eyes, of more passionate embraces to come later.  “I present to you Mr. and Mrs. William Summers.”  </p><p>They turned, grinning and smirking respectively, and walked down the aisle.  Tara and Xander followed, then Anya and Oz.  The band sent a rousing chorus after them and the guests followed.</p><p>***</p><p>Buffy and Spike were surrounded by their guests and they tried to get pictures with them all.  After all, in Sunnydale, you never knew who wouldn’t be there tomorrow.  Anya managed to straighten the swarm into some semblance of a receiving line, strictly on her powers of intimidation.</p><p>“Clem, how are you, mate?  Buffy, this is Clem.  We play poker together.”  </p><p>Buffy smiled at the floppy-eared, over-skinned demon who grabbed her in a big hug.</p><p>“Any friend of Spike’s is a friend of mine.  Even the Slayer.  So you don’t by any chance happen to have a thing for kittens, do you?” the harmless looking Clem asked nervously.</p><p>“Um, not particularly,” the confused Buffy answered, looking at Spike for help.  </p><p>He just shook his head and moved Clem along before turning to their next guest.  </p><p>“Harm, what the bloody hell are you doing here?” </p><p>“Spikey, just cause I hate you, doesn’t mean I would miss your wedding.”  The blonde vampress flipped back her long hair and turned her attention to Buffy.  “Buffy, you look…nice.  Really nice.”</p><p>Buffy smiled dangerously.  </p><p>“Harmony, if you bite any of my guests, I will stake you.”  </p><p>Harmony tried to laugh bravely, but obviously decided to go and pout before the dancing started instead.</p><p>“Hello,” said the next guest, rather nervously.</p><p>“Jonathan, how are you?  Happy?”  </p><p>The short geek laughed and looked anxiously in Spike’s direction before answering.</p><p>“Don’t worry.  I-I haven’t come to shoot anyone, even myself.  I’ve got this whole therapy thing going on for me.  It’s, uh, going really well.  I’m supposed to surround myself with people and help anyone I can, especially people with important jobs and so on, so I thought ‘hey, wedding of the Slayer,’ good idea, right...?” His voice trailed off.  </p><p>Buffy smiled at him, sensing his real request.  It kind of threw her a bit. </p><p>“Well, you know you can always help us out if you need people.  You’ll be in danger all the time and we can be downright nasty, but, hey, join the club.”</p><p>“Thanks, I’d like that.”  Jonathan smiled brightly.  “I have this friend of mine I’d like you to meet sometime.  I think he needs…direction, in the right direction, of course.”  </p><p>“Sure, nerd-meeting at my house, well, Giles’ house, well, apartment.  Oh, sorry about the nerd thing.”  Buffy winced.  </p><p>Jonathan shook his head and with obvious therapy-gained maturity responded graciously.</p><p>“Hard to get over the habits of high-school, huh?”  Buffy nodded.  “Well, anyways, congratulations.  You look good and happy and all that.”  	</p><p>Jonathan walked off to the food tables.</p><p>Oz took his place on the stage after a long talk with Willow at her portal.  She gave a happy wave to the couple and they waved back as the portal started to break down.</p><p>“The dancing is about to start.  The first dance is for the bride and the librarian man.”  </p><p>Giles glared at Devon, but followed Buffy to the space where dancing would happen.  The notes of <i>Wind Beneath My Wings</i> flowed into the air and the dancing was started.  </p><p>Hours later, the dancing had died down and the newlyweds changed into more comfortable clothing before bidding goodbye to their guests.  Xander and Giles gave Buffy ‘I might never see you again,’ hugs and, </p><p>“Happy Orgasms!” was Anya’s farewell.  </p><p>Tara and Joyce gave them both tight hugs and they received a chin up from Oz.  Then they left to stay the night at their new apartment, located near the campus and the butcher’s, before spending a few days away until Buffy had to get back to resume school.  The Scoobies would patrol in their absence.</p><p>***</p><p>“My Slayer duties had better not interfere with my wedding night or I will be seriously upset!”  </p><p>Spike laughed heartily at Buffy as they climbed out of the decrepit Desoto in front of their apartment building.</p><p>“I would never dare, that’s for sure.  I pity the Big Bad who tries to take anything away from you, love.”</p><p>“I recall a certain Big Bad trying rather hard to take things away from me and getting his butt kicked in the process.”  </p><p>Buffy coiled her arms around his waist, fingers inching under his shirt.</p><p>“Tut-tut, Slayer, manners.  Let’s get inside, shall we, without getting ogled by the neighbors?”</p><p>“You don’t care.  Betcha you’d love to show off what stuff you got.”</p><p>“Very much so, pet,” he replied with a leer.  “Still, I’d prefer to show you first.”</p><p>At the door they stopped.  Spike turned to Buffy and swept her a gracious bow and, taking her proffered hand, raised it to his lips in a courtly gesture.  As his lips brushed her knuckles, she shivered and a flash in his eyes showed he had noticed.  But he wasn't even started yet.  After opening the door, he swept her into his arms and, cradling her as precious, carried her over the threshold.  </p><p>He set her down inside, closed the door, and pulled her against him, crushing her lips to his, the force of the impact pushing him back till he was against the wall.  Buffy’s hands held him there as he explored her mouth, feeling it as if it were new.  The need grew too much and she moved her hands under his shirt, and he relished the feel of her fingers on his skin.  Spike broke from her lips just long enough to draw her to the bed, giving her every assurance of his love and passion.</p><p>***</p><p>Spike lay on his back in their bed, Buffy’s head pillowed on his bare chest, her fingers running over his skin, his hand playing with her hair.</p><p>“Happy, love?”  </p><p>Buffy heaved a sigh of contentment.</p><p>“Big yes.  Do you know what I love about vampires?”</p><p>“They don’t make a mess when they die?”</p><p>“Do so.”</p><p>“Dust is not a mess, pet.  Did you see the slime dripping off that chaos demon we killed last week?”</p><p>“Back to the point, Spike?  I’m trying to compliment you.”</p><p>“Far be it from me to disappoint you.”</p><p>“Disappoint you more like.  What I was going to say is that I love the no birth-control and the no waiting, but mostly I appreciate the stamina and imagination.”  </p><p>Buffy accompanied her compliments with a kiss that would’ve left a mere man breathless, Spike felt it nevertheless.</p><p>“Enjoy yourself, did you?”  </p><p>Spike curled his tongue behind his teeth and slowly blinked in a way designed to drive a woman mad.  Successfully, too, for Buffy smiled at him in response.</p><p>“It had its points.  You?”  </p><p>The last word was spoken a touch insecurely.</p><p>“Bloody amazing.  You’re bloody amazing.”  </p><p>Buffy relaxed at his words.</p><p>“Hmm, Spike?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Feeling tired?”</p><p>“Vampire here.  We stay up all night.”</p><p>“Well, if you’re bored, I could think of something for you to do.”</p><p>“All ears, Slayer.”  </p><p>Buffy grabbed his head and pulled it down to hers and kissing ensued frantically and lovingly.</p><p>“Love you, Buffy.  Love you so much,” he murmured between kisses.</p><p>“I love you, too, Spike.  Love you always.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first thing Buffy did when they got back was take a call from Riley letting her know he’d received permission from Professor Walsh allowing Buffy access to the Initiative.  They arranged for him to meet her there the next morning and give her the grand tour.  Buffy hung up the phone and turned to Spike who was trying his hardest to look like he was unpacking and not listening to both sides of her phone conversation.</p><p>“I just received a phone call.  Me, in our new apartment.  My first phone call as a married woman.”</p><p>“From someone who might very well turn out to be evil,” Spike reminded.  </p><p>Buffy rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Look who’s talking.  Oh, you’re just jealous I’m not going to stay all day indoors with you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Point.”  He slipped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.  “But I don’t trust those wankers.  And neither should you.  I know you can take care of yourself, but be prepared, k’ love?”</p><p>“I promise, Spike.”</p><p>***</p><p>“Prepared is right,” muttered Buffy in awe as she stepped into the cavernous main area of the Initiative the next day.  “This place is giganimous,” she said to Riley who smiled with pride.</p><p>“It’s the most up to date facility in the world.  The government figured they should spare no expense for the only geographical location with a- what do you call it?  Hellmouth.”</p><p>“Guess you guys didn’t get the memo about the one in Cleveland.”</p><p>“There’s one in Cleveland?  Is it worse than here?  Maybe I-” Riley was cut off by the approach of Professor Walsh.</p><p>“Finn.  Miss Summers, welcome to the Initiative.  Let me remind you that this is a private military organization and you are not authorized to reveal anything you may learn in here.  Understood?”</p><p>“Uh, sure.”  Buffy fidgeted nervously, “Um, do I need to salute you?”</p><p>Riley and Professor Walsh exchanged a look and Buffy felt very small.</p><p>“No, that will not be necessary.  Please follow me.”  Professor Walsh led them toward the pit in the center of the room past a door labeled ‘Authorized Personnel Only.’</p><p>“So, what’s in there?” Buffy asked.</p><p>“Exactly what it states, Buffy.  Something only authorized personnel need to know about.  A lot of important and potentially dangerous research goes on in this facility.  The less important research is conducted right here in this pit.”  </p><p>Buffy leaned over the edge and looked with surprise and a little disgust at the number of demons being operated on in the pit.  She followed Professor Walsh thoughtfully through the rest of the tour of expensive-looking gadgets and useless looking guns.  Once more at the door, Professor Walsh handed her a file folder.</p><p>“This is for you to look over.  It can’t be removed from the facility, however, as it contains confidential information about us.”  </p><p>Buffy nodded and leafed through the papers, noting it was mostly mumble jumble info about vampires and various other demons she knew more about than they ever would, and recruitment sheets and restrictions.</p><p>“Well, thanks for the tour and everything.  It was great, full of fun facts to know and…not tell.”</p><p>“Now you know all about us, Miss Summers.  But we would love to know more about you as well.  I confess, we thought the Slayer was a myth.”</p><p>“Well, you were myth-taken,” said Buffy, then dropped her head, knowing that, even for her, that was a bad pun.  </p><p>Professor Walsh apparently agreed, but ignored it.</p><p>“Yes, well, frankly, we’d all love a demonstration of your abilities.”</p><p>“Okay, I guess.  Now?”</p><p>“No, most of our troops are out at the moment securing a Polgara sub-terrestrial.  I know they’d like to be here and, in fact, I need to send Agent Finn out there now to take command of the operation.  Perhaps tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yup, works for me.”</p><p>“Wonderful.  I know both of us have class tomorrow morning, so how about directly after the test I know you haven’t studied for?”</p><p>“Right, that test.  I’ll be here, right after that test, yeah.”  </p><p>Buffy turned red and handed the papers to Riley before leaving to go home.</p><p>***</p><p>Later that night, Buffy and Spike walked hand in hand to Giles,' to update everyone on the Initiative.  When they arrived, they found Giles working with Tara in the kitchen, Xander and Anya smooching on the couch, and Oz in earnest conversation with Willow in the portal.</p><p>“Hey, guys, we’re home,” Buffy called out cheerfully.</p><p>“Buffy, you’re not dead!”</p><p>“No, Xan, I’m not dead.”  </p><p>Tara came in and smiled warmly at the two newlyweds.</p><p>“How was your t-trip?”  Then with a devilish glint in her eye.  “Stray too far from the hotel?”</p><p>“Feeling jealous, Glinda?” Spike teased.  “If you wanted to tag along, all you had to do was ask.”  </p><p>Buffy slugged Spike hard in the arm.</p><p>“Ow, Slayer.  What was that for?”</p><p>“For being a pig, Spike.”</p><p>“One of these days you’re going to call me something else, love.  In fact, I can think of several other things you’ve called me, just not in polite company.”</p><p>“Is that the sort of thing you don’t like me saying in public?”  Anya inquired of Xander, who fondly put his arm around her.</p><p>“Yeah, Ahn.  But whereas Spike just hints, you come right out and say.”  </p><p>Giles rolled his eyes before coming to give Buffy a hug and Spike a handshake.</p><p>“I’m glad you’re back safe.  Come on in, we got up a few snacks to welcome you home with.  And now that we’re all here, let’s hear what you’ve learned about our government friends.”</p><p>“Friends?  I thought they didn’t like us and hunted us down and we infiltrated them to learn how to stop them from being evil?” Anya said.  </p><p>A knock interrupted Anya’s inquiries and Oz opened it to reveal Jonathan and a nervously weight-shifting, nerdy looking guy.</p><p>“Hey, Oz.”</p><p>“Jonathan.”</p><p>“Can we come in?”  </p><p>Oz visibly sized Jonathan and the other guy up.</p><p>“Need an invite?  Sorry about the suspicion, but the last old classmate I saw tried to eat Willow.”</p><p>“Huh?  Oh, no, we’re human.”  So saying, Jonathan stepped in, followed by his friend.</p><p>“Hi, Jonathan.”</p><p>“Hi, Buffy.  I hope this is okay, us, just here and all.”</p><p>“Yeah, we’re about to do the boring exposition thing, but go ahead and pull up a sleeping bag and join the slumber.”</p><p>“This is Andrew, the guy I told you about at the wedding.”  </p><p>Various hellos echoed around the room.</p><p>“Greetings, fellow friends of Jonathan.  I am honored to participate with you in the bringing down of evil.  Even though, I myself, have embraced the Dark Side on occasion, I hope to rejoice solemnly with you all in the timely end of our newest common foe, but first, can I have something to eat?  I’m starving.”  </p><p>At Buffy’s surprised-looking nod of ascent, Andrew rushed over to the table and began chowing down on Giles’ and Tara’s hard work.</p><p>“Is he always like that?” asked Willow.  “All grand speech giving and munchy?”</p><p>“Uh, worse,” Jonathan apologized.  “I, just, well, I kinda am all that stands between him and sad attempts at being an evil genius.”</p><p>“Oh great, another helpless twonk to take care of.  Still, gives the whelp somebody to talk to.”  Spike smirked at Xander who glared at him.</p><p>“Buffy, do you think we could stake Spike so we can get the meeting going?”</p><p>“Yes to the meeting, no to the staking.  Okay, so I went to the Initiative today to figure out what they were up to.  Still don’t know cause they’re all secretive and hiding.  But I’m going back tomorrow to show them about Slayers and we’ll go from there.  Oh, and I don’t think Professor Walsh likes me.”</p><p>“Did she tell you that?”</p><p>“No, Anya, she didn’t.”</p><p>“Then how do you know?  Everyone here always tells everybody else when they don’t like them.”</p><p>“Well, we must be special then, pet.  Afraid the rest of the world is a mess of innuendo and lack of being forthright.”</p><p>“I see.  Well, that’s stupid.  We should change it.”  </p><p>Spike laughed.</p><p>“You can say that again.  Harris, your bird is a beautiful form of a woman.”</p><p>“Mind your own woman, Dead-boy, and leave mine alone!  Oh, did I just say Buffy was his woman?  Somebody kill me.”</p><p>“Happy to oblige, mate.”</p><p>“It’s a wonder to me how we ever save the world at all.”</p><p>“Giles is right,” said Buffy, jabbing Spike with her elbow.  “Let’s be focused, guys.  I didn’t get a ‘like you’ vibe from her, that’s all I know.  Which isn’t fair, I mean, I’m likeable.  I’ve got happy, Buffy cheerfulness and outgoing perkiness.  I didn’t beat her up or anything.  I don’t see why she wouldn’t like me.  I could be wrong, we’ll see.  But that’s basically my report other than to warn you guys to continue to watch yourselves.”</p><p>“Okay, meeting adjourned?”  Xander rubbed his hands together.  “I gotta go.  You know us working guys, construction early tomorrow.”</p><p>“And Demon-girl late tonight,” Spike murmured.  </p><p>Xander and Anya left and Oz walked Tara back to the campus after saying goodbye to Willow who blinked out after they left.  Jonathan dragged Andrew away from the food and they left with Andrew’s parting words.</p><p>“Good meeting, everyone.  Thanks for the food.  I learned a lot and feel much closer to you all.  We’ll be back tomorrow to receive our further instructions in the fight against evil.”  </p><p>This time is was Buffy who rolled her eyes before she and Spike headed home, leaving Giles alone wondering why he didn’t follow through on that grocer career. </p><p>***</p><p>When Buffy arrived at the Initiative the next day she found a whole slew of soldiers lined up in front of a bank of monitors.  Professor Walsh was standing by them next to a table with some equipment on it.</p><p>“Buffy, thank you for being prompt.  Please step this way.  An interesting thing happened this morning, quite fortuitous in our point of view.  Several of our most vicious HTs escaped through a vent early this morning.  Now, only a few have ever done so and we have recovered all of them except for Hostile 17 and these.  We hoped you could help us with the latter and at the same time demonstrate for us your abilities.  What do you say?”</p><p>“Okay, you got yourself a Slayer.”</p><p>“Excellent.  Now understand we will take every precaution to ensure your safety.  Here on this table you see a headphone set.  But it contains a camera and two-way radio, so we will be able to view everything from here.  It also monitors your heart rate.  Next to it is our newest model of your typical taser gun.  I understand you prefer to use older type of weaponry, but this will give you an advantage and also help to determine your safety.”  Buffy nodded in understanding.  Professor Walsh unfolded a map and they bent over it.  “Now, this here is the tunnel our sensors have shown the two to be hiding in.  There are several tunnels in and out with access gates that can open and close.  We will keep all of them open, just in case you need an escape route.  I will post two guards outside so that you have back up should you need it.  Clear?” </p><p>“So clear it’s crystal.”  </p><p>“All right then, let’s get started.”  </p><p>Buffy grinned in anticipation of slaying and started out wearing the headset and carrying the gun.  </p><p>***</p><p>As soon as Buffy had gone, Maggie Walsh nodded discretely to a lab attendant leaning over the railing.  He nodded back and disappeared into a small room.  A few seconds later a siren rang out and echoed in the vast room.  Every man snapped to attention.</p><p>“That’s a Code Red, men, prepare for action,” Riley called out.  “What’s happening, Professor?”  She had run to the upstairs railing and scanned a sheet the technician handed her.</p><p>“Hostiles 214, 21, and 80 have escaped.  Immediate recovery is essential.  Agent Finn, prepare your men for mobilization.”</p><p>“Are they escaping through the tunnels that Buffy is using?”</p><p>“Negative.  They are at the other end of the compound.  The Slayer is at no risk, Riley.”</p><p>“Right, men, let’s go.  Basic search and capture, kill only if absolutely necessary.”  </p><p>With that, the men who had lined up to watch Buffy slay had grabbed weapons and disappeared.  Maggie Walsh watched them go, then turned to the bank of monitors where Buffy was advancing, weapon at the ready.</p><p>***</p><p>Buffy walked slowly, senses tingling, down the tunnel.  She ducked under an overhanging part of the ceiling into a small intersection of tunnels.  	</p><p>A growl sounded behind her and she instinctively ducked, just in time to avoid having her head chopped off by a six foot tall, scaly demon with three horns and an axe.  Three other identical demons stepped out of the tunnels.  As they did, the gates smashed down behind them, trapping her in the tiny space with four demons.  Buffy flipped over their heads to the outside of the circle they had her in and grabbed the taser gun she had dropped when she was first attacked.  </p><p>She pulled the trigger and the gun exploded in her hands.  Buffy nearly dropped it in shock, but recovering quickly, used the hard butt she had left to ram into the first demon’s head, leaving it sticking out of his left eye.  He dropped to the floor and the other demons tripped on his body.  Grabbing one by its horns, Buffy swung him into the other two, then kicked his hand so the axe he held flipped upward out of his grasp.  She caught it as it came down and swung, cleaving his head from his body.  </p><p>A blow from behind caught her by surprise, Buffy fell hard and the axe went sprawling.  Flipping to her feet, she exchanged blows with one demon, using its weight to kick the other one off into the corner.  The larger demon grabbed her arm and swung her against the wall.  Stunned, Buffy fell to the floor and grasped the handle of the axe, turning, she ducked a claw swipe and sunk the axe into his stomach.  </p><p>Getting to her feet, Buffy faced the remaining demon.  She swung and he blocked, then his right fist caught the side of her head and slammed it into the wall.  He advanced on her and she swept a leg under his, toppling him to the floor.  Rolling out of the way, she grabbed a small knife hidden in her pant leg and stabbed him four times.  </p><p>Lying exhausted on the floor for a minute, Buffy got her bearings as realization dawned on her.  Getting up, she grabbed the top of one of the tunnels and swung, kicking her way through two of the bars.  Limping, she made her way up the tunnel, heading for Giles.’  </p><p>***</p><p>At the Initiative, Maggie turned away from the monitors, a look of disappointment on her face, but she sipped her coffee calmly.  </p><p>***</p><p>In the tunnels, a tall figure stepped out from the shadows where it had observed the fight.</p><p>“Interesting,” it said, before turning and walking down another tunnel, which it opened with a small remote clutched in a scaly, brown hand.  Its immense shadow followed it down the tunnel, footsteps ringing out metallically.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At Giles’ everyone was arguing.  Spike kept insisting that the Initiative were all evil and as soon as Buffy got back, they could prove it.  Xander said that was just because they were the cause of him not being a killer anymore.  It escalated until Spike jumped up and started pacing, throwing his arms in the air for emphasis.</p><p>“Would you just bloody listen to me?  This is the government we’re talking about here, Watcher, the American government.  All they care about is profit and bleeding efficiency.  Demon world is anything but efficient.  They are experimenting on demons, not killing them.  Anything with supernatural ability is a threat to them.  Buffy isn’t safe there.”</p><p>“No, none of us are,” said Buffy quietly as she came in the door.</p><p>“Buffy, what happened, love?”  Spike ran to her.  “You’re injured, what happened?  Glinda, ice now!”  </p><p>Tara hurried to the kitchen and Buffy sat down on the couch.  She smiled gratefully at Tara who handed her ice wrapped in a towel.</p><p>“Professor Walsh tried to kill me.”</p><p>“Why?” asked Giles.</p><p>“I don’t know.  She sent me after these demons who very conveniently, I guess, escaped.  The doors trapped me in there with them and the gun she sent with me exploded.  Guess my hunch on whether she liked me or not was dead on.  Emphasis on the dead.”  </p><p>“So, what now?  Do we get to kill her, cause she tried to kill you?  I think it’s what you call justice.”</p><p>“Not exactly the kind we’re supposed to deal out, Ahn,” Xander told her.</p><p>“Oh, shoot.  I haven’t killed anybody in a long time.”</p><p>“Be patient and I guarantee that you will, in self-defense.  The Initiative is up to something and we’re all in danger because of it,” Buffy said wearily.  </p><p>A frantic knocking occurred at the door.  Giles was nearest and opened it to reveal Riley in full Commando garb.</p><p>“Buffy, Buffy, are you okay?”</p><p>“Riley!  What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Well, somebody told me what happened.  You shouldn’t have done that, Slayer or not, Buffy.” </p><p>“Shouldn’t have what?  Stayed alive?  Gee, sorry to disappoint.”</p><p>“Shouldn’t have disobeyed orders and gone after those demons when you were told the mission was compromised.”</p><p>“Compromised by whom?  Nobody told me not to go, Riley.  Maggie tried to kill me!”</p><p>“What?  No, not possible.”</p><p>“The gun exploding and the door slamming down, trapping me with four very large, very nasty HTs, as you call them, would prove otherwise.”</p><p>“I can’t believe that, I won’t.”  Riley started pacing in distress.</p><p>“Believe it or not all you want, Soldier-Boy.  Slayer says it happened, it happened.”  </p><p>Riley stiffened as he caught sight of the speaker.</p><p>“Hostile 17!  That’s Hostile 17, what on earth is it doing here?”</p><p>“He happens to be my husband, and I’ll thank you to mind your own business.”</p><p>“That’s Spike?  He’s a vampire, Buffy.  You married a vampire!”  </p><p>Buffy turned toward Spike in mock horror.</p><p>“Honey, is it true?  You’re a vampire!  Oh, oh, whatever shall I do?”  Then she turned back to Riley in what Spike called her 'serious, outraged Slayer' mode.  “Of course, he’s a vampire, Riley.  Only vampires get named Spike, or William the Bloody, come to think of it.”  Spike shifted uncomfortably at this, but said nothing, preferring to glare at Riley.</p><p>“Buffy, we’ve been searching for him for months, and all along the Slayer of vampires has been hiding him.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve been hiding my husband from the vicious monster-hunters who experimented on him.  What of it?”</p><p>“It’s a monster.”</p><p>“Oi, watch who you call monster, mate.  I may be a killer, a demon, and a predator, but at least I never tried to experiment on my victims to see if I could exploit them for money.”</p><p>“That is not what we do.  We-”  </p><p>Buffy interrupted him.</p><p>“What exactly do you do?  Kill anyone who might be in your way?  Maggie tried to kill me because she didn’t want me to know something.  Do you know what it is, Riley?  Are you involved in this?”</p><p>“No, we’re not doing anything wrong.  We’re the good guys.  I can’t believe she would do that.  It has to be a misunderstanding.  I have to go and find out what really happened.”</p><p>“Fine, but you breathe one word about Spike and I will hunt you down and make you live to regret it.  You have the word of the Slayer on that.”  	Riley took a step backwards.</p><p>“I won’t tell.  For now, and only because he’s under your guard.”</p><p>“One thing more.  How did you know where I was?”  </p><p>Riley looked embarrassed and stuttered a reply.</p><p>“Well, I-I, I tracked you.”  </p><p>Buffy turned to him with a dangerous look on her face.</p><p>“With what?”</p><p>“Professor Walsh had a tracking device put on you yesterday.”</p><p>“Where?”</p><p>“Palm of your hand.  It was in the file folder.”</p><p>“Get it off me, now!”  Buffy’s voice was icy to the extreme and Riley hastened to obey.  They all watched as he removed a tiny, black speck from her hand.  “Anything else you guys decided to do to me?”</p><p>“Nothing that I know of.”</p><p>“Right, here’s something for you to remember.”  Riley stiffened at the tone in her voice and anger seemed to pour off Buffy in waves.  “How dare you invade my privacy like that!  You may be the government, but I am the Slayer and you’re on my turf.  If I find out that you or any of your Initiative pals are infringing on anymore of my rights, I will do worse to you than hunt you down.  I may have special powers, but I’m human and once more, I’m Buffy.  Now get the hell out of this house and don’t come back until you’ve realized what scum you work for.”  </p><p>Riley walked out and Giles shut the door behind him.  </p><p>“Way to go, Buffster!  That’s showing him.  He looked petrified,” Xander cheered.</p><p>“Anyone would look petrified of my girl,” Spike said proudly, putting his arm around her shoulders.  </p><p>She smiled up at him and then turned serious.</p><p>“We’re still all in danger.  Giles, what should we do? They know where I live, they know where you live.  They could be coming for us.”</p><p>“What about my basement?  They don’t know about the dank Pit of Despair, do they?” Xander asked in a cracked, hoarse voice, obviously impersonating something.  Blank looks were his reward.  “Am I the only one who saw <i>The Princess Bride</i>?  Come on, people, it’s a classic!”</p><p>Of course Spike had seen it and loved it, but he wasn't going to give Xander the pleasure of knowing that.  </p><p>Giles snorted and removed his glasses.</p><p>“I refuse to run from them.”</p><p>“Giles, you just don’t want my basement.  I’m hurt.  I live there, you know.  Every day in fact.”</p><p>“Giles, we all need to be safe.  Now as soon as it’s sunset, we’ll go.  Also, no one is to patrol except me, Spike, and Oz.  I know we’re all especial targets, but we’re also the ones that can best defend ourselves.  We all go out together, no one by themselves.  Oh, and I guess we better warn Jonathan and that other guy.  They were probably seen with us, and we don’t want to get them in trouble.”</p><p>“Party at my house, with nerds even.  Can’t you see the dance of joy?”</p><p>“You’re one measly step up from being a nerd yourself.  Better not gloat too much.”</p><p>“Shut up, Spike.”</p><p>***</p><p>At the Initiative, behind the Authorized Personnel sign, in a room marked 314, Maggie Walsh worked over a sheet clad form, lying on an operating table.  She talked to it as she worked.</p><p>“A set back is all today was.  I know just the thing to fix her.  My favorite child.  Adam.  You’ll be done in a few minutes and then I’ll have a job for you.”  She turned away, putting her instruments on the table.  All of a sudden, she gasped in shock and pain and looked down to see a skewer through her chest.  Maggie turned her head in terror and whispered, “Adam?”</p><p>“Yes, Mother.  I will do your job for you.  You made an admirable test run of my abilities.  Thank you.”  </p><p>The former Psychology professor and Head of the Initiative dropped to the floor and Adam left the room through an air vent.</p><p>***</p><p>The party continued at Xander’s basement with the added Jonathan and Andrew who looked scared out of their wits and seemed interested only in comparing the situation with some James Bond movie.  It was decided between Buffy, Spike, and Giles that somehow they had to get into the Initiative to find out what was going on.  Spike was out of the question to go as he was Enemy Number One to them and would be unable to defend himself.  Finally, it was decided that Buffy and Xander would dress appropriately and infiltrate the Initiative the next day.  	</p><p>Meanwhile, Tara and Anya had been arranging the sleeping arrangements.  Boys on one side of the curtain, girls on the other.  The basement was miserable and tempers were short.  One by one, people joined the pact to kill Andrew, who sat on the beanbag, alternating between audibly wishing he was evil and complaining about the lack of entertainment.  Jonathan sat beside him, obviously trying to garner as much of Andrew’s attention to himself as possible - thus earning everyone's gratitude - by asking what Andrew’s favorite Indiana Jones movie was.  Everyone else settled in for the night.</p><p>***</p><p>Xander shuffled nervously from foot to foot on the way into the Initiative, shooting sidelong glances at Buffy until she couldn’t stand it any longer.</p><p>“Would you stop it already?  Anyone who looks at you can tell you’re not a real soldier.”</p><p>“Hey, used to be one here.”</p><p>“For a total of an hour at most.  Xan, just pretend that everything is fine.  We can’t do this if you keep looking all shifty.”</p><p>“Doing my best, Buff.  But this place gives me the wiggins.”</p><p>“You and me both, but we have to put that away in a special place and come back to it later, okay?”</p><p>“Yes, ma’am!”</p><p>“Xander!”</p><p>“What?  You said be all soldier-y.”  </p><p>They nonchalantly stepped out into the main area.  Walking quietly, they headed for the locked door, noticing the relative quiet of the vast organization.</p><p>“Something’s up,” said Buffy softly as they reached the door.  They hung back until a man in a white smock unlocked the door and then swiftly snuck in behind him.  They saw him unlock another door labeled 314 and followed him through that one as well.  Inside was a laboratory that smelled strongly of disinfectant.  Buffy grabbed the man’s arms and held them behind him in a tight grip.</p><p>“Okay, I want answers, Doctor-Man.  Why did Maggie want to kill me?”</p><p>“Personal vendetta,” the doctor managed to choke out.</p><p>“Hmm, well, in that case, I guess you’re innocent.  Maybe I’ll let you go.”  The doctor nodded, obviously relieved.  “Or maybe, I’ll make you take me to her so she can explain herself.”</p><p>“Maggie’s dead, Buffy.”  </p><p>Buffy turned and saw a weary looking Riley walking toward her.</p><p>“What do you mean, she’s dead?”  </p><p>“When I got back last night, they found her in here, impaled with something, looked like a stake-shaped hole to me.  Happy now?  Did you do it?”</p><p>“No!  I didn’t.  I may have been angry with her, but until I knew why, I would never have done something about it, let alone kill her.”</p><p>“Well, if you didn’t, who did?”</p><p>“Me.”  </p><p>Everyone looked up and was shocked at the sight that greeted them.  Well over six feet of monster stood on the ledge above them.  His face was half human, but half demon and metal. The rest of his body was the same mixture of parts.  His legs were covered in Army camouflage and his feet wore heavy Army boots.</p><p>“And who might you be?” asked Xander, nervously.  “Not scaly enough for Godzilla, not hairy enough for King Kong, some Frankenstein wannabe, I’m guessing.”</p><p>“Xander, be quiet,” Buffy hissed.</p><p>“My name is Adam.  Maggie Walsh designed me, created me from various creatures and objects, and had in mind for me a grand purpose.  But...”  He jumped down from the ledge “...it seems I have a design flaw.  I know perfectly well what I am, but what I would like to know is who I am.  And until I know this, I am not inclined to follow the perimeters set for me by my Mother.  Accordingly, I killed her.  But that did not satisfy my desires or my questions, so now I will have to find other ways to do so.  But don’t worry; I will not be gone long or that far away.”  </p><p>Adam turned to go, but Riley charged at him, obviously furious at the death of his mentor.  Without even turning around, Adam carelessly tossed his fist in the general direction of Riley’s face, and sent him flying, crashing across a table and into the wall.  The doctor tried to run and Adam extended his arm and a long skewer shot out of it and into flesh.  He fell to the floor, bleeding heavily as Buffy stared in horror.  </p><p>She attacked, but the monster blocked her at every turn and seemed to not feel her blows at all.  He knocked her flat on her face and Buffy felt dizzy from the impact.  Xander rushed the monster with no more effect than the others, gaining unconsciousness from his effort.  Riley lay on the floor, seemingly unable to move as Buffy got up to fight again.  But Adam wasn’t there.  Looking up, she spied him on the ledge and he looked down at her thoughtfully.</p><p>“This has been most interesting, thank you.”  </p><p>With that, he vanished into an air duct and Buffy turned to help the others.  Xander was okay, but would have a hefty lump on his head for a while.  Riley’s arm was broken and his left leg wouldn’t straighten out completely, add to that a sure concussion, and Buffy was amazed he was still conscious.</p><p>“Riley, you have to get out of here.  Don’t you see how dangerous it is?”  </p><p>Stubbornly, he shook his head.</p><p>“No, this is my home and I have to protect my family.  I agree something went wrong, but I’ll deal with it.  Go home, Buffy.”  </p><p>She gave him an exasperated glance before picking up Xander and heading out, bypassing people who had come running at the sounds of the fight.  Buffy didn’t stop until they reached Xander’s.  </p><p>As they entered, Anya gave a cry and ran toward Xander.</p><p>“Xander!  What happened?  I told him very clearly before he left he wasn’t allowed to be killed.  I’m going to be very angry with him.  Xander, wake up!”  </p><p>Buffy laid him on the couch and hurried to reassure the distraught woman.</p><p>“It’s okay, Anya, it’s okay.  He was just knocked out, he’ll be fine.” </p><p>Quickly, Buffy told everybody what had happened.  Obviously, no one was indifferent to the news.</p><p>“It’s just like the <i>Star Trek</i> episode where Kirk-” </p><p>Everyone blocked out the rest of Andrew’s comment, except perhaps for Jonathan.</p><p>“What are you going to do, Buffy?” Giles asked quietly.</p><p>“Be ready,” was all she could say.</p><p>***</p><p>The next few weeks were relatively quiet, but there were some interesting murders committed.  Upon viewing the remains, all Buffy could conclude was that Adam was doing some dissecting for scientific information on who he was.  </p><p>The Initiative remained on the down low, more secretive and protected than ever, but they were busily investigating Maggie Walsh’s secret projects and appropriating a new Head, as well as trying to figure out everything they could on Adam.  </p><p>Everybody moved into their own homes again and Spike and Buffy enjoyed a few honeymoon weeks before the inevitable happened.  The return of Willow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day before Willow’s arrival, Buffy arrived home from school to their apartment to find Spike setting up a huge TV.</p><p>“Spike!  Where on earth did you get that?”</p><p>“Didn’t steal it if that’s what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“Where did you get the money for that then?”</p><p>“If I tell you, you promise not to stake me?  I can only block your advances so long, you know,” he said with a leer on his face.</p><p>“Spike, I mean it.  Advances later.  Where’d it come from?”  </p><p>Spike sighed, and then beckoned for her to sit with him on the couch.</p><p>“Dad ever tell you about the crypt I found the Gem of Amarra in?”</p><p>“Not really, we were all sorta distracted by the you portion of that fiasco.”</p><p>“Let’s just say, everything in there would be worth a bloody fortune.  After you sent the ring to the poof, I went after it.  But not before I sealed up the crypt to make sure nobody else got their hands on it.  But after the LA business, which you know didn’t go well for any of us, though I really can’t say I’m too hung up about it, I was so angry when I got back here, that I forgot about the treasure.  Wasn’t until ol’ Rupes did his fatherly financial pressuring few months back that I remembered.  Popped back down there a while ago and bam, I’m an instant millionaire.  Well, we are.”  Buffy shook her head, flabbergasted.  “Well, say something, love.”</p><p>“I don’t know what to say.  It’s kinda like being half morally righteous and half girly.”</p><p>“Meaning?”</p><p>“Well, I’m not too certain how moral it is to take century old treasure as our source of income.  On the either hand, it isn’t easy for either of us to get a job and my mom can’t support us forever.  Plus, money equals lots of things Buffy can have.  Like shoes.”</p><p>“And what’s the Slayer’s decision then?”  </p><p>Buffy, honestly, did think hard about it before deciding.</p><p>“The money’s ours.  You did find it rightfully and nobody knows who it belonged to before.  You did good, honey.”</p><p>“Love being appreciated,” Spike said, kissing her neck.</p><p>***</p><p>That night they lay in bed, holding each other close.  Without saying it, both knew what the other was thinking, Willow might break the spell and then they would lose this.</p><p>“Spike, could you promise me something?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“If you go all evil, well, wanting to be evil - start actively being evil - tomorrow, could you please not fling our marriage in my face?”</p><p>“I could ask the same of you, love.”</p><p>“I know.  It’s just when Angel went evil, he spent the next, well, you know how long, just constantly mentally playing with my head to make me feel bad about our relationship.  It was like the worst torture I’ve ever known.”</p><p>“You know, Slayer, he was just trying to make himself feel better about what he did, because he believed it was a perversion.  Probably doesn’t make you feel any better, but I promise if the worst happens tomorrow, I won’t make fun of you, if you won’t of me.”</p><p>“That’s a deal.  And don’t try to kill my friends.”</p><p>“And don’t try to stake me.”</p><p>“Check, no staking,” she said sadly, clinging even tighter to him.  </p><p>“Buffy, even if it does happen, remember, I’m not Angel.  I might be disgusted with myself, I might leave and never come back, but I wouldn’t try to take out on you what neither of us could help.  I’m a fair fighter and I keep my promises, vampire though I may be.”</p><p>“I know.  So, how will we know?”</p><p>“If the spell’s broken?” Spike asked.</p><p>“If we need to break our promises, to make sure the other remembers that we have a truce of words and actions.”</p><p>“How about we say so, pet?”</p><p>“I don’t want to have a really hard conversation like that in front of everybody.”</p><p>“We’ll just say one word, love.  How about Acathla?  We have to say it to each other when the spell’s broke, otherwise, we’ll know that we’re going to be enemies.  Not to say that we could ever be anything but if this goes down, but at least that will be the signal not to kill each other or maim with our words, yeah?”</p><p>“Okay, we got ourselves another truce.”  </p><p>They lay there quietly for a while, just feeling each other’s presence.</p><p>“Spike?”</p><p>“Buffy.”</p><p>“If this is going to be our last night together, I want to remember it.”  </p><p>His answer was not in words, but neither of them had any cause to doubt they would remember that night. </p><p>***</p><p>A tense but happy group was gathered in Giles’ apartment.  Oz was pacing near the door, throwing what he knew were anxious glances at the clock.  Tara stood next to Giles, both wearing troubled expressions, looking at Buffy every so often.  Xander was torn between the joy of seeing Willow again and sorrow at the pain Buffy might soon be feeling.  Anya was feeling worried about Willow’s return, wondering whether Xander would pay as much attention to her now, but glad at the same time that she was coming back, so he wouldn’t be unhappy.  Jonathan and Andrew had been locked up in the bathroom and told not to come out until it was over; they spent the time having a mock light saber fight.  Buffy and Spike sat on the couch wrapped in each other’s arms, absorbed only in the other.  </p><p>***</p><p>A flash lit the room and there was a bang.  A glowing, blue light shaped like a tunnel formed by the door.  The shape of Willow appeared and walked through it into the room.  As she stepped through, the tunnel disappeared and Willow collapsed, Oz managing to catch her just in time.  </p><p>“Willow, Will, wake up, sweetie,” he called to her.  </p><p>She blinked and opened her eyes and smiled up at him.</p><p>“My head’s the right size, right?”</p><p>“It’s just the right Willow-size.”  </p><p>He smiled back at her with relief in his eyes.</p><p>“Didn’t mean to pull a faint on you guys, opening the door took more power than I knew I had.”  Willow got to her feet and hugged everybody in sight.  “I love being home!”</p><p>“We love you home, too, Will,” said Xander, squeezing her tight.  “You’re not allowed to go anywhere for a very long time, missie.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, I personally ground myself.  Oz will keep me company in the land of Willow-being in the same spot for a long time-ness, hopefully his bedroom, um-”  Willow turned red.  “Sorry, I haven’t had to censor my words in a while.”  </p><p>Xander winced and tactfully turned away.  </p><p>Oz smiled slightly.</p><p>“Gotta clear some boxes out.  But I think I can make room.”  </p><p>Despite the taciturn tone of his words, Oz hoped Willow knew he was deeply glad to have her back.</p><p>“Red, you look quite fetching, demon fashion’s quite nice on you.”  	</p><p>Willow blushed and looked down at her ragged clothing that included scales and feathers as well as some unidentifiable substances.</p><p>“I must look so ugh-y.  What I need is a serious bath and clothes, ooh and food.  When you’ve eaten nothing but baked potatoes, lemon meringue pie, and cold beef for the last six months; well, I started to dream about microwaves and apple trees.”</p><p>“Of course, Willow, forgive us.  You must be exhausted.  Buffy here thought to bring some clothes for you.  Tara and I just finished making some food, so why don’t you remove the boys you’ll find locked in the bathroom and have yourself a nice shower, and then we can eat and talk.”  </p><p>Giles ushered Willow down the hall and a few seconds later a rumpled Jonathan and Andrew came into the room.</p><p>“That was Willow?” Andrew asked in amazement.  “She looks like a bedeviled, rogue warrior Princess on a mission to save some sort of valuable person hostage from a fierce jungle tyrant!”  </p><p>Andrew was soon off in his own mind, making up a fabulous history for Willow, detailing all her adventures in the treacherous world of Arashmaharr, where she used her mighty magical powers to defeat many foes and save many lives, all the while resisting the lures of the evil tyrant to join him in his bloodthirsty reign of terror.</p><p>A short while later,Willow returned, clean and dressed in her own clothes.  Tara handed her a plate of food and Willow began to eat ravenously, while Oz sat close to her with his arm around the back of her shoulders.  Buffy sat curled in Spike’s lap in the armchair as he played with her hair.  Everyone else found various positions in the room and they recounted for Willow the past couple of weeks, including Adam’s latest attacks and the shortage of things to slay due to the Initiative picking back up under its new leadership.  Nobody wanted to talk about the thing they were all thinking.  </p><p>Finally, Anya broke the silence.</p><p>“Can Willow just break the spell so we can all be released from these interesting, yet disturbing feelings of tension?”  </p><p>They all looked uncomfortable, then Xander shifted.</p><p>“Yeah, Will, you think you could?  I’m kinda tired of being invisible.  Though it’s sort of special, in its own little way.”</p><p>“And I would appreciate not being blind for half an hour every morning,” said Giles softly.</p><p>“And-and-and Spike and I- we want to know the truth,” Buffy said, not meeting anyone’s eyes.  </p><p>Spike’s hands visibly tightened around her, but no one else moved.</p><p>“My power levels are a bit on the down side just now, but I’m sure this spell I could do in a jiffy,” said Willow, obviously trying to sound perky, and succeeding as only Willow could during a crisis.  </p><p>She stood up, handing her empty plate to Oz, who squeezed her hand encouragingly.  Buffy and Spike also stood wrapped in an embrace.  </p><p>Willow started off slowly, but built up volume and speed.</p><p>“Let the healing power begin,<br/>Let my will be safe again.<br/>As these words of peace are spoken,<br/>Let this harmful spell be broken.”  </p><p>A loud and bright lightning flash sounded in the room, there was a corresponding flash in Willow’s eyes.  The air shimmered around Xander and mist leaked out of Giles’ eyes.  Buffy and Spike stood still holding each other.  Willow finished.</p><p>***</p><p>Almost imperceptibly their hold tightened, then slowly they broke away from each other and looked into each other’s eyes.  It felt like the last few months were playing in reverse.  Everything they’d been through was relived before them and then the old feelings returned with a rush.  They stepped away from each other and Spike shook himself as if to rid himself of her influence.  Buffy looked up at him and through the fog of self hatred and loathing, she felt empty and remembered something.  </p><p>“Acathla?” Buffy questioned.  </p><p>Spike stood still for a moment and then laughed.</p><p>“Yeah, Acathla, Slayer.”  </p><p>Buffy stiffened and backed away even further, Spike did the same.  They stood for a few moments, just staring at each other.  Then Spike turned and stumbled toward the door.</p><p>“I can’t do this. You can have the apartment, I’ll manage.  I just bloody can’t do this.”</p><p>“Spike,” Buffy whispered and started forward.  </p><p>He whirled around in game face and snarled at her; she stopped in alarm, her eyes hardened but his features melted into human and he whispered softly.</p><p>“I’m sorry, love, but the Big Bad’s back.”  </p><p>Spike grabbed his duster and ran out the door.  </p><p>Xander and Giles looked at Buffy and started to move to the door.</p><p>“Buffy, I know this is hard, but he could be dangerous...maybe we should…”</p><p>“Don’t,” she said in a tight voice.</p><p>“But, Buff, he could-”</p><p>“Just don’t, all right?  He’s got the chip.  Let him go.”  </p><p>Tara moved to Buffy and put her arms around her as Buffy broke down and started to weep.  Willow sat beside her and stroked her hair as Giles and Xander looked anxious to help but seemingly couldn’t figure out what to do.  Oz and Anya just sat in silence, obviously figuring there was nothing to do.  Even the nerds were silent.  </p><p>***</p><p>Outside the door, Spike listened to Buffy crying.  A single tear fell down his face before he brushed it away and strode off into the night, needing a drink.</p><p>***</p><p>Two weeks later Buffy sat silently in Giles’ living room while the rest of the gang quietly discussed the little boy who had been found in the woods after Adam discovered him.  </p><p>Jonathan came over and sat down tentatively beside her.</p><p>“Buffy, Andrew and I are gonna go now.  But I just, I just wanted to say…I’m sorry about Spike.”  </p><p>Andrew joined them and obviously decided to help comfort the quiet Slayer.</p><p>“True, the noble, yet earthy Spike has been reverted to a state of-” he was cut off as Jonathan hit him in the ribs.  Andrew blinked and almost seemed to come out of a daze.  “Spike was cool, I liked him a lot.  I’m sorry he’s not here with us.  He was sweet with you and an awesome fighter against evil.”  </p><p>Buffy stared at Andrew, and then managed a small smile.  His words were the first real thing he’d said since they’d met him.</p><p>“Thank you both.  Be careful on your way home, all right?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>***</p><p>Joyce pulled into the driveway of 1630 Revello Drive and got out with a bag of groceries under her arm.  She walked into the house and started unloading the bags before noticing a figure sitting on the back porch.  Quietly she opened the door and sat down beside him.</p><p>“Hi, Mum.”</p><p>“William.”  </p><p>Spike started to cry, not very hard or very loud, but he welcomed Joyce’s arms around him and the hand she used to stroke his hair.  He didn’t cry for long, but straightened up quickly, brushing his eyes with the back of his hand.</p><p>“Some vampire I am; can’t even hear my own name without crying like a sodding nancy-boy.  It isn’t supposed to be this way!”  </p><p>Spike stood up and walked down the steps and picked up a rock and threw it into a nearby tree where it stuck, sunk in with vampire strength.  </p><p>Joyce never flinched, but spoke quietly.</p><p>“I think, Spike, that you’ve never been a typical vampire.”  </p><p>Spike laughed bitterly.</p><p>“Well, that’s true, anyway.  Leastways, always what Angelus said, only without the complimentary tone you use.”</p><p>“You wanna come inside?  We’ll talk.”  </p><p>He shrugged like nothing was important anymore.</p><p>“Sure, got nothing else to do.”  </p><p>They walked inside and Joyce settled him at the island with some hot chocolate.</p><p>“You want to tell me what happened?  All Buffy would say was that Willow broke the spell.”</p><p>“Well, where to start?  I’m Spike, William the Bloody, slayer of Slayers and here I am, married to my mortal enemy.  Like a bloody nightmare.  It’s not right.  She should stake me and I should drink her dry.”</p><p>“Somehow I’m having trouble believing you’re a conventional thinker, Spike.”</p><p>“Yeah, so what?  So I like to fight fair or against the odds, doesn’t mean I’m ready to be in love with a Slayer, the killer of my race.”</p><p>“What if you wanted to?”  </p><p>Spike quickly rejoined.</p><p>“I bloody well don’t.”  </p><p>“What if you did?” Joyce persisted.</p><p>Spike gave in and admitted it.</p><p>“She’d never want to.  You don’t understand this like I do, Joyce, Buffy’s the Slayer.  That means something.  It means a lot of things.  Like not loving vampires, even those with souls.  See how well that turned out.  The only thing stopping me from being a bloody killer is this buggering chip they shoved in my brain.  That’s no life for either of us.”  Joyce started to say something, and then paused.  Spike sighed.  “Out with it, Joyce.”</p><p>“Are you sure the chip is the only thing stopping you from killing?”</p><p>“Do you want to know about me, wanna know all the terrible things I did?  The Tweed Brigade don’t know half of it, would fill more books than they have.  And I don’t feel sorry for any of it.  I can care about people, there have been people over the years and, yeah, if something happened to, even the whelp, I’d be, let’s say, not unmoved.  But I don’t care about what I did.  And not even Buffy can make me.”</p><p>“That’s not quite answering my question.”</p><p>“Sod the question.  I’m a vampire, bad and nasty and evil, why do you care?”</p><p>“Do you remember when you came to Buffy for a truce?”</p><p>“Course I do.”</p><p>“Well, I was a little distraught and confused at the time.  But I was there while you and Buffy made your deal and I remembered everything you said when Buffy explained the whole thing to me later.  You went against everything you were, for love.  And then when that love backfired on you, you still clung to it.  That girl was still your world.  I knew then you were different.  That you weren’t as evil as you claim to be.”  She held up a hand before he could protest.  “Make no mistake, I think you could be evil very easily.  I think sometimes you want to be and I think it’s your nature to be evil.  But I also think you choose not to.  It’s you, all you.  Not a chip, not a soul, not a spell, but you.  Only you can choose and you have.  All these months under the spell, you could’ve done evil on the side or tried to turn Buffy from her calling.  But you didn’t because you believed love was more important than all your past life and all that your nature cries out for you to be.”  Joyce shrugged.  “That’s my theory on why you’re not evil anyway, like I told the two of you before.  Because you choose not to be, like every other living being.” </p><p>Spike was quiet for a while and then started to talk.</p><p>“It’s always been about love for me, even before I was turned.  It’s the reason I was turned.  After, I was like a boy with a new toy, you know?  I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted, so I did.  But there were a lot of things I didn’t want to do that were evil.  Did them to please Dru or impress Angelus.  Still don’t feel sorry for them but I wouldn’t do them again.  I prefer a clean fight to seduce and ravage.  Liked being caught by mobs, sought out the Slayer.  You know, I only killed two of them, but I’ve fought every Slayer from the time I was turned to Buffy.”  </p><p>As he spoke, Spike’s voice grew smoother and he seemed unaware of the refinement of some of his sentences.  </p><p>“I am a fighter by nature and an admirer of skill.  That’s why I enjoyed these past months so, got to kill demons, they can fight as opposed to just killing humans with no more chance of taking me on than a bloody mouse.  I take as much pleasure in the other person hitting me and their blocking my blows as I do at landing them.  That’s why I love the Slayer.  Cause she fights well, not because she’s funny or smart or got hair like a bleeding commercial.  Cause she fights well.” </p><p>Spike was just talking to himself now.  Joyce listened and let him ramble.  </p><p>“You wouldn’t think it to look at my track record and nobody around here would tell you this, but I’m the best fighter in the world.  How’s that for a title?  I come from behind, I know how to pick my battles, I never fear to lose, I absorb power from my opponent.  Cause when they’re winning, it’s like I’m winning.  So many times Angel and I would fight and he would practically kill me and then I would take that from him.  The only reason he and Dru dared carry on like that in front of me was cause of the bloody wheelchair.  And, Joyce...”  </p><p>He turned to her and looked in her eyes.  </p><p>“...the only reason Buffy isn’t dead is cause of circumstances.  Well, that and I never follow my plans.  First fight, you saved her with the axe.  At Halloween, spell broke and I knew I couldn’t fight both her and Angel at the same time.  Next time, she had Dru with a stake, and then I had to save Dru from two Slayers and got a church organ down my back and this most recent time, one, I would’ve burnt up and, two, I made the classic villain’s mistake of getting the heroine righteously pissed off.  But make no mistake, I could kill her in the end if we had no interruptions, just me and the Slayer.  I know all her moves and she’s never had a chance to see half of mine.  If we were together, I could-” and here, Spike broke off, unable to go on.  </p><p>Joyce pulled him in her arms.</p><p>“It won’t work, Spike.  You can’t convince me and you can’t convince yourself and you know it.  That’s why you’re trying so hard.  I believe you are all you say you are, but that only proves my point.”  </p><p>Very softly, so she had to strain to hear, he spoke,</p><p>“Doesn’t matter if you and I know it.  She has to.”  </p><p>Joyce could understand that.</p><p>“Go to her and explain.”</p><p>“I can’t.  She’s the Slayer and I know their job better than they do.  And I know her; she would never risk the lives of those she loves.  Plus, it’s just not right, a Master vampire with the Slayer, like a bloody sitcom.  If she comes to me, I’ll go.  But not otherwise.”  </p><p>Joyce sighed, but nodded.</p><p>“Okay, William, but you come to me anytime you need it and don’t get yourself killed working off your pain.  You’re my son-in-law and I need you.”</p><p>“Right, Mum.  Don’t worry, I’m made of hard stuff; still a nasty vampire here.  Rather die than brood about it, too.  Much rather get drunk, it’s just more elegant.  Thanks.”  </p><p>Spike downed his cocoa and looking much better, shrugged on his duster and swaggered out the door, the epitome of a bad boy, only the trace of tears on his face betraying the real man within.</p><p>***</p><p>Willow pulled reluctantly away from Oz.</p><p>“I have to be with Buffy right now.  It’s my fault she’s in pain, so I have to try to help.  Helping is good, and helping is all I can do.”  </p><p>Oz nodded.</p><p>“I’m due to patrol with Giles and Xander.”</p><p>“Do I have to tell you to be careful?  Be all wolfy and do the nose thing, k’?”</p><p>“Don’t worry.  I meet any dangerous looking object, I’ll remind it I’m higher on the food chain, even if while insane.”  </p><p>She smiled the smile she knew he thought was the sweetest smile in the world.</p><p>“I just got you back, don’t wanna lose you.”</p><p>“I’m here.  Gotta go do the manly thing, but turns out, coupled with lycanthropy, I've been diagnosed with bad penny syndrome.”</p><p>“And why would you always turn up back at my door?”  </p><p>He smoothed back the hair from her forehead.</p><p>“No particular reason.  Just love you.”  </p><p>“I love you, too.”</p><p>***</p><p>Willow hurried to her dorm room where Buffy had been staying, unwilling to be in her apartment.  Tara, having moved in to save the room for Willow while she was gone, was there with Buffy when she arrived.</p><p>“Hey, guys.”</p><p>“Hey, Will.”  </p><p>Willow moved to sit on Tara’s bed with the other two girls.</p><p>“Do I sense a ‘feel my pain’ talk needed?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ve reached the point where imitation of Angel is just too painful.  Doing the best friend thing would be really helpful now.”  </p><p>Buffy smiled at her friends and made room for Willow on the bed.</p><p>“Just tell us what we can do,” Tara said uncertainly.</p><p>“All my homework would be nice,” Buffy said, sounding like she was trying to sound like herself.  </p><p>A pounding on the door interrupted them.  Tara opened it to reveal a breathless Anya with her arms full of chocolate and donuts.  </p><p>“I come with comfort,” she announced, dumping her load on the bed.  “I read about it.  When guys do despicable things or a girl feels miserable, she eats chocolate and her friends tell her how much better she is than him.  Despite the unusual circumstances, I thought the remedy should still apply.”  	</p><p>She sat down next to an indignant-looking Willow and handed a jelly donut to Buffy, who took it gratefully and noticed Willow’s expression.</p><p>“Thanks, Anya.  I can’t tell you how much I needed this.”  </p><p>The flighty ex-demon smiled proudly and selected a large chocolate bar for herself.</p><p>“Are you sure you’re okay with all this?”  Willow gestured to the display of goodies, but all three knew she meant Anya’s presence.  </p><p>Anya huffed audibly, but held her peace, Tara looked disapprovingly at Willow.</p><p>“Yes, this is all of the good.  As for Anya, I need all three of my friends here.”  Willow and Anya both looked shocked.  “You haven’t been here for a while, Will, but it should be obvious we’ve added new members to our group, some new, some old.  Anya and I don’t get along amazingly, but we try.  She’s here, isn’t she?  No one made her come, bringing chocolate; wanting to ease my pain.  She’s not quite the same ex-demon who helped you bring your evil twin to terrorize us all.  She even does practical jokes, like tricking Xander and-” Buffy stopped abruptly.  </p><p>Willow looked down at her hands.</p><p>“I wasn’t trying to break up the group, I just want you to feel better, like poof!  Better.”</p><p>“Thanks, but I think you learned your lesson with poof-better and that it isn’t going to happen here.”</p><p>“Like Tara said, what can we do?”</p><p>“Be here.”  </p><p>The three girls nodded.</p><p>“Just tell us how you’re feeling.  D-do you know what you’re going to do?” Tara’s words seemed to unblock a dam Buffy had put up the minute Spike walked out the door.</p><p>“Do?  Who knows?  Stake my husband, jump his bones, get a divorce, get killed by Adam, join the Initiative, death by chocolate?  I just don’t know what to do.  It’s like I’m torn in two, half of me is missing and I know where it is, but I’m not supposed to go get it.  We’re enemies, opposites, it’s my job to kill him, but I miss him so much I feel like I can’t breathe.”  </p><p>Buffy started crying.  Tara put her arm around her.</p><p>“Shh, sweetie.  Y-you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.”</p><p>“I need to.  I have to talk or something will happen, like I’ll literally explode with unleashed emotion because some ghost is haunting the room, something so typical of my life,” Buffy said, calming down.</p><p>“If you want him that badly, the obvious thing to me is to go get him,” Anya stated, biting into her chocolate with relish.</p><p>“That’s the thing.  How can I, the Slayer, walk up to a vampire and say...what?  ‘Take me honey, I’m yours?’  It’s not right for us to be together.  He’s evil and wants to be.  Even under the spell.”</p><p>“That’s simply not the way it is,” Anya said bluntly.  “I know something about evil.  It’s a choice.  And before you bring up the extremely over-stated and completely wrong opinion about the no soul issue; souls aren’t the crux of the matter.  During my years as a demon, I had a soul, a demon soul, yeah, but a soul.  I was still my human self, just demonized.  I maimed and killed and cursed for over a century and enjoyed it and just cause I’ve been turned back to my extremely attractive and intelligent human form, doesn’t mean I still wouldn’t.  I just decided I’d rather be with you all and enjoy copulating with Xander than to be an unofficial vengeance demon.”  </p><p>Tara hid a smile at Willow’s obvious discomfort over Anya’s casual mention of Xander’s and her sex life.  </p><p>Buffy nodded in agreement.</p><p>“I know all that.  Through Oz and Faith and Anya and Riley and Tara, Spike taught me that.  I just don’t know if it would work, if it should work.”</p><p>Willow shifted uncomfortably.  </p><p>“Buffy, I don’t wanna be the downer here, but is that really an option? Like you said, Spike’s evil, all bitey and grrr.”  </p><p>Buffy saw Tara hesitating before speaking out, she wasn’t as comfortable with Willow as the other girls yet, and gestured for her to speak.</p><p>“S-so what?  Spike was clearly under your spell, as was Buffy, but they didn’t have to act like they did because of it.  Y-you said they should get married, but they acted like a couple of love struck teenagers.  And even if he did just want Buffy, he didn’t have to treat us the way he did.  Willow, you weren’t here.  He worked so hard to be my friend and to smooth things between us all and to only fight occasionally with Xander.  As for that, I-I think he just wanted to make sure everyone knew he was still a force to be reckoned with, even if he had changed sides.”  </p><p>Willow looked subdued, Anya continued to eat, and Buffy began to brighten.</p><p>“I know who he is.  And evil or not, he’s in charge of who he is.  Just as if he had a soul, which doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.  He told me some of the things Angel did with a soul and, Willow, you had the soul when you did the spell, Anya had one when she tried to get her necklace back, even Giles when he was all black-magicky, had one.  Will, I know it must be hard to understand, it was for me, too.  But you’re just reminded of what happened with Angel, but I know - I <i>know</i> - that on his evilest day Spike wouldn’t come after us for making him feel human like Angel.  I know he loves me, I know he could be good if he wanted.  I don’t even care if he still wants to be evil and just doesn’t for me.  He told me that all these months, he told me that when I was mad at you, Anya, about the place settings.  He said you were just trying to assert your willingness to be with us and he was right.”  Anya nodded in affirmation.  “I’m going to tell him he was right and that I need him and he will come back to me.”  </p><p>A determined look came over Buffy’s face, an odd combination of the Buffy and Slayer parts that made her who she was.  She brushed off donut crumbs and stood up.  </p><p>“Don’t worry if you don’t hear from us for a while.”  Willow started to protest, but Buffy spoke over her.  “Wish me luck; I’m going to hunt me a vampire.”  </p><p>Grabbing a jacket, Buffy walked out the door.</p><p>“Happy hunting and orgasms!” Anya called after her, soliciting another grin from Tara.</p><p>“Giles and Xander will not be happy,” Willow muttered under her breath.  </p><p>Buffy heard, but she didn't care.  She finally knew what she wanted and she wasn't let a single thing stand in her way.</p><p>***</p><p>Buffy entered their apartment knowing she would find him there.  He stood by the bed, holding one of her sweaters.         </p><p>“Hello, cutie.”  He spun around, his face a demonic visage.  “Will you hold on a second?”  Spike visibly fought to remain quiet, as if to visually remind her what she was doing and snarled at her.  “White flag up here.  I quit.”  Buffy threw her hands up for emphasis.</p><p>“Let me clear something up for you, pet.  Mortal enemies don’t get time outs.”</p><p>“You want to go a round or two, Spike; I’ll have a gay old time of it.  You want to regain what we had, we’re gonna have to play this a bit differently.”</p><p>“What are you talking about, Slayer?” Spike asked slowly.</p><p>“I’m talking about us, Spike.  I’m talking about how I need you back.”</p><p>“Okay, you do remember you’re the Slayer, right?”</p><p>Buffy started to circle casually around him.</p><p>“We like to talk big, us Slayers do.  All vampires must die.  Demons are nothing but evil.  It’s just tough-girl talk.  The truth is, I love you, Spike.  You’ve got courage, passion, and you’ve got heart, the ability to change for what you believe is right.  It’s all right there in you.  You know what I’m saying?”</p><p>“Okay, fine.  You still love me, but why would you ever come to me?”</p><p>“I want you back.  I want it the way it was before Willow came back.”  	</p><p>His human features came to fore, but he seemed unwilling to back down.</p><p>“Or could be, you’re feeling guilty.  Neutered vampire needs your protection and you’re gonna throw him a bloody bone.  I hate that.”</p><p>“You may hate that, but not as much as I hate being without you. And I’m all you’ve got.”  He turned away, obviously wanting more reassurance.  Buffy gave up wit and went with the simple, honest, “Please, Spike, I need you.”  </p><p>A tear fell from her eye and Spike seemed to throw caution to the winds.  He threw his arms around her and pulled her close.</p><p>“Love, I’m sorry.  Don’t cry.  I need you, too.  I need you more than blood, more than violence.  Shh, sweetheart.  You know if my heart could beat, it would break my chest I love you so much.”</p><p>“I love you, too.  Please don’t ever leave me.”</p><p>“I’d die first.  Again.  I wanted to come to you so much, but I couldn’t.  But I knew that if you came to me, I wasn’t ever gonna let you go.”  </p><p>Buffy looked indignant.</p><p>“So why put me through all that?”</p><p>“Oh, I just wanted to see if you could remember all our first truce talk backwards.”</p><p>“Pig,” she said, muffled into his duster.</p><p>“No, love, I just had to be sure.  I couldn’t take it if you really didn’t want me.  If you hadn’t really made up your mind about demons.”</p><p>“Don’t ever doubt me again.  I mean what I say, Spike.”</p><p>“One more thing we have in common, eh, pet?”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“I don’t know what I would’ve done, if you hadn’t come, Buffy.”</p><p>“I had to.”</p><p>“Thank you.  And not just for coming, but for...I don’t know.  I feel like I’m always the one having to do the reconciling, the changing of who I am, the groveling.  It means a lot to me that you did it this time.”</p><p>“I am willing to do anything for my man,” Buffy told him softly.</p><p>“Anything then?” he asked, with the old smirk on his face.</p><p>“Well, within reason.”</p><p>“I haven’t touched my girl in ages; that reason enough?”</p><p>No one saw or heard from either Buffy or Spike for the rest of the night or all the next day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“For someone who’s so evil, you really are a coward, you know?” Buffy said in an exasperated tone as she practically pulled Spike along.</p><p>“You take that back, silly chit!” Spike snapped at her.  “You should be a bit on the edgy side yourself, bringing your vampire mate home to meet the parents.”</p><p>“Already did that, honey,” she reminded him.</p><p>“Yeah, look how well that turned out.  Second try’s gonna go so much better.”</p><p>“I won’t pretend I’m not worried.  But we have to.  And if you would just tone down your obvious Spike-ness, it would really help me out, okay?</p><p>“Not gonna lie about what I am, love.”</p><p>“I don’t want you to.  But don’t go out of your way to prove it, and please don’t let Xander bait you.  He’ll try.”</p><p>“Please.  Your boy doesn’t know a thing about baiting.  Bloody amateur.”  </p><p>But Spike grasped her hand in agreement as they approached Giles’.  </p><p>To Spike it felt like being back in the Initiative as they walked through the door.  Everybody staring at him, making observations and judgments and all he could do was stare back.  But one thing warmed his dead heart and that was Tara, who got up from her seat on the couch and hugged him calmly.</p><p>“Spike, I-I was worried about you.  Are you all right?”</p><p>“Sure thing, pet.  Never better.”  He winked at her.</p><p>“I guess I don’t have to wonder where you two have been for the last day,” she said softly, but mischievously, into his ear.  </p><p>He widened his eyes and smiled innocently, but he knew Tara was thanked for her tension-relieving comment.  Tara stepped back and Spike and Buffy were left with the rest of the not so welcoming room.</p><p>“Hi, guys,” Buffy said.  “Look who I found.”</p><p>“Hi, Spike.  Enjoying the recoupling process?” Anya asked from her comfy spot on the couch.</p><p>“Anya!” Xander hissed at her.</p><p>“What, Xander?  Did I say something inappropriate again?  I believe it is customary to greet people when they walk in the room.  Even disgusting demons do that.”</p><p>“We’re not happy about the evil bloodsucker being back in our midst, Anya.”</p><p>“I have to disagree with you on that.  I am happy to see him.  I’ll wager Tara is happy to see him and by the post-coital bliss surrounding the two of them, I think Buffy is happy, too.  Isn’t that the important thing anyway?”  </p><p>Xander winced and ignored her.</p><p>“Buff, you think we could talk to you privately, me and Giles?”</p><p>“Yes, I think that would be best,” Giles agreed.</p><p>“No.”  </p><p>The two men stared at her.</p><p>“Buffy, I think it would be better for all concerned if we have a chance to discuss what to do privately.”</p><p>“Giles, there’s no need to discuss what to do.  I know what to do; the question is, do you?  Besides, any conversation to be had about Spike and I will involve both of us.”</p><p>“So, you’re keeping him?  Despite everything we all know him to be?” Xander could barely keep his voice down.</p><p>“I'm not a dog,” Spike mumbled under his breath and felt Buffy squeeze his hand reassuringly.</p><p>“Xander, remember, I-statements,” Willow tried to soothe him, but that only seemed to upset both Buffy and Xander even further.</p><p>“Not to be rude, Will, but last time we tried the I-statements, it didn’t work out so well.  Buffy still chose the undead over us.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t,” Buffy said angrily.  “I chose you.  Angel and I never had a chance.  Looking back, not so sad over that, but it should’ve been different.  Your guys' little interventions never work out well and that is not my doing.  All of you just can’t handle my having a life, my doing anything without your approval, my ability to make decisions you don’t agree with.”</p><p>“Buffy, please.  We don’t want to judge you; we just want you to see what you’re doing.”  Willow looked desperately at Oz for help.  </p><p>He took her hand and looked at her.</p><p>“Will, know that I’ll always back you up.  But I gotta come down on the other side for this one.  I know about power, uncontrolled power.  It’s not fun, but if Spike is willing to make the effort, we gotta give him the chance.”  </p><p>“Oz,” she whispered, “what if-”</p><p>“What if what, Red?”  </p><p>Everybody looked in surprise at the object of their disapproval.  </p><p>Spike moved to the stairs and sat down, and if he had any cigarettes on him, he would’ve lit one.  Buffy remained standing in the center of the room with her arms folded across her chest.  Spike started to casually inspect his fingernails.  </p><p>“What if I decide to go all crazy on you?  Been there, done that.  What if I decide I like killing people better than helping them?  Also a past action of mine.  What if I decide I like to drink human blood and you’re the closest thing to me?  Well, if that doesn’t describe these past few months where I helped in every bloody way I could, I don’t know what does.  I won’t lie to you all; I’m a demon.  Deal with it.  Because both of us have had to.”</p><p>“I don’t think I want you in my house anymore, Spike,” Giles said firmly.  </p><p>Spike grinned wickedly and got up.</p><p>“Sure thing, Dad.  Gotta follow the rules now that I made my choice.”  He started to move toward the door.  </p><p>Buffy caught his arm.</p><p>“If he goes, Giles, I go.  I’m not doing this anymore, this having to choose between my best friends and the man I love.  If you want to talk to me, let’s talk.  I want to explain, but if you don’t want him here, you don’t want me here.  Marriage vows used to mean something as far as I know.”  </p><p>Giles stared at her in unbelief for a minute, and then slowly nodded his head.</p><p>“All right, Buffy, we’ll all stay.  We’ll all stay and chat about our feelings and why you’re betraying your calling.”  </p><p>Moving back into the room, Buffy and Spike stood together facing the crowd.  Tara moved till she was behind them and she and Anya sat on the stairs, clearly decisive but not participating.  As if sensing the heat, Jonathan and Andrew moved to the bathroom to continue their duel.  Giles and Xander stood facing the blonde couple.  Willow sat on the couch, Oz beside her, but despite their linked hands, a vast distance seemed to separate their viewpoints.  An outsider would’ve known the situation clearly, they were choosing sides.</p><p>Willow started in slowly.</p><p>“Buffy, Spike, we have all agreed that you two love each other.  And none of us would even say that it’s one sided.  We know what Spike is like in love and I would just like to say, that’s a scary thing.  But I don’t think either of you are thinking about if it’s the best thing for you two.”</p><p>“Will, believe me, we weighed the options here.  We decided what we think is best.  We’ll deal with any consequences.”</p><p>“Consequences like dead friends in beds.  Like a trail of corpses around town cause your dead guy lost restraint one night.  Cause -” Xander threw up his hands - “You know what?  I don’t even care.  You don’t marry vampires, you kill them.  No matter how many souls, chips, or any other specialty item they may have.  Why can’t you see that?”</p><p>“Why can’t you see the hypocrisy of your opinion?  You’re dating an ex-demon, Willow is dating a werewolf.  These are all things we put under the ‘evil-kill em dead’ category.  Yet here they are, Xander, here they are.”</p><p>“Ex-demon.  Ex, Buffy.  And Oz is only a werewolf three nights a month.”</p><p>“Gotta disagree there, bro,” put in the object of discussion.  “I feel it all month long, I can sense it.  I’m not human anymore.  I couldn’t deal with that, so I ran away.  I dealt with it.  I’m back.  Spike couldn’t deal with himself, so he ran away.  He’s back.  Now you gotta deal.”  </p><p>Xander turned away.</p><p>“Fine, we're all of a sudden the rehabilitation center for things that go bump in the night.  Guess I wish I’d known when I signed up.  Cause the pamphlet mentioned something about killing them instead.  But my point remains, Oz and Anya don’t want to be evil.  That thing beside you does.”</p><p>“Wrong again, Xander,” Anya mentioned from the stairs.  “There are a great many times I wish I were still a demon.  The only difference between me then and me now is, now I can’t liquefy your insides with the power of my mind.  You should be grateful for that right about now.  Oh, and make no mistake, I could be evil, so could you.  You’re doing a fine impression of it and depend on not having sex tonight, okay?”  </p><p>Xander apparently lost his ability to form words with his mouth and Giles took over.</p><p>“I think we’re all losing sight of the point here.  The point is that there is Spike.  He and Buffy love each other.  Buffy is the Slayer.  Spike is a vampire.  Spike wants to be evil.  Buffy wants to be good.  How do these two mesh?  The answer is they don’t.”</p><p>“Could you all just listen to yourselves?”  Buffy cried out.  “Spike doesn’t want to be evil.  Not in the way you mean.  He wants to take his evil tendencies and use them for the power of good, because he loves me.  And he loves you all, too.”  </p><p>Heads snapped up around the room, including Spike’s.</p><p>“Stretching it, Slayer.”</p><p>“I mean it.  He doesn’t even know it.  But I do, and you should, too.  Think of what he’s done for us.  Think of how he could treat you if I were his only object.  Spike’s a pain, but that’s just his personality, not his moral identity.  I’m not saying it won’t be an adjustment, but he has a lot to offer and he’s giving us all he has.  Please give him a chance.”  Buffy had tears in her eyes, but her face was hardened in a determined mask.  </p><p>Willow looked around at each person’s face.</p><p>“I don’t know.  I hear the sense of what you’re saying.  It’s like hammering in my head, but the ol’ door in my brain doesn’t wanna open right now.  It’ll take time.  Could we have time, please?”</p><p>“Yes, that would be my number one priority as well,” Giles said, finally.  “I promise I won’t let my Watcher stigmatism blind me, but I need to think about all this some more.”  </p><p>Buffy nodded in agreement, and then looked at Xander.  He didn’t quite meet her eyes.</p><p>“Thinking is good.  You’re probably right, as usual.  I know my only special skills are building things, bowling, and attracting demon ladies who want to bite my head off.  I just can’t seem to push past your Chosen One powers of always being right.  We’ll fix it right, we always do.  But, Buffy...” he finally looked at her “...we’re not okay.  Someday, but not now.”</p><p>“I understand,” she said.  “Spike and I are going to go home now.  Can we all talk tomorrow?”  Nods of ascent from around the room.   “Fine, see you all then.”  </p><p>They turned and walked out the door. </p><p>They cut across the cemetery on their way home.  Two small, black clad blondes, hiding immense power under their frames.  To the casual observer: easy prey.  So thought the vampire who had been risen for a mere two weeks.</p><p>They sensed his attack before he was within striking range.  Twisting under his raised leg, Buffy swept her own out, knocking him to the ground.  He kicked his other leg, catching her in the head and knocking her against a tombstone.  Spike caught the leg as it came down and flipped the vampire so it was facing downward and yelled to Buffy for a stake.  He half-turned to see if she was all right and found her busy flipping to her feet and trading blows with a demon that was small, but extremely agile.  </p><p>Focusing his attention back toward the vampire, Spike received an elbow in the face as he turned over.  Cursing his lack of focus, Spike jammed his foot onto the vampire’s stomach, who lashed out with his feet, sending Spike hurtling.  He flipped through the air to land on his feet, but was now closer to the other fighting pair.  The demon had Buffy by the throat, but couldn’t see the knife Spike sent hurtling toward her.  She grabbed it out of the air and thrust it through the demon.  He let go with a gasp and she fell to the ground.  Spike ducked as the vampire once more came at him, but was then left in gaping astonishment as the figure flew past him to help the demon up from its knife inflicted agonies.  Spike ran to Buffy’s side and they both watched in confusion as the vampire helped the demon up and they prepared to charge the Slayer and Vampire again.  </p><p>“Okay, weirdness,” said Buffy.  </p><p>“Your call, Slayer.”</p><p>“Let’s see how you do against your own kind,” she offered.  </p><p>For an answer, Spike grabbed the stake out of her pants pocket and threw it into the oncoming vampire, where it hit with a large thump and then tumbled to the ground while the once creature of the night crumbled into dust.  At the same time, Buffy had leapt over the demon’s head and, grabbing it from behind, snapped its neck with a resounding crunch.</p><p>“You okay, love?” he asked.</p><p>“Well and kicking, you?”</p><p>“Right as rain.  Interesting that.”</p><p>“I’ll say, vamps helping demons.  They hate each other.”</p><p>“That we do; kinda hard to like someone who thinks you’re an abomination.”</p><p>“We should tell Gi-” Buffy stopped, mid word.  “I guess, Giles probably will want to know.  But I think we should wait till we’re his favorite people again.”</p><p>“Till you’re his favorite people again,” Spike corrected her.  “Now, let’s just get home.”  </p><p>They walked a couple more paces, hand in hand, unwilling to not be touching after the weeks apart.</p><p>“Spike...” Buffy stopped walking “...I just thought of something.  I bet Adam is bringing all the demons together.  Making them work together or something.”</p><p>“How you figure, Slayer?”</p><p>“Well, those guys are the most action I’ve seen in weeks.  No Slayer patrolled needed.  And then they show up again, all pals-y and stuff.  I think Mr. I Want to Know More About Life is having demon integration meetings.  That’s why they haven’t been around lately.”</p><p>“Makes sense.  Once they earn their ‘We’re all friends’ badge, they can come out and wreak a little violence again.”  Seeing her downhearted look, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.  “Buffy, we’ll tell the Watcher tomorrow.  In the meantime, can we just go home and let me show you how much I appreciate the support back there?”</p><p>“Okay,” she agreed, seemingly reluctantly.  “If it will make you feel better.”</p><p>“Much better, I promise,” he said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night, three members of the Scoobies found themselves in rapt meditation on why they were so bent on a not Spike for Buffy.</p><p>***</p><p>After their disastrous Scooby meeting Willow returned to the dorm room she now shared with Tara.  Willow was still a little wary of the blonde witch whom she didn’t know as well as the rest of the Scoobies did and Tara seemed unwilling to engage in any kind of conversation, apparently wanting Willow to have her asked for time.  When they had turned in, Willow found herself tossing and turning, unable to sleep.  She finally stopped trying and just gave herself up to thinking about the situation.  </p><p>Why not Spike?  Sure, he was a vampire, but a highly unusual one, always.  He was obviously in love with Buffy but could they trust him not to turn on them?  Musing on past encounters with Spike, Willow had to concur that she was scared of him, scared of the things he’d said and done to her.  At the same time, the two most vivid memories had a comforting tang to them as well.  </p><p>The first was when he had kidnapped her to do the love spell on Drusilla, one of the most frightening times of her life, right up there with the dead goldfish and demon/internet boyfriend.  Yet despite the terrifying threats of having a bottle shoved through her face, Willow could best remember the abject misery of the creature who had held her hostage, the total incapacitating love that had driven him to that low.</p><p>The next occasion Spike had held her prisoner was a totally ludicrous situation.  That time she had been the love lost miserable one and he had comforted her.  The weirdest part was he comforted her by letting her know how much he wanted to bite her.  That had to be the craziest thing in the world, to want to be bitten just so you knew you were desirable.  But Spike had done that for her and she knew he had been telling the truth, and for no reason at all.  </p><p>He was obviously having hard times himself right then, but he had put that aside to make her feel better.  True, then she had smashed him over the head with a lamp…</p><p>The hardest thing to remember was these past months.  It had been interesting in Arashmaharr, but horribly lonely.  The times she was communicating with the portal were the happiest there.  The people who had helped her endure the rest of the period were, of course, Oz, always there with a quirky word of encouragement and adoration, but also Spike.  He had understood what it was like to be in exile among alien beings and for no reason she could think of, he had joked with her and ribbed her about her clothes and gotten her mind off of it.  Why, why did he do these things?  Especially when he knew Willow didn’t want him with Buffy.</p><p>But why wouldn’t Willow want him with Buffy?  Buffy was happy.  Willow got the sinking feeling in her stomach that somehow she was the one in the wrong here.  All that stuff about vampires being really evil, she had, yeah, agreed with it, but that belief didn’t consume her like it did Xander.  </p><p>She finally had to come to the conclusion that mostly she was frightened of Buffy becoming so happy she wouldn’t need her dorky, little sidekicks anymore.  That scared Willow out of her mind.  Since tenth grade, her identity had been Buffy’s best friend.  Maybe that was part of the reason why Willow grabbed power and tried to be so impressive as a witch, so that when the time finally came that Buffy didn’t need her anymore, Willow would be able to stand on her own two feet.</p><p>Now she knew the path of self-destruction she’d been on and it frightened her.  No matter how she felt about herself, she had to let Buffy control her own life.  Tomorrow would have to be a day of letting go and moving on and accepting the inevitable.</p><p>Accepting the inevitable brought a whole new train of thought rolling into the station.  Anya.  In Willow’s mind, Anya was closely bound up with Spike and all Willow’s issues concerning him.  Anya and Spike had a frighteningly lot in common.  Both, for lack of a better word, ex-demons, both in love with one of her best friends, both painfully blunt at all times.  Maybe Anya had something to do with Willow’s reluctance to Spike, a reminder that her other best friend was gonna be taken by a demon as well.  </p><p>There was no love lost between her and Anya true, but what did Willow really have against her?  Anya was annoying and often embarrassing and, oh yeah, had succeeded with Xander where Willow had failed.  That was Anya’s big sin; she had won Xander.  Willow knew she was so over him and she loved Oz with all her being, but there was this part of her that exclaimed against someone else getting what she’d wanted for so long.  Hadn’t she completely lost it when she’d learned of Xander’s tryst with Faith?  </p><p>It was a harsh reflection to look at; she could see the parallels in Xander’s obsession with Buffy and now she saw them in herself and wept at what she’d let herself become.  It had been a hard six months for Willow, coming to grips with her magic and her control issues, now to realize she was a bigot as well.  She who had crowed over all the Scoobies last Thanksgiving about the Native Americans was intolerant to people who wanted to be with her best friends.  Well, that had to stop.  Maybe she and Anya wouldn’t ever be friends, but Willow realized the insensible hate she’d held towards Anya was wrong and that maybe, just maybe, Willow owed her an apology.  Okay, she did owe Anya an apology, but maybe tomorrow.  </p><p>‘I’ll pull a Scarlett O’Hara on this one,’ she thought.  ‘I’ve been all changed and sorrowful enough tonight.’</p><p>It was an exhausting amount of self-revelation that Willow was too tired to think about anymore.  Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, hoping that Buffy was all right. </p><p>***</p><p>Xander sat alone in his basement in the bright, orange chair that after sleeping in it, Spike had called, </p><p>“A bloody hard mass of macaroni and cheese that shouldn’t be allowed in any civilized country.”  </p><p>Anya had departed for her own apartment, leaving Xander to his swirling emotions in the dark, musty room he hated with all of his being.  It was not a happy time for Alexander Lavelle Harris and he did his darndest to figure out why.  It all seemed so cut and dry to him on the surface.  No heavy thinking necessary.  Spike: vampire; Spike: bad; kill Spike deader.  </p><p>But everything that had happened since Xander had met Buffy and his life had been turned upside down, especially these last few months and tonight, flooded his head and made him wonder.  Xander decided, as he was apparently being forced into serious thought by his stupid brain, to start at the beginning, so he could better get it sorted out and get it over with.</p><p>But it was not a place Xander wanted to go.  It brought back painful memories of the first time he’d met vampires, of the grotesque mask marring his best friend’s face and the vicious, feral glint in his eyes.  Jesse.  It really all came back to him.  He and Willow were Xander’s saving grace all his life, his only friends, his only protection against the awfulness that was his parents.  Then half of that was gone, ripped from him by a monster he could never hope to face.  Then to be the one holding the stake as he watched Jesse crumble into dust...  A tear dropped down Xander’s face.</p><p>Everyone thought he’d dealt with it incredibly well, so had he, bouncing back with his customary lame jokes and stupid comments, but the wound had been deep and had left him with an inner rage against anything non-human, especially vampires.  A desire to hunt and kill and hurt them for taking away his best friend and a refusal to believe they could be anything but evil, because if they could be otherwise, then Xander had killed Jesse for nothing.</p><p>Always in the back of Xander’s head there had been the knowledge that there wasn’t much he could do, all puny and human.  Sure, he knew how to do it, done plenty of fighting over the years, but he’d always felt the Zeppo, despite his numerous efforts and plans that had saved the day.  Yeah, he could be the plan man, could steal rocket launchers, direct troops, and talk dead guys with knives named Katie into deactivating bombs, but it was all talk.  He could never take out a vamp with a single punch, like he’d seen Buffy do.</p><p>So Xander had appointed her as his method of revenge.  Buffy was his vicarious tool of destruction.  Every vamp she killed was one more that could never hurt another Jesse.  Slowly, Xander realized the pressure that must have been on her.  Unconsciously, he’d put all his pain, anger, and unresolved guilt onto her and, because he'd needed her to do his dirty work for him, he had had to make sure she never did anything that distracted from that mission.</p><p>The realization caused Xander to sob and for the first time, he let himself mourn for Jesse and the loss of his friend.  Xander didn’t want to think about the goodness of vampires because if that was so then maybe Jesse had still been in there, and Xander had killed him, his friend and not just a demon.  The thought was so overwhelming Xander fell to his knees and wept.  Yet the idea was freeing also, Xander knew the possible truth now and it allowed him to grieve.  Three and a half years after Jesse’s death, Xander gave him up and let him rest.</p><p>Getting up from the floor, Xander started to go to bed, but couldn’t help the nagging feeling there was more introspection to be done.  Sure, he’d given up the horns, scales, tails, and fangs: automatically bad theory.  In theory anyway, it would take time, he knew.  But that still left the question why he couldn’t let Buffy have her way with guys?</p><p>If he were honest with himself, Xander admitted, he had an unhealthy fixation with Buffy.  He no longer wanted her, he loved Anya truly, but he wasn’t willing to give her up.  There was something compelling about the unattainable.  Something inside him that was very male whispered the idea that if he couldn’t have her, no one could.  She had to be waiting there alone, for the far off, perhaps day when he would need her and she could be his.  </p><p>Looking at himself in disgust, Xander felt pity for Willow as she must have been in those long ago days when she loved him differently than she did now.  How messed up he was.  Xander looked around at his miserable surroundings that metaphorically resembled the state of his mind.  He had to get out of this basement and out of his obsession with Buffy.  He needed to make some decisions about his life.  He couldn't stay the same unambitious kid who'd muddled his way through high school and depended on his friends for everything.  </p><p>His heart lightened, Xander smiled.  Only one question remained.  Why not Spike?</p><p>Xander supposed his ego burned that not once, but twice, a vampire had been chosen over him.  Angel was broody, mysterious, and had brought angst to them all.  But Spike?  What had Spike done besides try to kill them?  </p><p>There was the insignificance factor.  Spike was ten times faster, stronger, sexier, cooler, and smarter than him.  But not funnier; Xander would never admit funnier.  Spike had also beaten Xander up several times, without effort, once while drunk.  That was one more hit to the ego and then...Spike was a pain in the ass and he did it on purpose, but he wasn’t a simple guy.</p><p>There were many layers to Spike and Xander had to admit, they were fun to explore.  Spike did have a lot to offer and Xander could see how perfect Spike and Buffy were for each other.  Looking back over the time they’d spent together, Xander couldn’t remember unhappiness.  Constant snarkiness and insults were Spike’s way of relating and his protection against the enemies he’d surrounded himself with.  </p><p>And, Xander realized with amazement, it actually meant he respected you.  Xander had learned from watching him that if Spike really didn’t respect you on some level, he just ignored you or killed you.  Xander enjoyed the constant sniping between them.  It was a challenge, a very male challenge that Xander didn’t get to enjoy with Giles or Oz.  Spike wasn’t someone normal, and their friendship - oh crap, it was a friendship! - was interesting and unusual and Xander realized that he would miss it and he would miss Buffy’s happiness if he managed to get his way in the situation facing them.  With a sinking feeling, Xander realized that now, he didn’t have any reason to object to Spike tomorrow.  In fact, he actually liked the guy.</p><p>“I feel like I’m betraying something or someone, probably me,” he muttered, getting into bed.  “But it’s the happiest I’ve been for three and half years.” </p><p>***</p><p>Giles poured himself a drink from the glass canister on his kitchen shelf and collapsed on the couch.  Why, oh, why were his days filled with dealing with demons and college students?  One at a time he could handle, but both simultaneously...  He felt old.</p><p>Why were they being forced to deal with such a mundane issue as Buffy’s love life when a killer like Adam was on the loose?  For that matter, why did Giles oppose the match?  Wasn’t he the one who believed that Spike had been sent to them for a Higher Purpose?  Giles could almost see the capital letters in his mind.  Hadn’t they all seen a marked change in the vampire in his time with them?  Hadn’t Giles himself changed so dramatically since his stint on the Hellmouth, that he couldn't be so callously bigoted on the morality of demons as he would’ve been once?</p><p>All these questions boggled the ex-Watcher’s mind and sent him back to memories he didn’t want to remember.  They forced him back to Eyghon and the death of Randall, back to the time when Giles had watched his friend die and decided that no more would he allow the forces of darkness to dominate, that he would take up his Watcher’s mantle and show them no mercy.  It was atonement for his Ripper days, but it was a stand to fight on the side of good and to accept the destiny he had heretofore rejected.</p><p>Giles couldn’t find anything wrong with that.  Despite feeling otherwise when forced to listen to the hormonal rampages of his young charges, he loved them all and wouldn’t change his being there with them for a second.  Yet Giles realized that being a Watcher had shaped him, had formed his opinions.  His training had educated him in such a manner as to brainwash him.  With sudden remorse, Giles felt pity for Wesley and the way they had all treated him.  Wesley might have been a stuck-up, prissy, kiss-up, and a way too morally one-sided git, but had Giles been any different when he’d arrived on the Hellmouth?  </p><p>It was his experiences with Buffy and the others, their open acceptance of him, and their adventures together that had changed him.  And, he had to admit, Wesley had changed Giles.  When faced with a younger version of himself, he had striven to change and grow, but without giving any assistance to the less-experienced Watcher he was driven to dislike of, simply because Wesley had gotten Giles’ old job.</p><p>Giles shook his head.  Somehow this all had something to do with Spike and Buffy, he was sure of it.  Well, it had made him more accepting of the other side of the coin.  He knew what it was like to fight evil and he believed he could distinguish what was actually evil.</p><p>So, why did he resist Buffy’s vampire lovers?  The aversion to Angel might have something to do with him murdering the only woman Giles had ever really loved and taking from him the chance to completely reconcile with her.  Giles didn’t think he could ever truly forgive Angel and he had been relieved beyond words when Angel had left Sunnydale.  Giles felt this not only for himself, but for Buffy’s sake.  She was just too young and Chosen for them to be together.  </p><p>Then Spike had come along and was as different from Angel as oil and water, but still a vampire, one who had no desire for redemption, even if choosing to do good now.  But even Giles could see how beautifully paired the two were.  There were no personal grievances against Spike to hold as a reason for not sanctifying the union.  No reason besides taking away Giles’ daughter.</p><p>That was the nub of the matter.  Buffy was his daughter, no matter who had actually fathered her.  Giles started laughing as he realized that something they had all taken to be a very moral matter about if someone was good or evil was simply him not wanting to give up his daughter.  Buffy had changed Giles’ life.  She was the reason he’d been alienated from the Council and his life in England.  Many times he’d longed for adult conversation and not having to order his tea from a different country, but she was worth it all.  She made him feel like a whole man, despite the many protestations she made against him having a life.  He wanted to give her everything, </p><p>“But there is something Spike can give her that I cannot,” Giles admitted to himself.  </p><p>He’d told Spike that Buffy was an adult and Giles was going to treat her like one, so, he’d better start tomorrow and not pain her any longer.  Besides, he liked Spike.  A fellow Englishman was a godsend, someone who understood all Giles’ cultural quirks and in spite of the vampirical, eternal teenage syndrome, Spike was older than all of them and proved to be quite mature when he deigned to be.  With shock, Giles realized that in these past months of living with the man, Spike had become more of a son to Giles than Xander.  </p><p>Too many life-changing thoughts racing in his head, Giles turned in, ready to change their lives with his decision of acceptance.</p><p>***</p><p>The three Scoobies each wondered how they would break the news to the other two about their new viewpoints.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When everyone arrived at Giles’ the next day, they found Riley there, pacing, full of bad news and brusque humility. </p><p>“Buffy.”  He strode over to her.   “It’s bad out there, we need your help.”</p><p>“Why do you need my help?” she asked coolly.  </p><p>“Adam is out of control.  We don’t have the strength to bring him down and our Commander refuses to admit he isn’t the one in control of the Initiative.”</p><p>“So he doesn’t know you’re here?  This is a solo mission?” she said mockingly.</p><p>“Affirmative,” Riley said automatically, then caught himself.  “I need your help, Buffy; you’re the only one with even a hope of bringing Adam down.  Besides, we’ve got our hands full with more demons than we can handle.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”  Buffy was surprised, considering how few demons she was encountering these days.</p><p>“We’ve been bagging HTs left and right every time we go out.  Our cells are so full we don’t have space for them all.”  </p><p>Buffy narrowed her eyes.</p><p>“Almost like they want to get in there.  That would go hand in hand with the demon/vamp tag team Spike and I saw last night.  Adam’s stirring them up, reconciling them and getting them to allow themselves to be caught.”  Buffy frowned.  “But what for?”</p><p>“I don’t know.  All I know is that we need outside help.  I can get you whatever info you need, provide you access to the lab, just be ready when whatever it is breaks open.”  </p><p>Buffy folded her arms over her chest.</p><p>“So, we’re info-sharing buddies now.  Will you hold to your end of the bargain?”</p><p>“Yes, I promise.”</p><p>“What can you tell us about Adam?”  </p><p>Riley shrugged.</p><p>“Not too much.  He’s made out of human, demon, and mechanical parts.  He’s smart, adapts easy, interested in learning all he can about life and himself.”</p><p>“How do you kill him?  Decapitation, impaling, special toy gun?”</p><p>“We know from looking at Professor Walsh’s-” Riley cleared his throat “-old files that Adam’s power doesn’t come from any of these things.  Chopping off his head won’t kill him.  His only vulnerability is his power source, a uranium core located inside his spinal cord.  Getting to that and destroying it is our only option and our problem.  We can’t get close enough to try.”</p><p>“Okay, that narrows down the possibilities.  Well, keep your eyes open and if you find out anything let us know.  I’ll do the same.”  Buffy shook Riley’s hand and he left, glancing askance at Spike on his way out.  </p><p>This left everyone else staring nervously at each other and wondering where to begin.</p><p>***</p><p>“So,” said Xander, “who wants to go first?”  </p><p>People shuffled their feet before Spike stood up and lifted his hand rather mockingly.</p><p>“If you don’t mind, Teach, I’d like a few words.”  Three Scoobies swallowed hard and nodded.  “Right, here goes.”  Spike shook his head and standing before them was a demon.  </p><p>Willow jumped and clutched at Oz, Giles' hand reached toward the ax lying on the table nearby. </p><p>“Spike,” Buffy said gently.  </p><p>He glanced at her. </p><p>“Easy, easy, folks.  Just a little demonstration for you all.  A reminder.  This is who I am, a demon.  Doesn’t mean it has to dominate all that I do though.  Observe.”  Spike threw his head back and when they could see his face again, it was normal.  “Just thought I’d remind the Slayerettes who they’d be admitting to their little club.  So much for that, now for the painful part.”  Spike squared his shoulders and went up to Giles.</p><p>“Spike,” Giles addressed him firmly.</p><p>“Dad, I respect you.  I honor you as a father-in-law and I ask your blessing for Buffy and I.  I also want you to know she’ll always be your daughter, no matter who she marries.  I want to thank you for housing and coping with me for so long and offer municipal reparation for your trouble.”  	</p><p>Quirking an eyebrow up at Giles’ look of surprise, Spike was himself again.  He smirked and, pulling a hand out of his duster pocket, handed Giles a roll of cash.  </p><p>Giles stammered and pulled off his glasses and started cleaning them vigorously.  </p><p>“Spike, I-I, I don’t know- it’s very generous.  Uh-I.”</p><p>“Don’t strain yourself, Dad,” Spike chuckled.  “I’ll get back to you.  Don’t break the glasses in the meantime now.  I know for a fact they’re your only pair.”  </p><p>Moving on to Willow, Spike squatted before her as she sat on the couch.</p><p>“Hey, Will,” he said softly.  “Wanna say thanks for the spell, the best bloody thing that ever happened to me.  I’m sorry about kidnapping you and threatening you all the time.  Not to worry about Buffy, though, I won’t shove any bottles in her face and she’ll always be your friend.  I couldn’t take that away; don’t want to.  And...” his voice got lower and rougher “...not to alarm our significant others or anything, but you’re still very bitable, Red.”  	</p><p>Willow blushed scarlet, clashing with her hair.  Giving her time to recover, Spike moved on till he was before Tara.</p><p>“Glinda, you’re a gem of a lady and one of the finest woman I know.  All I can say is thanks for the support and suggestive comments.  Get my motor all revved up, yeah?”  Spike grinned at her as her eyes smiled in conspiracy back.</p><p>Anya was next.  Spike was careful not to crowd her or give Xander any reason to think he was trying anything.  </p><p>“You’re a real fire-cracker and I appreciate the truth you speak.  Got wild spirit in you and I know you’ll always make your way.  And never let anybody tell you anything against what we are or were.  We miss the powers, but they’re still a part of who we are.  Give the boy time, he loves you, just doesn’t always see straight.”  </p><p>Anya pursed her lips and nodded as though receiving a solemn charge.  </p><p>Oz nodded at Spike when he stood in front of him.</p><p>“My apologies for harmful intent toward your bird.  Promise I won’t ever do it again.  Thanks for the support last night, didn’t see it coming, Dog-boy.”</p><p>“I like the unexpected; it’s a pride thing, actually,” Oz answered.  	</p><p>They smiled in mutual respect.</p><p>Spike froze for a second as he reached the nerds, not quite knowing what to say to them.</p><p>“Uh, keep up with the knowledge of everything trivial and mundane.  It’s, uh…something that shouldn’t die out.  Brings some color into our drab lifestyle, yeah?”  </p><p>It was the first time, Spike was scrabbling for words, but Jonathan obviously understood the intent.  Andrew just nodded, lost in a dream world, and seemed about to go into a long acceptance speech when Spike moved on to Xander.</p><p>With all the others, Spike had a touch of bravado in his voice; now he dropped it, being as sincere with Xander as Spike could possibly be with anyone.</p><p>“Xander...” he used his name for the first time without any mocking epithets or tones attached “...I want to thank you for being a friend.  I haven’t had a lot of them.  But having someone to do the manly insulting thing with is great.  I know it can’t have been easy on you, me with your friend.  I can’t help loving her, and I can’t help who she loves.  But I know you know your heart and what’s inside all of us.  You’ve got eyes to see and a heart that goes with it.  Use them well, not for grudges.  I can’t make apologies or offer anything to make up for what I or other vamps have done to you.  But I’m sorry, all the same.”  He then switched back to his regular manner.  “Oh and sorry about the smashing your head in a lot.  Not that there’s any lasting damage or anything.  You seem quite smart and sharp as whip.  Really.”  </p><p>Spike moved to the center of the room where Buffy had silently watched him and addressed them all, taking her hand.</p><p>“I can’t say much else.  I’m not a speech-giver by nature, but simple truths I know.  Here’s one, Buffy was right.  I do love you all.”  He grimaced toward Xander.  “I want nothing more than to be accepted by you.  I can’t promise to be an angel, no pun intended, and I won’t, but I care about you and I care about what you care about.  Because that’s who I choose to be.  So here I am, here we are.”  He raised Buffy’s hand slightly.  “Ball’s in your court.”</p><p>Nobody seemed to know what to say.  Giles finally stopped polishing his glasses and put them on.  He cleared his throat, obviously wondering at Spike’s ability to see their true fears, and searched for words.</p><p>“Thank you, uh, Spike.  Yes, well, I did a bit of thinking last night.  I came to the conclusion that we should, uh, offer Spike here a-a hand of friendship considering all he’s done and is.  I…well, I realized a lot of the reason why I was so negative regarding their marriage was my own feelings of…parental loss, shall we say, and seeing as Spike understands that and that I do, I have no further problems with him, apart from the fact that he is a smart-mouthed burk who enjoys getting on people’s nerves.”  </p><p>Giles smiled politely at Spike, who grinned back wickedly.</p><p>“Gee, Dad, didn’t know you cared,” Spike said, and then, looking around at the others, spoke.  “Anyone else, last chance for Kick the Spike.”  </p><p>Willow licked her lips nervously and spoke up.</p><p>“Guess we all got a visit from the conscience ghost or perhaps his second cousin.  I-I’ve got no issues either, with Spike, I mean.  Not to say that I don’t have issues, cause they seem to follow me everywhere and make me crazy and cause all sorts of problems.  And, oh, the point, well, Spike is a scary vampire man, but even when he’s threatening to kill you, he’s sorta, well, sorta sweet, so Spike in is my vote.  I also, uh...” she swallowed “...I also have to say something to Anya.”  Everyone looked surprised.  “During my stint of self-reflection, I thought about you and how I don’t really like you at all and why.  I’m-I’m kinda jealous and that doesn’t say too many good things about me, I know, but I just wanted to say that…I’m sorry and not to say, hey, we’re instant buddies, but I don’t want to judge you based on whether you’re with Xander or not or…well, I’m sorry.”  </p><p>Anya looked at her with narrowed eyes.</p><p>“I didn’t expect to hear that.  Still, I believe it is customary to accept such an apology, so I do.  As long as you don’t try to steal Xander with your lips like you did before, I won’t hate you.”  </p><p>Seeming more or less pleased, Willow nodded.  </p><p>Xander, looking very embarrassed, hastened towards his own public agreement probably more quickly than he otherwise might have.</p><p>“Okay, um, apologies all around for the attitude I dish out to you all.  I hate demons still, but if I get to know them first, I won’t kill them.  I had a talk with my inner repressionist and got some things off his chest.  So, all for the inclusion of the bleached un-wonder so long as I don’t ever have to say I was a part of it.  Buffy...” he turned to her “...I’m sorry for trying to make your decisions for you.  I’m working on the letting go, give me time and don’t slap me too hard upside the head when I fail.  Anya...”  </p><p>Xander knelt in front of her and held her hand.  </p><p>“...I’m sorry for treating you so casually.  You’re very important to me and I tend to forget the one I have in preference to the one I don’t.  I don’t want to do that anymore.  I-I love you and I want you to be my focus from now on, so forgive me?”  </p><p>He waited in tense silence, as if mentally counting the seconds before she would take his head off as would seem to be his fate.</p><p>“Okay,” she said, smiling at him.</p><p>“What, that’s it?  Okay?  On my knees here,” he protested.</p><p>“Don’t push your luck, Harris.  Demon-girl’s got a mind of her own.  Oh, and thanks for the public support, mate.  Warms the dead cockles of the heart right up.”</p><p>“Shut up, Spike,” Xander said, giving him a death-glare.</p><p>“I accept your apology, too,” Anya said, pulling Xander toward her.  “It was very nice to hear and I will forget about all the idiotic things you do regularly, for now.  Just don’t forget, I know plenty of vengeful tactics that have nothing to do with being a demon.”  </p><p>Xander shuddered, but drew her close to him in a kiss.</p><p>“So that’s it then?  I’m in?  No more games of ‘Do we trust the bloodsucker?’ ” Spike asked impatiently.	</p><p>“For lack of a better word, yes,” Giles said.  “Don’t gloat about it, it’s rather unbecoming.”</p><p>“Just happy, Dad,” Spike said before pulling a grinning Buffy into his arms.  </p><p>She returned his kiss with fervor, seemingly perfectly happy for the first time in a long time.</p><p>“Oh joy,” Giles said, turning away.  “Now I don’t just hear the smacking, I get to see it as well.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A week later, Spike was striding along through one of Sunnydale’s many cemeteries, black duster flapping behind him.  He was on his way home from a trip to the Amarra crypt getting more income for him and his bride.  </p><p>Thinking of Buffy, he almost didn’t sense the blow in time, but spinning to the side at the last second, Spike was able to catch the arm that had been nearly rammed into his head and twist his opponent around to knee him in the stomach.  Twisting the other person was one of Spike’s favorite moves and had won him his first Slayer.  Bringing both hands down in a fist on the vampire’s back, Spike heard bones crunching.  Picking up the limp form, Spike tossed it against a tree branch and watched it dissolve into dust.</p><p>“Impressive,” said a deep, methodical voice from out of the shadows.  “Your skills were not exaggerated.”  </p><p>Spike watched in apprehension as Adam stepped into view.</p><p>“Yeah well, live long enough you pick up a few things.  Nice to see ya, yeah?  Cheers.”  Spike started to walk away.</p><p>“Hostile 17, I have a proposition for you.”  </p><p>Spike stopped.</p><p>“I heard what you’ve been doing, count me out.  I don’t want to be all nicety-nice with those maggots you’ve been dealing with.”  </p><p>Adam smiled, an odd look with his combined facial components.</p><p>“This is not a recruitment proposition.”</p><p>“All right, it’s been a while for me, so I’ll bite.  What is it then?”</p><p>“A chance to win back your freedom.  I know you are forced into dependence on your mortal enemies because of the chip embedded in your head.  I am offering you the opportunity to be free of that impediment.”  	</p><p>Spike swallowed, his throat suddenly drier.</p><p>“And what would I have to do to ensure this happy little chipectomy?”</p><p>“Simply tell the one called the Slayer everything I want you to.  I know she trusts you.”  </p><p>Spike sputtered in unbelief.</p><p>“What, that’s all?  Not try to take her out or join your little band of groupies?  I’m waiting for the catch.”</p><p>“The catch is that you cannot help but accept my offer.  Your very nature cries out for it.  I know the stifled energies you possess; I can feel them from here.  It pains and burns at you; the helplessness, the lack of control.  You feel stifled, violated, and vengeful.  This will offer you back the very reason you live your life, this will allow you to feed, to hunt, to not be a lackey or puppet.”</p><p>Spike stared at the huge demon equivalent of a hot dog.  Too many parts, all unsavory, but making a whole that seemed enticing until you found out what it was.  It was true, everything Adam had said.  To have the chip out; it seemed like somebody had made a vast clerical error and Spike was in heaven.  To no longer be hampered by the fear the Initiative could just snatch him and he would be helpless to stop them.  To be able to feed, to taste rich, hot, life-giving human blood pouring into him; he was almost salivating.  But he had made his choice.</p><p>“Give me a while to think over it, yeah?”  </p><p>The demon nodded.</p><p>“I will meet you here tomorrow at this time.  I know what you will answer.  Think about it, the question.  What is your nature?”  With that, Adam walked off into the night.  </p><p>Spike swallowed and continued home, brow furrowed, thinking hard.  He entered the apartment silently, but Buffy heard him anyway.</p><p>“I’m in here, Spike.”  </p><p>He entered their tiny bedroom where she was flopped on the bed, doing her homework.</p><p>“How’d the foraging go?  We still rich beyond compare?”</p><p>“Oodles of wealth just waiting for you to spend it,” he reassured her.</p><p>“You should’ve let me come with you.  It’s not safe out there alone.  Besides,” she pouted, sticking out her lower lip, “no fair having secret quests for money without me.”  </p><p>Ordinarily, Spike would’ve taken full advantage of that lip, stalking her with a predator’s grace and a seductive tongue curl only he seemed to know how to do, but Spike had other things on his mind.</p><p>“Lip-tease,” he said, almost absently, moving to lie beside her on the bed, hanging his duster on a chair along the way.  </p><p>Buffy turned on her side to face him.</p><p>“You seem all down.  Anything happen on your merry trip through the graveyard?”</p><p>“Yeah, actually.  I need to talk to you, to ask you…”  He detailed the entire conversation with Adam, not leaving anything out.  Spike concluded, “I don’t want to join Mr. Mix n’ Match’s evil empire, but I do want this bleeding chip out of my brain.  Everything he said that I felt was true.  He just didn’t know all the reasons why they were.  I can’t stand being defenseless, Buffy.  I know you can take care of everybody, but what if you weren’t there some night while I’m out with Glinda or the Geek Squad and they get taken?  What do I do?  Spit on the Commandos?  Obscene gesture?  Not hardly effective, love.  I want to go undercover and find out what our oversized, patched together friend is up to and get my chip out at the party as a special treat for being a good boy.  But I want your agreement.”  Spike stopped talking and gave her time to think.  </p><p>Buffy traced circles on the bedspread for a while before speaking.</p><p>“He doesn’t know you’re with me for real, right?  He thinks you’re dependent on me cause of the chip.”</p><p>“Yeah.  Must think I’m bloody desperate.  Not like our marriage was a private thing.  Whole underworld must’ve been chatting about it.  I’m surprised His Broodiness hasn’t flown up here in a rage yet.”</p><p>“Okay,” she said.  </p><p>Spike stared at her, nonplussed.  He’d expected to at least have to talk her into it.</p><p>“You mean that?  You don’t care I’ll be able to harm humans again?”</p><p>“Well, I’m going on the assumption you won’t unless you have to.  Plus, I need a decent sparring partner.”  She smiled at him, exhibiting her trust in her eyes as well as the long way she had come since their marriage.</p><p>“Decent?  I could kick your pansy behind, Slayer.”  Spike smirked at her, showing his teeth.</p><p>“We’ll have to try and see later,” she said, her tone conjuring up images in his mind that had more than just sparring in them.  “First, you get to be undercover man and find Adam’s fatal flaw.”</p><p>“All right then.  But I want the whole gang of yours heads' up on this one.  Don’t want them going all stake happy after our cheery little reunion.”</p><p>“Sounds like a plan.  But later, okay?  I want you all to myself just now.”  </p><p>Buffy wrapped her arms around him and offered her lips, which this time Spike took immediate advantage of.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>A silent group was gathered at Giles’ as Spike related his adventures from the night before.</p><p>“First trial, mates,” he told them.  “Still wanna be friends?”</p><p>“Of-of course we do, Spike,” Giles said, faintly.  “I was just surprised you, well, that you asked us at all.”</p><p>“Team effort, innit?  I’m honest, you’re honest; it’s a whole big honest thing.  I want this thing out of my noggin, but I want the approval of those I care about.  And by the way, this whole sharing thing; creeping the demon out to no extent.  Start heaving blood and buffalo wings in a minute.”</p><p>“Thanks for the imagery, honey,” Buffy said dryly.</p><p>“Can we just let the pesky corpse go do what he wants so he’ll leave and I won’t have to listen anymore?”  Xander looked truly green around the edges at Spike’s mention of the ingredients of his diet.</p><p>“Right on.  Approval from the enemy.  Unlife’s looking up,” Spike jeered.  </p><p>Giles sighed.</p><p>“Fine, Spike.  We’ve been over this before; if we didn’t trust you before, there’s no point in starting now.  You’ve the group’s tacit permission to carry out your request and report back when it’s completed.”  Giles then turned and poured himself a drink, rubbing his temples and wishing he were a grocer as he did.</p><p>“Cheers then.”  Spike kissed Buffy and winked before heading out to meet Adam.</p><p>***</p><p>When Spike got to the rendezvous point, he found Adam already there.</p><p>“Hostile 17, have you reached your decision?”</p><p>“First off, stop calling me that.  The name’s Spike.  I’m not a lab rat you can experiment on with your new found fascination with what makes life tick.  Just a bloke with a chip shoved in his skill, which you’re gonna pull out of there as soon as I have some answers.  By the way, love the Commando look, and hey, do you look slimmer?  Been working out?  Getting rid of some of those less than savory bits they stuck in you?”</p><p>“I grow tired of your meandering.  What is it you wish to know?”</p><p>“What I wish to know is what you want me to do.  Is there an entrance exam to active evil school?  I hope not, cause I’ve been out of play so I’m not sure how I’d do and I didn’t really study, so...”</p><p>“Your assignment will be as I stated before.  A simple delivery process.  Provide me information on the status of the Slayer, deliver information to her I will give you, and make sure she is where I want her at all times.”</p><p>“Want me to distract her?” Spike asked, slowly licking his lips.  “That I’m real good at.”  Adam just stared at him.  Spike rolled his eyes.  “Fine, I’ll be a part of your little band of two bit villains.  Do I gotta sign something?”</p><p>“This is as I have planned,” was Adam’s answer.  “Follow me.”</p><p>Spike shrugged and fell in pace with Adam.  They walked to a cave on the outskirts of town by the campus.  Inside was a bank of monitors where Adam apparently kept tabs on what was up in Sunnydale.</p><p>“Nice place,” Spike said, looking around at all the rock and general cave-ness of it all.  “Decorate it yourself?”  </p><p>Adam ignored him, going to the computers and pulling several discs out of the pile.</p><p>“You are to make sure the Slayer gets these.”  </p><p>Spike took them and stuck them in his duster’s pocket.</p><p>“Sure thing.  So, can we get this over with?  Bit knackered.”</p><p>“I will remove the chip after we have finished other business and I am satisfied of your intentions.”  </p><p>Spike threw a quick glance at Adam and knew immediately that Adam would never really do it unless Spike forced him.  So, squaring his shoulders and sticking his thumbs in his belt loops, Spike prepared to bluster.</p><p>“Look, Captain Kibbles n’ Bits; it’s now or never.  I don’t get it out, I leave and you find yourself an actual flunky.”  </p><p>Adam looked at him with level, calm eyes.</p><p>“I could kill you where you stand.”  </p><p>Spike laughed.</p><p>“Yeah, probably.  But you need me and I’m a demon of my word.  I’ll do everything I said I would.  But I want payment up front cause I don’t trust you.”  The two demons stared at each other, neither blinking.  </p><p>Without looking away, Adam replied.</p><p>“Very well.  I agree to your prerequisite.  I believe your nature will bear out your impatience.  Lie down.”  </p><p>Spike lay down on a low table in the center of the cave.</p><p>“Mind the hairline; I don’t fancy fussing with a comb-over once I’m back to my killing ways and make sure you wash your hands first.”  </p><p>Adam injected a syringe into Spike’s head and started to incise the skin with his long fingernails which Spike found vaguely disturbing.</p><p>Hours later, Adam straightened from his work of stitching and showed the relieved Spike a small bit of plastic held between the two prongs of a pair of tweezers.  Spike took it from him and dropped it to the floor, grinding it to dust beneath his boot.  His head ached, but nothing like the agony of a chip-induced headache.  He felt relieved.</p><p>“Thanks, Doc.  I’ll be seeing ya.  Gotta get these to the little wife.”  	</p><p>With a casual wave, Spike swaggered out of the cave and across the campus toward home.</p><p>He was overjoyed when the Initiative squad attacked him.</p><p>Spike sensed their presence before they could shoot him as before; the blood flowing in their veins was almost a warning siren now that he was paying attention.</p><p>Kicking the guns out of the first two soldiers' hands, Spike spun around and knocked more guns out of reach into the bushes.  Now it was unarmed combat, Spike against five Initiative soldiers who circled around him.</p><p>Grinning madly at them, Spike stood tense and ready.</p><p>Whirling into action, he blocked a punch and used his attacker to take another.  Spike flipped Soldier One around into a tree, knocking him out.  Dropping to the ground as Number Two swung at him, he used his bent knee to flip Number Three over onto his back and punched him unconscious.  As Spike was rising, Two and Four came at him simultaneously.  Ducking, Spike let them deck each other while sweeping his leg out in a circle to trip both of them.  Then balancing on his hands, his left leg flew up in a direct hit on Number Five who had been sneaking up on him.  </p><p>Number Two was down, but Four was back up at him again.  Using his right palm face up, Spike blocked a punch with his other arm, and then thrust his palm upward, breaking the man’s nose.  Spinning around to face Number Five, Spike grabbed the arm swung at him and twisting it over his head, got behind the man in perfect biting position.  Thrusting down the black turtleneck, Spike bit and drank deep.  He took only enough to incapacitate the man and dropped him, savoring the taste of the blood.</p><p>Spike stood for a moment, reining in his thoughts.  So he could use his demon side to not kill, just bind.  Huzzah for him.  Finally, some blood that didn’t make him want to throw it all back up again.  The fighting, true not so good as fighting demons, but these men were trained more than most and he’d still dropped them without a single hit on himself.</p><p>“Now that’s bloody more like it,” Spike said to himself and continued on his way home, his body thrumming with the excitement of the fight.  </p><p>He still entered the door more nervously than he had the previous night.  Buffy was in the kitchen, rummaging around in the cupboards.</p><p>“Hey, you.  All signed up to be evil?”  She greeted him with a kiss.</p><p>“Recruited and chipless,” he told her.  </p><p>Buffy lifted her eyebrows in surprise.</p><p>“So soon?  Wow, aren’t you the lucky little boy.  Did you go hit Xander for the fun of it?”</p><p>“No, but good idea, be back soon.”  Spike turned to leave.  </p><p>She laughed and pulled him back to her.</p><p>“Do you think you could give me the details of what happened before you head off to prove yourself against my friends?”</p><p>“Oh, right.”  He pulled out the discs and handed them to her.  “For you, a little present from the enemy.”</p><p>“What are they?”</p><p>“No idea.  Just told me to make sure you got them and to get you where he wanted you to go.”</p><p>“Which is where?”</p><p>“He didn’t tell me.  We’ll go over it later, perhaps.”</p><p>“Well, I’ll get Willow to look at these tomorrow.  In the meantime, want to try to hit me to see if he really removed it?”</p><p>“Already tested, love.  A bunch of soldiers jumped me on my way home.  Pulverized them.”</p><p>“They’re not dead, are they?  They are sort of our allies.”  Buffy was obviously concerned that Spike might have gotten carried away after his long incarceration.</p><p>“All breathing and accounted for.”  Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath and continued.  ”I did bite one, though.”  </p><p>Buffy whirled to look at him more closely.</p><p>“You did what!”</p><p>“I drank from the last one.  I had him from behind; it was either that or break his neck.  This way, he’ll live.”  </p><p>Buffy looked like she couldn’t believe her ears.  Like it was Angel happening all over again.  Spike hated that he'd put that look on her face, even if his demon was still howling with delight at the events of the night.</p><p>“Spike, you promised me.”</p><p>“I didn’t kill him.  I only stopped him from killing me.”  </p><p>She shook her head, backing away from him.</p><p>“Eating people is not self-defense.”</p><p>“I didn’t eat him, I tasted him.  I only did it to test myself.  Now I know I can resist.”  </p><p>Buffy looked at Spike closely.</p><p>“He really is alive?  You won’t do it again?”  </p><p>Spike nodded and decided he might as well bite the bullet now instead of later.</p><p>“He’s alive.  But I want to talk to you about that last bit.  It’s stupid not to use all my abilities, Slayer.  I won’t kill anyone by eating them.  But if, in a fight, I can stop someone by biting them, then I will.”  He looked at her, pleading with his eyes.  “Come on, love.  It’s just like you using only your right arm and not your left.”  </p><p>She stared out the window for a minute.  Then tightened her lips and slowly nodded.</p><p>“I won’t stop you.  But only when necessary and try to find another way.  No killing.”  </p><p>“You got it, Slayer.”  Spike turned and walked into the bedroom.  	</p><p>Buffy followed him.</p><p>“Upset with me, Spike?”</p><p>“No, I just don’t want you getting any funny ideas with the spatula.”  	</p><p>Buffy looked down at the wooden spatula clenched in her hand and laughed.  For some reason that seemed to strike her as funny and she just collapsed on the bed laughing.  </p><p>Spike watched her, bemused.</p><p>“Care to let a fella in on the joke, love?”</p><p>“Nothing is funny, that’s what so funny.”  She laughed some more.  </p><p>He joined Buffy on the bed and stroked her hair while she convulsed with laughter.  She finally quieted some and he kissed the back of her neck, sliding his hand around to her stomach, immediately sobering her up.</p><p>“Evil vampire, taking advantage of me.  I’m gonna pound you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Why wait?  I’m ready now?” he teased her.  </p><p>She tensed and then flipped him onto his back.</p><p>“You asked for it, Spike.”  </p><p>He grinned in anticipation.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“That is so wrong.  I cannot believe you think that.  It’s like you had your eyes closed the entire time,” said Jonathan in an outraged tone.</p><p>“Excuse me, who was the one who kept getting up to go to the bathroom?  You missed half of it.  How could you possibly make such a crucial judgment based on partial information?” asked Andrew hotly.</p><p>“I make the most of what is, not what you would make it out to be, dorkwad.”</p><p>“Listen, Jerk-athan, don’t mess with Admiral Piett!  He could whup General Veers any day.”</p><p>“Would you listen to yourself?  Piett lacked initiative, he was too freaked that Vader would vaporize him if he took a wrong step.”</p><p>“Piett lasted longer than everyone.  Do you see Veers after the snow battle, I don’t think so!  Vader kept Piett around because he understood the objective and didn’t question orders.”</p><p>“Oh please.  Piett was a wimp; did you notice the twitching as Vader’s helmet went on?  Veers would’ve stayed calm and cool, just like he did in the snow battle.  Who got the Rebel shields down?  Was it Piett?  I don’t think so.”</p><p>Jonathan and Andrew walked down the steps toward the open area before Giles’ doors, still arguing, but they were quickly stifled when they opened the door and saw all the busy work at hand.  </p><p>Willow was busy at her laptop, decoding something.  Oz was at her side, separating the papers she printed.  Xander sat at the kitchen counter, whittling stakes and handing them to Anya who was organizing them in boxes.  Buffy and Spike were sorting weapons on the floor and Tara and Giles were on the couch with a mound of books beside them, researching something or other.</p><p>“What’s happening, noble fellow evil fighters?”  Andrew asked in concern.  </p><p>Jonathan rolled his eyes and followed Andrew into the room.  </p><p>Anya looked up from where she had been watching Xander with a disinterested look on her face.</p><p>“We’re gearing for battle; that should be obvious.  Spike got some discs that will tell us what Adam is doing and they’re looking for spells that will kill him.  I’m stuck watching Xander whittle, which is interesting only for the first few minutes and then gets terribly boring because I can organize much faster than he can whittle.”</p><p>“I’ve got it!” Willow cried in triumph.  “Sort of, it got itself.  But I have the decryption done.”  </p><p>Buffy hurried over to look.</p><p>“What does it say?”</p><p>“Well, there are maps and grids on the Initiative base, some info about the program that we already know.”  Willow clicked the mouse several times.  “Oh, Maggie Walsh’s journals!”</p><p>“Adam wants me to know what his mother wrote in her journals?” Buffy asked, genuinely puzzled.</p><p>“Not quite regular journals,” Willow said, excited.  “They were her plans for Adam.  He’s carrying them out for her.”</p><p>“Well, what are the plans?” Xander asked, looking up from whittling.  “I’m guessing…not a tea party for two.”</p><p>“You’re not wrong.  Maggie wanted to develop a superior race in a secret lab that is located in the Initiative.  Is this Hitler-ish or what?  Only she didn’t kill off everybody but herself; she made something out of everything she thought was superior and she was going to make more.  Adam killed her before she could.  Now he’s doing it.  I bet that’s why he wants all those demons in the Initiative.”</p><p>“So he can break them free and have them fight with the soldiers under his terms and then have loads of demon and human parts waiting around to be put together,” said Buffy, taking up the tale.</p><p>“Does anybody else miss the Mayor, ‘I just wanna be a big snake?’ ” Xander asked, looking creeped out.</p><p>“Pity I missed out on that, sounds like good time.”  The four original Scoobies looked at Spike with irritation.  “What?  Used to be evil here, enjoy a good spot of violence is all,” he said in defense.</p><p>“I guess why he wants me there is to even the ratio of dead demons to soldiers,” said Buffy thoughtfully.</p><p>“Doesn’t sound like he’s worried about you killing him,” said Anya.</p><p>“No, I guess not,” she replied.  “Spike, see if you can ferret out when this little showdown is going to take place.”</p><p>“Won’t have to ferret, love.  He wants you there, so he’ll probably tell straight out where to lead the lamb to the slaughter.”</p><p>“You’re right, Spike,” Giles said musingly.  “But the question remains, how can Buffy hope to defeat him when his only vulnerability lies inside his skin?”</p><p>“Any spells seem good?” asked Jonathan.  “I find spells are good for getting what you want done.”</p><p>“We haven’t found anything that will work yet,” said Tara.  “We’ll keep looking of course, but a l-lot of the spells have really nasty side-effects.  We’re trying to find one that won’t make us really sorry the next morning.”</p><p>“Maybe all of us with our combined efforts infused together can foist the malevolent Adam and bring down his forceful reign over the hapless soldiers,” Andrew suggested with an impressive tone in his voice.</p><p>“Don’t be silly, Andrew,” Anya said, “All that will do is get us all killed.  I don’t want to be killed, so bad idea.”  </p><p>Giles stood and went to a bookshelf in the corner and pulled out a slender red volume.</p><p>“Yeah, we’d just take Buffy’s strength and Giles’ mind-blowing mind and Willow’s witchy wiles and Spike and Oz’s noses and boom!  Superhero!”  Xander laughed at the idea.</p><p>“That will work just fine,” Giles said in triumph.</p><p>“What!” came several simultaneous voices.</p><p>“There is a spell I know of.  It calls forth the essence of the First Slayer’s power by combining several people into one.  We have the four people we need.  I speak Sumerian, the language needed, Willow is a witch so she has the spirit required, Buffy is strong and can provide the strength and be our vessel.  Xander, you have the heart.”</p><p>“Really, the heart?” he asked cheekily.  “The heart, that’s me.”  </p><p>He nudged Oz with his elbow.</p><p>“Congrats.  Knew you had it in you,” Oz replied, grinning.</p><p>“Back up there, Giles,” said Buffy.  “What are we doing again?”</p><p>“We will go to the Initiative at the time Adam specifies.  I imagine there will be battle between the demons and the soldiers, so we will need protection and that is where Spike and the others come in.  The four of us will perform the spell and essentially what will happen is the three of us and our powers will go into you, Buffy, and ignite the essence of the First Slayer that resides in you and you will be able to destroy Adam.”</p><p>“A plan!  We have a plan,” said Willow happily.</p><p>“A good plan,” said Buffy, agreeing.</p><p>“What about the inevitable and oh-so-not-happy-side-effects?” asked Spike wearily, as if he had to remind people not to do bad magic every day.</p><p>“There could be dire consequences,” Giles agreed.  “But the alternative spells are far worse.  This has the best chance of success and, I believe, will be most effective.”</p><p>There came a rapping at the door.  Jonathan opened it to reveal Riley who strode in looking harried.</p><p>“Buffy, did you find out anything?  Things are really bad out there.”</p><p>“As it just so happens, we have a plan, in which I am a pivotal heart figure,” said Xander jauntily.</p><p>“Huh?” Riley was obviously and understandably genuinely confused.</p><p>“We have figured out a way to defeat Adam,” Giles said.  “It requires a spell in which Xander will have a part.  He’s excited about it, so pay him no mind.”</p><p>“Hey!”  </p><p>“Spells.  Like magic?” Riley asked.</p><p>“Exactly,” said Willow excitedly.  “It will be great.  Giles, can I see the spell?”  </p><p>“Certainly, look at the ingredients and the history behind it.  Part of your training.”  </p><p>She took the book eagerly.</p><p>“Tara, will you look at this with me and explain anything I don’t get?” </p><p>“Of course.”  </p><p>Tara moved to Willow’s side and the two of them moved into a corner with the book.</p><p>“So what’s the plan other than the spell?  How’s it all gonna work?” Riley asked.</p><p>“We’ll go into the lab and kill Adam, there will probably be battle between the demons and us, so we’ll need all the help we can get,” Buffy told him.</p><p>“The vampire isn’t coming, is he?  He’ll turn on us.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s in cahoots with Adam right now.”  </p><p>Riley looked scared to cross Buffy in this area again, but spoke up anyway.</p><p>“You’re not wrong,” Spike said and chuckled.  “I met with him last night.  Great bloke, that.  Really appreciated his leadership qualities.  Touched me deep down.”  </p><p>Riley glared at Spike and turned to Buffy.</p><p>“He might be joking, but I doubt it.”</p><p>“I’m not joking,” Spike said firmly, tongue in cheek.  “I really did and I told him that I’d make sure the Slayer was right where he wanted her.”  	</p><p>Riley whirled around and took steps toward Spike.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Buffy.  He is too dangerous and if you won’t do something about it then I will.”  </p><p>Everyone backed away as Riley bore down on the grinning Spike.  A look from Spike to Buffy let everyone know he was going to handle this one.  Riley pulled a stake out of his pocket and plunged it toward Spike’s heart.  Spike bent back and dodged the blow, then reached out his hand and lifted Riley off the ground by the neck.</p><p>“Sorry, Captain America, defender of the innocent, but I’m not a neutered puppy anymore.  Adam is very helpful that way.  But guess what?  I’m still good and tolerant.  I’m willing to let you live, even after attacking me, which is more than I could say for you.  Jon, ol’ boy, open the door.”  </p><p>Jonathan opened the door.  Spike threw Riley from the opposite end of the room, out the door and into the fountain.</p><p>“Now don’t do that again.  Or I might not be so lenient.  You got off easy compared to most of my minions.  You could ask them, but then with their tongues out they probably couldn’t communicate with you and you’d likely just dust them, but Buffy will take care of any staking of me, thank you so much.”  </p><p>Spike adjusted his ruffled duster and reclined on the couch.  Riley got up, dazed and soaked and rushed back into the room.  Buffy stopped him with a hand to his chest.</p><p>“You see!  You see!  He’s chipless and dangerous!”  </p><p>Buffy shook her head and laughed.  </p><p>Spike shook his head wryly.</p><p>“I think I’ve memorized this next thing coming up.  Getting sick of it to tell you the truth.”</p><p>“Y-you know, Spike, people would be a lot more willing to believe you if you spoke with more sincerity and less Big Bad bluster,” Tara said softly.  </p><p>He looked at her seriously and obviously considered her words.</p><p>“Probably, but I get sick of them using the same old lame excuse to try and stake me.  I’ll be better, promise.”  </p><p>Spike winked at her and she smiled back.  </p><p>Buffy, meanwhile, was restraining Riley.</p><p>“Spike is with us.  Are you with us?  Stay or go, we could use your help.  But I personally will make sure Spike is safe.”  </p><p>Riley relaxed and nodded, but the look in his eyes was anything but compliant.</p><p>“I will agree because there are bigger things here, but I am not convinced.”</p><p>“That’s fine for now,” she said, releasing him.  “Sit down and we’ll get started.”</p><p>Buffy moved to the center of the room and got into General mode.</p><p>“Okay, here’s the way it is going to be.  Giles, Willow, Xander, you will do the spell.  I’ll be heading to find Adam.  Riley and Oz will go with me in case I need back up.  Spike, you, Tara, and Anya will guard the three doing the spell.  Concentration, I'm assuming, is key for them, so you need to make sure they aren’t interrupted.  There will be fighting all around, so everybody be on alert.  Take a weapon that you know best.”</p><p>Everyone nodded and Giles looked proud that she could understand the spell and plan for eventualities, which was silly considering she was the Slayer and sometimes she did listen when he was droning on about battle strategy.</p><p>“What about us?” asked Jonathan.  </p><p>Buffy hesitated, but then thought of something.</p><p>“I need you guys to be our last defense to the outside.  You’ll be at the door to the underground, just in case anything breaks out.  I don’t think it will, but be ready just in case.”  Jonathan nodded and Andrew probably would have made a speech but Buffy hurriedly kept speaking.  “Everybody has their assignments.  Giles, Willow, and Tara, get the stuff ready that we’ll need for the spell.  Spike, you let us know when Adam is ready for us to move.”</p><p>Spike drew Buffy to one side.</p><p>“I want to be with you when it all goes down.  Let Captain Cardboard stay and protect them.  It’s a worthy job I know, but I’d rather protect you.”</p><p>“Spike, I don’t need as much protection.  These are people I love and I know that if I don’t make it out of there, you’ll make sure they do.  I had to say that to Giles about my mother the first night you tried to kill me.  Now show me you’ve changed by doing this for me and pay me back for that worry.  It will be hard for you and for Oz being away from Willow, but I know these are the best spots for everybody.  Tara will be with you for magic support and just in case you don’t know how to kill something, Anya is usually a good source.  I’ll have people that know how to fight with me and I’ll know that everyone else is safe because you’re taking care of them.  Please, don’t fight this.”  </p><p>Spike sighed and looked into her eyes,</p><p>“You better not be thinking I’m whipped, Slayer.”  </p><p>She smiled.</p><p>“I seem to recall a certain vampire telling me in a magic shop that he was and he was man enough to admit it.”</p><p>“Don’t go rubbing it in, pet.  Yeah, I admit it, though there was a slight word change as I recall.  But it doesn’t mean I can’t stand alone.”</p><p>“Sure, you’re the original Big Bad Stand Alone vampire always out for being on his own, all right.  You could stand it so well that the first time Dru wasn’t there, you hooked up with Harmony.”</p><p>“I could literally bite your tongue for that.”  He slowly blinked his gaze down to her mouth.  It made her insides jump when he did that.</p><p>“Try later,” she said, bringing his head down for a kiss and went back to being General Buffy.  “Will, where’s that lab?”</p><p>***</p><p>That night Spike went to Adam’s cave to report and scrounge for information.  Adam met him at the entrance.</p><p>“Does the Slayer know what will happen?”</p><p>“Sure thing.  Those little discs of yours gave up after a quiet tussle with Red.”</p><p>“While the witch is quite adept, it was I who allowed the information to be accessed.”</p><p>“That right?  Well, pat on the back, mate.  They know all about your master plan.  Quite ingenious, really.  When’s it happening?”  </p><p>Adam eyed him curiously.</p><p>“I wonder why you wish to know.”</p><p>“Slayer’s gotta be there, right, in order for this thing to work?  I gotta be the one to get her there.  Amazing conclusion is I gotta know when to get her there.  Got it, Frankenstein?”</p><p>“It will happen tomorrow.  I will arrange for the demons to break free of their cells and once the Slayer is in, I will shut down everything so that no one can escape.  You show the Slayer in and make sure she does her job.”</p><p>“Right-o, boss.”  Spike saluted grandly and left the cave.  </p><p>Adam followed him.</p><p>“Do not fail me in this, Spike, or the pain the chip brought you will seem insignificant compared to what will happen to you.”  </p><p>Spike nodded in understanding and went home.</p><p>***</p><p>Buffy was brushing her teeth when Spike got there.  He leaned over her and wrapped his arms around her middle, looking into the mirror at the lone image of Buffy looking blissful and content with toothpaste foam over her mouth.</p><p>“You look bloody funny, love,” he told her, laughing.  </p><p>She retaliated by turning and kissing him, smearing foam all over his mouth too.</p><p>“There, now you do, too,” she retorted.  “Add red paint and the blood of the innocent is all over you.”</p><p>“The blood of the innocent is all over me, Buffy,” he said quietly, but without remorse.</p><p>“I know,” she said.  “But not again.”  </p><p>“So long as you’re around and your boy doesn’t hack me off too bad,” he told her, his tone teasing.  </p><p>She nudged him away.</p><p>“Go to bed, scoundrel.  I’ll finish here and join you.”  </p><p>He took one of her hands in his.</p><p>“You like me because I’m a scoundrel,” he whispered roughly, making her bones turn to jelly.</p><p>“Stupid quoter-guy,” she murmured as his lips came on hers.</p><p>A little while later, teeth brushed and quite happy, they lay in bed together and Buffy prodded him into telling her things he loved about her by admitting what she loved about him.  </p><p>“I love the way you look absolutely gorgeous with bleached hair and without and that it can be curly or slicked back with gel and is still as soft as mine.”</p><p>“I love the way you notice all my physical aspects before my inner ones,” he teased her.</p><p>“I love the way you always turn serious compliments into ridiculous comments.”</p><p>“I love the way you play with your victims before dusting them.  The puns and all.”</p><p>“I love the way you are always contrary to anything I say, just to prove me wrong.”</p><p>“I love the way your hair shines like sunshine and spun gold.”</p><p>“I love the way you always see right through everyone.  The most perceptive person I know.”</p><p>“I love the way you pout when you don’t get your way.”  He nibbled her lower lip as he said it.</p><p>“I love your cheekbones.  They’re so high and defined, chiseled and they leave sexy indentations.”</p><p>“I love your right uppercut.  A real powerful punch, love.”</p><p>“I love your accent and the words you use that I don’t understand half the time.”</p><p>“I love the way you speak, where half of the words aren’t even words.”</p><p>“I love the way you don’t stand down to anyone, even when you’re totally outmatched and defenseless.”  She played with his hair.</p><p>“I love your total devotion to your Calling and to your friends.”  He kissed her forehead.</p><p>“I love your passion and the way you’ll do anything for someone you love.”</p><p>“I love your body, the way it moves when you’re fighting.  Like dancing.”</p><p>“I love the scar on your eyebrow, makes you look all rugged and rakish.”</p><p>“I love the way you throw around anyone who doesn’t like me.”</p><p>“I love the way you can stand up for yourself and for me, but let me do what I want instead of trying to make my decisions for me.”  </p><p>She kissed him with the passion that was behind her words, because this truly meant a lot to her.  He responded in like kind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The gang stood before the hidden door to the Initiative bearing weapons, nerves, and a giant magic gourd.  Buffy turned to Jonathan and Andrew.</p><p>“Okay, guys, this is where we leave you.  Since it’s sunlight you won’t have to worry about vamps, observe my husband cowering under the tarp.”  Spike shot her a dirty look, but she ignored him and continued.  “But other nasties might break out.  Keep your heads and remember the sword patterns Spike taught you.”</p><p>“We will,” Jonathan said nervously, clutching his sword.</p><p>“May the Force be with you and the grace of the Valar watch over you,” Andrew said, majestically inclining his head toward them.  </p><p>Jonathan poked him in the ribs with the not pointy end of his sword.</p><p>“You can’t go mixing universes like that, bonehead!”</p><p>“Why not?  Both are valid forms of blessing given to departing warriors.”</p><p>“They cancel each other out.”  </p><p>The others left, hurrying away, as Andrew began to swear in a language that could only be Klingon.</p><p>Buffy’s entrance into the Initiative was brought up short by the gun leveled in her face.  They were surrounded by soldiers with weapons who quickly deprived them of theirs.</p><p>“You’re under arrest,” said the soldier who had Buffy under his gun.  “Including you, Finn.  Take them to the Commander.”  </p><p>They were marched to the communications center where their gear was searched and Buffy fought to reign in her temper.</p><p>“Commander, Adam is here.  He is trying to start a war using your soldiers.  You have to get your men out of here!”  </p><p>The Commander sneered and moved to face her.</p><p>“Listen, Miss…Slayer, I know every inch of this facility.  If Adam were here, I’d know it.  Maybe Maggie Walsh went in for all that mystic Slayer crap, but I know differently.  You little kids are in over your heads, playing at killing demons.  Time to stop playacting and resisting those who actually know what they’re doing.  We are fully capable of taking care of Adam.  If what you say is true, that he’s trying to start something, we’ll handle it.  Meanwhile, you and your little friends and Agent Finn, who apparently is a traitor, can wait here till we decide what to do with you.”</p><p>“Oh, that’s gonna go real well.”  Xander rolled his eyes.  </p><p>Buffy silenced him with a look, and then turned back to the Commander.</p><p>“You listen.  I’m not the one playacting.  You, everyone here, the government, is out of their league.  Congratulations, you figured out demons are real.  Now stand down before you all get massacred.  You’re messing with primeval forces you have no comprehension of.  I’m the Slayer; it’s our destiny to take care of these things and we little girls have been doing it since the dawn of time.  So back off and let me kill Adam.”  </p><p>He started to argue again but a call from an operative at a screen stopped him.</p><p>“Sir.  Sir, we’re losing control of the system.  All the containment cells are opening and all exits are locking up.”</p><p>“It’s Adam.  Please try to get your men out and let me stop him.”  </p><p>The Commander ignored her and galvanized his men for action.  Leading them, he left two on guard, whom Buffy and Spike took care of in short order.  Spike set to work gathering up all their stuff again and Buffy turned to Willow.</p><p>“Will, can you get us to the secret lab place?  Open the doors on the computer?”</p><p>“No need,” said Willow, her hands on the keys.  “The only locked doors are the exits.  Adam was really serious about that wanting you to be here part.  And the stay here part.”</p><p>“Then let’s go fight that evil!” Spike said, obviously itching for some violence.</p><p>“Stay the bloodlust.  I dare say you’ll get more than your fair share before this is over, Spike,” Giles admonished absently, gathering candles and his gourd into a bag.</p><p>“Come on,” said Buffy.</p><p>They moved to the open pit of the lab and stared for a moment at the carnage and horror opening before them.</p><p>***</p><p>In the lab, Adam watched the monitors with an almost gleeful look.</p><p>“Mother would be proud.  And I do appreciate violence.”</p><p>***</p><p>Everyone rocketed into motion as they fought their way across the floor.  Buffy and Spike, two superhuman blurs of speed and grace, against demon and soldier alike.  Willow and Tara used magic to propel enemies out of their way.  Xander and Riley, equipped with guns from the fallen soldiers, using them to the best of their military training, however fading on Xander’s part.  If anything could be amusing in such a fray, it was the sight of the small Oz hurling himself with less skill than berserk force at his foe, and the tiny Anya, obviously drawing up memories of similar brawls, howling with enjoyment and whirling her surprisingly good sword skills like a dervish.</p><p>They reached the Authorized Personnel Only door and dashed through.  Beating off escaping demons, they came to Room 314 and barricaded themselves in.</p><p>“Okay, set up here.  This place is as good as any,” Willow instructed.</p><p>“Any port in a storm,” Giles agreed.</p><p>“Your door should be over there, Buffy.”  Willow pointed to the back of the room.  </p><p>Buffy and Riley lifted aside the filing cabinet against the wall and swung open a section of it.</p><p>“Riley, Oz, let’s go.  Spell’s in five, right?”  </p><p>Giles nodded.  Oz squeezed Willow’s hand tightly.  Spike took hold of Buffy.</p><p>“Careful, love.  Kick his ass, yeah?”</p><p>“Don’t worry; I won’t be alone and I will.”  </p><p>Buffy grinned and the three disappeared through the door.  Spike and Xander put back the wall and cabinet behind them.  </p><p>Giles and Willow quickly set up the spell while Spike issued orders to Tara and Anya.</p><p>“Right, barricade’s not gonna hold against anything really strong, so we will be fighting.”  He grinned in anticipation.  “Red’s probably gonna need the most protection doing the mojo, so I’ll guard her.  Glinda, you wanna get the Watcher?  Cause I do believe Demon-girl’s gonna claim the boy.”</p><p>“Darn right,” Anya said sternly.  “If anybody comes near him, they’ll wish I were an actual vengeance demon and didn’t take their messing with my man so personally.”</p><p>Giles, Willow, and Xander sat in a triangle with candles burning and the gourd in the middle.  Spike, Tara, and Anya took up their positions in back of them.  Willow started the incantation and handed a card to Giles and Xander each, representing mind and heart.  She lay the spirit before herself and put the hand in the middle for Buffy.</p><p>***</p><p>Buffy had run into a snag.  Just outside 314, there was another lab filled with zombies.  They had tubes attached all over keeping them alive and their faces were disfigured, their eyes milky-blue, moving slow and trancelike, but undoubtedly strong and unrelenting.  She recognized only a few, some soldiers around the campus, the doctor Adam had skewered, and, to her surprise, Professor Walsh.  Beside her, Riley almost dropped his gun in shock and horror as he obviously saw many he knew, some good friends, and Maggie, his mentor.</p><p>The zombies noticed them and seemingly some inner brain command caused them to turn and walk toward the three with a less than friendly air.  Buffy looked around and saw another door on the far side of the room.</p><p>“Can you guys hold them off while I find Adam?  The spell’s gonna hit soon.”</p><p>“Go,” Oz replied, already looking a little less like himself and more like a primal beast.  </p><p>She leapt over the zombies, swinging on some overhead light fixtures as Oz crashed into the first wave, pulling tubes out left and right with claw-like hands as Riley used his gun to incapacitate them. </p><p>Adam sat before a monitor, watching the battle with evident enjoyment.  Buffy leaned against the wall behind him.</p><p>“Too scary out there for ya?  Prefer to sit back, hide, and wait for assembly line time?”  </p><p>He turned to face her, possibly annoyed at her presence, but clearly not surprised or worried.</p><p>“I am living my destiny, as are you.  I know why you are here.  It is why your vampire lover could not keep you from coming for me.  It is a Calling deep within your blood, established for time immemorial, yet as changeable as humans themselves.  That is why I am here.  Demons are unchangeable, irreversible, forever, and unmoving.  Humans are weak, predictable, mortal, and subversive.  I will change all that; make them whole and together. This is the vision my mother had for me, one I have studied and now accepted.  It will be just as she designed.  And you, too, are a part and one that was predicted.”  </p><p>Buffy rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Will you put a sock in it?  You think I want to hear your typical evil villain speech?  Know how many of those I’ve heard?  But look at that, I’m all bored with nothing to do.  Can we get to the fighting already?”  </p><p>Adam grinned.</p><p>“Yes.  It will be interesting to see this scenario played out.”  </p><p>A skewer protruded from his arm and advancing on her, he thrust it towards her chest.</p><p>***</p><p>In 314, there was a flash, three heads as one lifted upwards abruptly.</p><p>***</p><p>The skewer stopped; the tip was a hairsbreadth from Buffy’s stomach, held there by an invisible force field.  Adam tried to pierce her with it with no success.  Buffy’s eyes glowed a bright orange and she moved with a strange, ethereal grace.  Her hand reached out calmly and snapped the skewer.  Adam recoiled and then attacked with new fervor.  Buffy evaded every blow with ease.  She lifted Adam with one hand and smashed him against the wall.  He dropped toward the floor and his hand fell upon a gun lying discarded.  He picked it up and opened fire on her.</p><p>***</p><p>The door to 314 broke open as a hairy creature rammed its way through heading for Willow.  It jumped over Spike’s head, who twisted sharply and reaching out, snapped the neck, then once more took up a guard position.  The major fighting seemed to be concentrated in the open area, but several demons released from their cells, bloodlust and freedom-adrenaline controlled, noticed the open door and the seemingly helpless <br/>human victims inside.</p><p>Tara, foremost, held up her hand and shouted.</p><p>“Incinde!”  </p><p>Two vamps before her burst into flame and then were dust.  A Krevlak demon headed for Anya and several more demons of various kinds advanced upon Spike.  Behind him, he heard Willow, Giles, and Xander, all speaking at the same time in a language he didn’t know.</p><p>***</p><p>The bullets slowed to a stop before Buffy’s outstretched hand and hung in the air.  Her mouth spoke strange words in a combination of several different voices.  </p><p>The bullets dissipated and Adam spoke, his words a tad panic-stricken.</p><p>“Interesting.  But it will not last against what is destiny and preparation.”  </p><p>The Buffy figure laughed.</p><p>“It is forever.  We are forever.  Our power is more and your power will cease.”  </p><p>So saying, she plunged one hand into Adam and pulled out a glowing case of uranium.  He toppled to the floor and she levitated the container, spoke Sumerian again and it disappeared in a flash of light.  Buffy’s eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed to the floor where, a few minutes later, Riley and Oz found her.</p><p>***</p><p>Willow, Giles, and Xander also collapsed and panted, unable to move, consumed with the spell’s backlash and what had just happened.</p><p>“Xander!” Anya called, ducking a claw swipe directed at her head.  “Xander!  Why are you breathing hard?  Are you dying?  Stop it!”  </p><p>She had to stop exonerating him to better health when a new influx of demons arrived.</p><p>Tara decapitated one with a magically animated surgical tray from across the room.  Spike literally tore the legs out from another and Anya impaled hers.  For the moment all was quiet and Spike took assessment of the three on the floor.</p><p>“Spell’s gone.  They’ll live, barring the bloody consequences we’ll wreak.  But did it work?”</p><p>“Yeah,” said Buffy, coming in through the wall, Riley and Oz behind her.  “We kicked his power source.”  </p><p>Everyone was recovered enough now to hug everyone else and rejoice in their success.  But it wasn’t over yet.</p><p>“We still have to help my men,” Riley reminded impatiently.</p><p>“Right.  We’ll help them out; can you rally them to follow you?” Buffy asked.  </p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Then let’s get going, team, and win that war!”  Spike said in a falsely sincere imitation of what was presumably Military Xander.  </p><p>Actual Xander glared at Spike feebly and, leaning on Anya, accepted a gun, scolding, and kisses all at once.</p><p>“Let’s get outta here,” he said.  “Not big with the staying and getting killed at the moment.”</p><p>They filed out of the room and down the hall, spread out in what a movie would’ve been the romantic hero shot with inspirational epic music building to a magnificent crescendo.</p><p>***</p><p>Jonathan and Andrew sat with their backs to the building, clearly bored.</p><p>“You think they’re okay in there?” </p><p>Jonathan glanced at the door where faint sounds could be heard, war cries and metal clashing on metal.</p><p>“Of course, Buffy is the ultimate champion, fighting for right on every side, with Spike, the coolest warrior of all, on hers.”</p><p>“Batman is the coolest warrior of all.”  </p><p>Andrew considered this carefully.</p><p>“Can you really call Batman a warrior?  I mean, first of all, he’s just an alter ego, whereas Spike is always just Spike and then you’ve got the whole vigilante thing.”  </p><p>Jonathan conceded.</p><p>“True, Spike’s no vigilante.  He’s all happy and doesn’t have anything to avenge.  Batman’s not really a warrior per say, even if he thinks he's really Batman.  He’s more like a mysterious, brooding, tortured hero.  Like the other vampire Buffy was with.”</p><p>“Batman is tragic,” Andrew agreed.  “At least in the first two movies, losing Catwoman and his parents.”</p><p>“Catwoman.”  Jonathan got a glazed look in his eyes.  “The epitome of woman.”</p><p>“Not really a woman.  Dr. Chase was more my style anyway.”</p><p>“Don’t be an idiot.  Michelle Pfeiffer!  Come on!”</p><p>“What’s wrong with Nicole Kidman?”</p><p>“Nothing.  But Chase was too wrapped up in herself and her Batman obsession.  Catwoman at least had a purpose other than being the new love interest for him.  Chase was just another Bond girl.”  </p><p>Andrew retorted sharply and the conversation continued along the same lines until the others joined them and interrupted the other epic battle that took place that day.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joyce opened the door to issue in the battle worn and spell-jazzed up gang.</p><p>“My, you all look ready to drop and you still want to have a party?”</p><p>“Tradition, Mom,” said Buffy.  </p><p>They all gathered in the living room with popcorn and drinks.  Joyce handed Spike a steaming mug that, he thankfully noticed, did not have Kiss the Librarian printed on it.</p><p>“What’s this then, Mum?” he asked, wrapping his hands around it.</p><p>“Something special I picked up for you today.  Try it.”  </p><p>He obliged her by taking a deep draught.  A look of ecstasy passed over his face and he looked at her sharply.</p><p>“What’d you do, Joyce?  Pop a vein?”</p><p>“No.”  She laughed.  “I was at the hospital today and one of the interns told me how much blood is going to waste due to expiration.  They were just throwing it away.  I told them I knew someone who could help.”  </p><p>He grinned at her.</p><p>“Brilliant job.  It’s like heaven and a feast.”  </p><p>They looked at the others who were staring at them wearing expressions of disgust.</p><p>“Eww,” was the collective comment.  </p><p>The phone rang and Joyce hurried to answer it.  She turned and held it out.</p><p>“Buffy, it’s for you.”  </p><p>Buffy took it.  Spike pointedly listened to both sides of the conversation.</p><p>“Hello.  Oh, hi, Riley.”</p><p>“Hi, Buffy.  Listen, I’m at the debriefing.  The Initiative is shutting down.  I thought you’d want to know.”</p><p>“How come?  Not that I’m sad or anything, but why now?”</p><p>“The government was experimenting with the program to see if the hostiles could be used for our purposes.  Under the circumstances, they’ve concluded the hostiles cannot be controlled.”</p><p>“And about time.  They have no way to deal with these things, no matter how sophisticated your technology is.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, I’m being reassigned.  So this is goodbye.”</p><p>“Where will you go?”</p><p>“Classified information I’m afraid.”  </p><p>She laughed.</p><p>“Of course it is.  Well, be careful and good luck.  Don’t let the beasties getcha.”</p><p>“And you, Buffy.  Be wary of the vampire.”</p><p>“Goodbye, Riley.”</p><p>“Goodbye, Buffy.”  </p><p>She hung up the phone and turned to the group.</p><p>“Initiative is officially closed.”</p><p>“All right!” said Xander.  “Now we can all be killed instead of them!”</p><p>They all settled down to watch a movie, but everyone kept falling asleep, so they eventually decided to call it a night.  </p><p>Each headed to their respective places.  Joyce went upstairs, Tara to her dorm, Giles for some alone grownup time playing guitar at his flat, Willow and Oz to his room, Jonathan and Andrew to their underground apartment, Xander and Anya to his basement, and Buffy and Spike to their apartment.  Everyone was filled with a sense of fulfillment and purpose, knowing the battle was over for now and they could rest.</p><p>***</p><p>Anya lay with her head nestled on Xander’s shoulder and her nose wrinkled at the bleach smell.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” she asked him.</p><p>“My life.  Some things need to change,” he replied.</p><p>“Like me?  You’re breaking up with me!”  She sat bolt upright.  </p><p>Xander looked at her incredulously.</p><p>“Whoa!  Slow down there.  I’m not breaking up with you.  Are you breaking up with me?”</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous.  I tried that once.  It doesn’t work.”</p><p>“Okay,” he said, calming himself.  “Then nobody’s breaking up with each other and I can breathe again.”</p><p>“All right,” she said, settling herself back onto his chest.  “Don’t scare me like that again.  It’s rude and frightening.”  </p><p>He opened his mouth for a second to argue, then closed it again.  Why bother?</p><p>“What are you going to change that’s not me?” she asked after a moment.</p><p>“I’m gonna move.  I need a place to live that’s not here.”</p><p>“Of course you do.  This place is awful.  Do you mean it?”  </p><p>Xander nodded.  </p><p>Anya clapped her hands together.</p><p>“Oh, I’m so excited!  I can’t contain it.  You’re not going to live in this musty old dungeon where I have to come and visit you if I want to see you and have sex.”  She kissed him.</p><p>“With the construction work,” he said, avoiding her comments, “I’m finally getting enough to pay for someplace else.  Some place nice for you.”</p><p>“Xander, that was very sweet.  You are improving.”  </p><p>He grinned.</p><p>“Just don’t tell Spike.  He’d gloat and try to take credit for it.”  </p><p>Anya smiled and kissed him again.</p><p>***</p><p>Willow looked around Oz’s room in satisfaction.  It was once again full of his stuff, with pictures of them and it even smelled like him, like them.  Oz emerged from the bathroom and smiled down at her on the bed.  He got in beside her and wrapped his arms around her.</p><p>“What are you thinking about?” she asked.</p><p>“Oddly enough, you,” he answered, quirking an eyebrow at her.  “My mind seems to do that automatically.  It’s funny that way.”  </p><p>Willow smiled.  She couldn’t believe he was with her again, that he was here after all that time apart.</p><p>“Did I ever tell you how glad I am you’re back?  It’s like Christmas, only not actually Christmas, cause I’m Jewish, but you know the meaning of what I mean.  It’s like the part where we watch movies and Xander does the Snoopy dance.”</p><p>“Yeah.”  He kissed her forehead.  ‘Yeah, Will, I do know.”</p><p>“You’re so Oz,” she said.</p><p>“Have been for some time.  Actually, I can’t help it.”</p><p>“And I wouldn’t want you to.  If you could, you wouldn’t be you and then I wouldn’t have you, but somebody else and I’d probably lose control and magic you back.”</p><p>“Best I save you the temptation and stay me.”  He paused.  “Witchdom okay these days?  That spell was pretty freaky and I worry about you.”</p><p>“Don’t worry.  I’m not gonna go all wicked witch of the west on you.  The spell was…it was incredible, like nothing I’d ever done before, even re-ensouling Angel.  That was like I had no control.  I wasn’t doing the spell; it was doing itself through me.  And it was always like that, even after I started studying witchcraft.  But this time, I had the power.  It wasn’t me just grabbing something else to get what I wanted.  I was using my own power to channel the magic and I could feel...it was like the three of them were inside me and I was inside them and we were so unstoppable.  I’m gonna keep learning, because I want that again.  I want to do it right and not keep losing it.”  </p><p>She looked at him and he smiled at her, his eyes expressing so much more than his simple words.</p><p>“You’re amazing, Will.  Like nothing I’ve ever known.  It’s scary, but you’re worth it.”  </p><p>He kissed her gently and she responded in like kind.</p><p>“Just don’t go mating with other wolves,” she whispered.  </p><p>He smiled again.</p><p>“No worries.  My wolf chose you for its mate.  Oz for life: your new mantra.”</p><p>“I can handle that,” she said and kissed him some more.</p><p>***</p><p>Tara stretched and put down her textbook.  With all the Scooby action lately she hadn't kept up on her homework as well as she would have liked.  Exams waited not for demon Frankenstein monsters.  </p><p>She wouldn't have it any other way though.  It had been the best year of her life and she was incredibly happy.  She'd gone from being all alone, repressed, terrified she was a danger to others, to being surrounded by people, encouraged to speak out, and knowing she was an asset to her family.</p><p>Because they were a family.  She would never be so grateful to anyone as to Buffy for speaking to her that day in class.  It was the changing point of her life and Tara intended to make every single day from then on just as good.  With Buffy as her best friend and Giles to help her with her magic and Spike to make her laugh and all the others to make up all the other little things she needed, she had everything she could ever hope or wish for.  </p><p>For the first time in her life since her mother passed away, Tara felt like she was actually living.</p><p>***</p><p>Giles put the guitar down and laid it lovingly in its spot.  It had been far too long since he'd been able to unwind with it.  There had been too much going on.  But now with the latest Big Bad taken care of, he could take some time for himself.</p><p>Truth be told, he'd been a little depressed this year.  With his job as librarian kaput and Buffy busy with Spike, he hadn't felt very useful.  Still, he supposed he was feeling what every parent felt at this stage of life.  A little bit of empty-nest syndrome.  Before he'd left the Summers home that evening he'd asked Joyce how she'd dealt with it.  She'd laughed and told him it wasn't ever dealt with, but the free time was a definite bonus.</p><p>He highly agreed with her, even though it was likely he would have eight teenagers and a highly immature vampire crawling all over his apartment the next day.  </p><p>He would take the time he could get and now that Spike was around to take care of Buffy, he could focus on the next stage of his life.  He'd had his eye on the magic shop recently.  Not that he was going to do anything rash and he'd have to be soft in the head to not notice the high turn-over of ownership of that place, but it was something to think about.  He needed something to occupy his time when evil was quiet and the children were engaged elsewhere.  And, as much as he loved his guitar, he didn't think that was the answer no matter how many phone numbers he'd gotten while playing at the Espresso Pump.</p><p>He slowly climbed the stairs to bed, reflecting idly that for once he didn't feel the need for a drink to help him sleep. </p><p>***</p><p>Jonathan knocked back the rest of his Red Bull and decided to call it a night.</p><p>“You're sleeping already?” whined Andrew, pressing pause on his controller.</p><p>“I've been up for twenty hours,” Jonathan said wearily.  “I have exams next week.”</p><p>“You are as lame as...” Andrew was obviously desperately searching for something “...as the Justice League compared to the Avengers.”</p><p>Jonathan stopped mid-stride and turned back to his friend.</p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p>“The Justice League couldn't stay awake as long as the Avengers could,” Andrew challenged.</p><p>Jonathan didn't even care at that point that he was being manipulated into staying up longer.</p><p>“Oh, it's on,” he said, sitting back down.  “First off, the Avengers are practically all made up out of mere humans using technology to boost their abilities.  You think Iron Man's got some kind of caffeine injector in his suit?  The Justice League has Superman, the Martian Manhunter, and if we're going by the cartoon, Hawkgirl.  All superior lifeforms who don't need as much sleep.  Then you've got Wonder Woman, the Flash, and sometimes Aquaman who are all meta-humans.  Green Lantern's ring is way more powerful than like...Thor's hammer, for instance.  And if you're even implying that any mere human could beat Batman, you've got a serious ass-kicking coming.  Probably from Batman.”</p><p>“Batman's rubber couldn't stand up to Iron Man's suit,” Andrew said, leaning forward eagerly.  “And even Superman would have problems standing up to the Hulk in Green Mode.”</p><p>“Heat vision ringing any bells?” Jonathan contested hotly.  “He doesn't even need to tussle with him.”</p><p>“Thor's from another dimension, too,” Andrew pointed out.</p><p>“So?  Doesn't mean he could stand up against the most powerful superhero on this planet or any other.”</p><p>“Get some kryptonite!”</p><p>“Get some lead!”</p><p>Jonathan leaned back and relaxed.  Another typical night for them.</p><p>***</p><p>“Not even a little tired, love?” Spike nibbled on Buffy’s ear.  </p><p>She mewled in pleasure.</p><p>“Nope, just us two nocturnal creatures here.”</p><p>“Good.  So, you gonna tell me what it was like?”</p><p>“You don’t like magic, remember?” she teased.</p><p>“I’ll deal with the pain.  Come on, give, Slayer.”</p><p>“It was a rush.  More power and knowledge than I knew what to do with.  It was certainty and composure and all the things you want when you can’t get them.  It was quite cool.”  </p><p>They lay in silence for a few minutes before Buffy reached over and nuzzled his neck.</p><p>“Watcha thinking about?”</p><p>“Your Mum, brilliant lady.”</p><p>“Eww.  Why are you thinking about my mother in our bed?  That’s very, very gross.”  </p><p>He looked horrified.</p><p>“Not like that!  Give me a heart attack, or the vampire equivalent anyway.  I was thinking about the blood she’s getting me.”</p><p>“Again, eww.”  But after a moment, Buffy had another question.  “What’s blood taste like?”</p><p>“Haven’t you ever bit yourself, love?”</p><p>“Well, yeah, but does all blood taste the same?  What makes a difference in who you bite?”  </p><p>He shifted to look at her.</p><p>“Age, sex, what you eat.  It all depends.  Girls are sweeter, but men are more sustaining.  Alcoholics are a ride, same for junkies.  Younger people are a fresher, lighter meal.  Can be hot or cold, thick or thin.  Bloody variety of reasons.”</p><p>“So why’s animal blood so disgusting?”</p><p>“It’s like eating molding cheese compared to the fruit of the gods.  Congrats, pet, your race just happens to be absolutely delicious.  Not all animal blood is really nasty though.  Otter, for example, is quite tasty, but Gramps could tell you that rat and pig - way down on the edible scale.  Besides, I think there’s something about humans that we need, probably cause we come from you.  But could be just the taste, don’t know really.”</p><p>“I’ve been bitten, you know,” she said, softly.</p><p>“I know,” he said, just as quiet.  “I can feel the marks, even without seeing them.”</p><p>“The first time wasn’t fun at all.  The second was pleasurable in a weird way, but not fun.”  He tensed at the mention of the intimacy she and Angel had shared.  “Biting is important to you guys, isn’t it?  Blood, it’s your life.”  Buffy stared at the ceiling, and then looked into Spike’s eyes.  “Will you bite me?”  </p><p>His eyes widened in shock and he practically recoiled.</p><p>“No bloody way.  I’m not treating you like a sodding appetizer.”  </p><p>She pulled him toward her.</p><p>“It’s not just about eating.  I’m the Slayer, I know.  It’s about connecting and sharing life.  I want to connect with a vampire in a bite that’s not just about raw need, but love.”  Spike continued to stare at her, jaw set stubbornly.  “Don’t you want to?” she asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” he gulped.  “I do, but I-"</p><p>“Come on, Spike.  Remember all that blood just pumping away,” she tempted him, drawing out the word pumping as she had done before so long ago when she still hated him.  </p><p>He stared in longing at her neck, so delicious and willingly offered, and gave in.</p><p>”A taste.”  </p><p>Buffy lifted her neck and his senses blared, all the blood under her skin singing to him.  </p><p>Slowly, deliberately, and with great care not to hurt, his features changed and he sank his teeth into her.</p><p>Warm ecstasy flowed into his mouth and overwhelmed his entire body.  She was hot and expectant, fruity and golden, and sweet and willing.  It was all he could do not to howl with pleasure to the night and partake forever in this life-giving ambrosia.</p><p>***</p><p>Under him, Buffy opened her mouth to scream at the pain, but no sound came out, then a new sensation rolled over her in waves and she gasped with the weight of it.  This wasn’t like before, this was better.  Like all of her being was being treasured and loved and fondled and devoured at the same time.  She thought the spell was a rush!  This far outweighed it and she cried out in loss as he stopped and his lips moved from her neck.</p><p>It had been as he promised, only a taste, and yet what had transpired in those few seconds was beyond what she could have imagined.  He licked the wounds closed and rested on her shoulder as if he couldn’t believe his own audacity.  </p><p>“Are you okay, love?  Not hurt?”  </p><p>Buffy shook her head.</p><p>“Never better.”  </p><p>But she was overcome with a need for more of him and she grabbed his head and pulled it to hers so their lips met and once again the entire world pulled away.  There was just the Slayer and the Vampire and their impossible love.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Buffy opened her eyes.  It felt like she was sleeping, yet she was in her own bed, Spike lay beside her...purring? but something was off.  The green, horned demon wearing a lavish and garishly colored suit walking in with a cocktail glass in his hand might’ve had something to do with it.</p><p>“Well, sugar, looks like you got everything going for you.”  Buffy glanced around and grabbed for the knife she kept by the bed.  The demon held up a hand in supplication.  “Hold up there, doll.  I’m one of those friendly demons hubby’s been telling you about.”</p><p>“What does the friendly demon want?” she asked warily.</p><p>“To be honest, not entirely sure.  A little muddled from the journey over.  This dream mentor thing doesn’t happen to me often, but, boy, kitten, when it does, it’s a dilly of a trip.”  She stared.  “The name’s Lorne, by the way.”</p><p>“I’m-"</p><p>“I know who you are, cupcake.  It’s all starting to come back to me.”  Lorne took a sip of his drink.  “That’s better.  Good Seabreeze does it every time.”</p><p>“So why are you here?”</p><p>“Well, there’s the little matter of the giganimous spell you kids pulled off today.  Impressive, really, but dangerous.”  </p><p>Buffy sighed.</p><p>“Let me guess, you’re here to tell me about the consequences.”</p><p>“In a manner yes, but don’t go grabbing for your stake yet, Bufflet, they’re already over.”</p><p>“What?  How can they be over?”  </p><p>Lorne reached out a hand to reassure her.</p><p>“Well, darling, all these months with the heartache and uncertainty, the no friends, and the trusting of your enemies were it.  Learning about what is and all the people you’ve got initiated in your group now, all part and parcel of the test.  Congrats, you passed.  And your reward, Miss Hack and Slash, was the spell.”</p><p>“Back up there, Green-man,” Buffy asked.  “How do you know?  How can the consequences come before the action?”</p><p>“I’m your spiritual advisor per say, honey, and let’s not call them consequences.  Let’s call them trials, shall we?  The Powers saw you’d need some major mojo to get rid of that hulking lunk of an Adam and you had to earn it.  You did.”</p><p>“So we don’t have to worry about horrible icky things growing out of our heads because of what we did?  Upside.”  </p><p>Buffy tilted her head happily.  </p><p>Lorne screwed up his mouth.</p><p>“About that.  Not to say life will be all daffodils and music from now on, but you don’t have to worry about any new nasty from this spell.  There’ll be more evil to fight, but soldier on, sweet cakes, everybody’s backing you.”  Lorne glanced behind him.  “Oops, gotta go.  It’s time for my number.  Toodles, peach fuzz.”  </p><p>Buffy blinked, Lorne disappeared, and the next thing she knew, she was opening her eyes to meet a brand new day.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some dialogue is from the show, I don't own Buffy.  This is the first fic I ever wrote, heavily re-written and posted on AO3 for the first time.  Be gentle with it, I was only 16!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>